Prayers, please!

I'm a huge fan of prayer. Seriously, I pray 346,594,439,103,049,664,258,376 times a day! Or so it seems... 
I love praying. It brings a sense of peace and hopefulness, and it's a weight being lifted off of my shoulders each and every time. I know that I do not have to walk this life journey on my own. God's got me. And when I'm in a particular situation in which I'm frustrated about or worried about, I know that I can turn to God and immediately feel a sense of peace wash over my entire body. It's amazing! 
All too often we turn to prayer as an outlet of frustration and anger - and that's fine! God can take it, believe me! When tragedy strikes, we question God. We don't know which way is up, and we don't know why God allowed for such a thing to happen. Why didn't he stop it? Why didn't he heal our loved one? Why? I wrote about that here. Turn to prayer. 
However, we should also pray in times of happiness and joy! Thank God for all that he has blessed your life with. Did you get to spend an extra hour sleeping? Thank God! Did you ace that final exam? Thank God! Did you travel safely to visit with family and friends for the holidays? Hallelujah! Thank God! Prayer does not only have to be filled with grief, hatred, confusion, or anger - it can be filled with love, patience, happiness, and hope. Be overly grateful and pray to God for all that you are thankful for. Pray that you know whatever happens, in His time, is His will, not yours. {a great and powerful post on that by Chelsea over at Anchors Aweigh yesterday, as her and her husband face the unknown in the military}

Sometimes, though, we forget to pray. We forget that God is at the center of it all and that we must put our faith in Him and His timing. We forget. Seriously?! It breaks my heart when I feel so completely overwhelmed by a situation that I feel I cannot breathe. Hello, Bri?! God's got you! And it's true. But we most often forget His presence in our times of joy. We happily go on with our lives in full complacency - but guess who made that happen? Yep, you guessed it. God. Pray to Him and thank Him. 
I constantly and continuously accept prayer requests. And I mean that! I take time out of my day {every single day} to pray for those in need. If you are in need of extra prayers, please don't hesitate for a single second! Let me know! Reach out to me in any way you feel comfortable {several means of communication here} and send me your prayer requests. You can be as vague or specific as you want, God knows what you're going through. 
With that being said, I'm sending up some serious prayers that my sweet husband feels better soon! It's nothing serious {God-willing}, but he's been fighting something fierce for the past few weeks and he just can't get rid of it. He's miserable, and I don't know how else to help him. Everything the doctors have given him seem to make things better for a few days, but then his breathing is labored again and the fever comes back. He's off to the doctor again today, so hopefully they'll have more answers! It breaks my heart to see him feeling so under the weather, and I pray that his spirits are lifted and that he feels better soon! If praying is your thing, please pray for better health to come his way! I seriously thank you in advance. :) 
Can I pray for you today? 

Dental {Emergency}

I've definitely been MIA lately - and that might even be an understatement! Regardless, life has definitely not been fun these past few weeks. Seriously. This past week, I've been struggling with a dental emergency. At least, that's what I've been calling it because it's totally uprooted my life. 

So, a week ago yesterday, I woke up in complete agonizing pain in my mouth; I chalked it up to a toothache - no biggie. It happens.  Well, several Advil, tears, and many hours later, the pain was worse than ever. Seriously - I was willing to do just about anything for it to stop. Why is mouth pain so unbearable?! I was paralyzed by the pain. And it's a pain like no other. It's deep, throbbing, and electrifying - not in a good way. I've tried putting it into words and have failed miserably for a week now. I spent that evening searching my dental insurance for dentists in network to try contacting the next day. FYI - if you're going to have a dental emergency, don't do it on the weekend! {like you can control it...I know} My husband was at work and I was all alone, scaring the dog through the bouts of pain that was tearing through my face. Luckily, I am completely blessed with amazing parents who stayed on the phone with me for over an hour attempting to calm me down until Colten got home. Thank goodness! There's something about just not being alone during a time in need that is somewhat comforting. I had tried everything - what do I do?! Luckily for my sanity, Advil PM did the trick long enough for me to get 'some' sleep that night. 

Monday morning rolled around and I called in to work; I then called the dentist's office. Well, it was a struggle with my new insurance. It's an HMO so I had to assign a provider prior to being seen. As it was, I did not have a prior dentist in Austin yet, so anyone would do, really. After about ten attempts and ten different offices, I finally found a provider that would be able to see me that day. And assigning them as my primary care dental provider was easy! Thank goodness for small favors! But, the appointment availability was not until 2:30 that afternoon, so I was left in pain until then. Somehow, I managed, and Colten got off work at 1pm that day and was able to go with me. And off we went. Now is the time that I admit I had not seen a dentist in 6 years. *shudders* It's true. And I'm not proud of it! But, it is what it is, and it was time to figure out exactly what was going on. By this time, the pain was even more unbearable [if that was even possible] and the left side of my face was starting to really swell up. Something was wrong. 

Being a new patient, they had to do a complete oral exam, which was mostly fine. Except, the hygienist had to measure my gums and basically poke inside and out of every.single.tooth. NOT OKAY when you're seriously in pain! Tears were shed, it's true. I should also mention that I have a zero tolerance for pain; yup, I'm a wuss! At least the dental assistant was nice about it and seemed to care. It helped, and it reminded me that yet again, a little compassion goes a long way in this world! But anyway, xrays were taken and the dentist came in; I walked out of there with a co-pay and a referral to see an endodontist. Eeeek! I knew it was bad if I had to see a specialist. :( But by the time I got home, it was after 5pm and I had to wait to call for an appointment until the next day. Luckily, though, the dentist did prescribe an antibiotic for the infection. 



Super swollen! Uck!



The endodontist recommended that I go in around 10am and she would try to fit me in since the pain was only increasing. The tech here was not as nice :(. Neither was the receptionist. Ugh! After sitting in the waiting room in excruciating pain for over an hour and a half, they took me back. After a few more deeper xrays [ouch!], the results were in: the root canal that I had done about 6 1/2 years ago was infected. And from the looks of the xrays, it was a large infection! Boo. But, due to the extreme swelling and high pain level, there was nothing that could be done immediately. So, home I went, after a hefty co-pay this time, and a prescription for pain meds! Thank God! I was not leaving that place without it! I was scheduled for retreatment of my root canal the following Thursday, over a week away. 

Basically, the original root canal [for one reason or another] was not successful; cue picture on the left. That's exactly what is going on in my mouth right now. To fix it, redo the root canal. Or, oral surgery to go in through my gums, or extract the tooth. Umm, option one please!  And just an FYI for anyone going through tooth pain or something to remember if you ever do, DO NOT look up pictures or information online...just don't do it! Save yourself! Seriously. 

Tuesday night was the worst! The antibiotic needed to be in my system for 48 hours before I noticed the effects of it, and I was just shy of that deadline. I knew I was in trouble after taking Vicodin and experiencing NO relief! My husband ultimately called his mom, who called the hospital - I was able to take Advil with the Vicodin and finally had relief! But I was also scared. I just wanted to start feeling normal again instead of upset, angry, and scared. Would things ever get back to normal? Logically, I knew they would, as both the dentist and endodontist said they would, and I trusted them both. But, my irrational brain was telling me different. No surprise there! I also scared myself during those moments of severe, paralyzing pain. It made me angry and I didn't recognize myself at all. Seriously, I didn't like it one bit. I recall willing to do just about anything, and I mean ANYTHING to make the pain subside. Thank goodness for the invention of medication! It's been a lifesaver this past week! And for my amazing husband and parents. Without them, only God knows what would've happened.

And the lack of ability to eat - oh my goodness! My face was so swollen that eating anything solid was impossible. I was forced on a liquid diet for those first three days! Smoothies were my go-to, for sure! But on Saturday, I was able to gum down some cheese pizza and oh my yum was it amazing! Talking has been difficult as well.

Now, I'm back at work, but only for a few days, as my procedure is scheduled for Thursday this week. I'm requesting prayers, please! The first root canal was bad enough, but I've heard the retreatment is more intense, as it's more complicated going back in. I struggle with fear of the unknown, and not knowing exactly what is going to happen during this procedure or just how much pain I'll be in during and after has me terrified! Also, the pain has significantly subsided, as has the swelling, and I do not look forward to being back in pain and in the beginning phase of recovery once again. It's driving me insane, and I'm unable to look forward to really anything [weekends, days off, fun stuff, etc.] until this is over. Seriously, I'm a wuss! But it's a fear I continue to try to conquer every day. Again, prayers are very much appreciated! 

I know that this is just another trial in my life to get through, and I know that it's not the end of the world. But it's been a very tough week and has tried my patience, my marriage, and my faith to the core. But I hope and pray that I come out of this stronger than ever! 

{Family} Shenanigans

This weekend was a blast!  Seriously.   Friday, I was harassed because not only had I not seen the movie 'Red', I hadn't even heard of it! My sister thought this was ludicrous, so we proceeded to an evening watching Red before she had to go into work.  I felt honored because she was willing to wake up early and have me over!  Ironically, Red was on TNT this weekend ... *heh*.   Saturday, I worked overtime (yes...I work six days a week...#ithinkican) and then relaxed for a few hours on our couch with our doggy catching up on some television.  Score!  Then, I headed over (literally, walked) to the movie theater with my brother and sister to watch Red 2! It was sooooo good!  It was also great to spend some time with my siblings!  

  one//rainbow after the movie on Saturday two//main event entertainment! super awesome place three//proof of the one and only time I did good during our two hours of bowling four//Red 2 'nuff said!   Sunday, my parents headed to Austin to pick up a very giant, very heavy box that's been living in our garage for like a week...which meant some family time!  We headed out to a late lunch at Pappadeaux, which was amazing!  I hadn't been there in forever, and know I remember why: we're poor and Pappadeaux is not a good place for your wallet... ;).  But the food was amazing and the company was even better!  THANKS MOM & DAD!   After lunch, we took a very scenic route to Main Event Entertainment.  My dad got a new truck recently, and we tested its navigational skills.  Truck got game! Ha! :)  When we arrived, we were told it would be about a half hour wait, not too bad for a Sunday afternoon!  We ultimately didn't have to wait that long, and we got our bowl on! Josh had perfect timing for his arrival - he had been playing bball with some friends prior to that and decided to come bowl with us, and he showed up right when it was his turn!  

Please ignore the poor picture quality. K thanks.

We had a blast!  Especially when our time was running out and we decided to try to see how many frames we could get through in like 12 minutes - super hilarious by the way!  But today, my body is not happy with me!  My hand is sore and my knee hurts - typical Bri stuff, you know.  For those that don't know, I'm a klutz and am typically injured in some odd form or fashion.  This reminds me of my high school years when I showed up for two-a-days on crutches (or maybe just a pretty bad limp and busted up leg) after a vacation at the Frio.  My coaches just shook their heads at me...hey, it wasn't my fault the river beat me up!  At least I still showed up for two-a-days, right?? :-D  Speaking of two-a-days, though, thank GOODNESS those days are over.  Seriously.    After bowling, we headed back to mine and Colten's apartment and said our goodbyes.  Mom and dad headed home, as did Josh.  Colten and I enjoyed our evening in watching Yours, Mine, and Ours and planning our meals for the week.  My husband is amazing and agreed to buy groceries by himself tomorrow.  So sweet!  Especially because after a long afternoon, all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch with a blanket and rest!    Linking up with Sami today. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------   To all the prayer warriors out there (yes, that means YOU), I have a prayer request.    Please keep my family in your prayers, especially my grandfather and his children.  This is another difficult time on this long journey and it definitely hasn't been easy.  Please pray that they may be comforted in any way possible and that they find the peace, patience, and strength to make it through.    I won't get into all of the details on here at this time, but any and all prayers are greatly appreciated!   ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have a blessed week, y'all! ♥
 

Pray for {Oklahoma}

Today, the entire nation is praying for Oklahoma while they deal with the effects of yesterday's tornado.    A tornado ripped through Moore, OK yesterday afternoon, destroying dozens of buildings and homes, including two elementary schools.    

 The tornado is reported to have been 2 miles wide - y'all, that's HUGE!  The National Weather Service put the tornado at EF-4, with winds up to 200mph.    The death toll had been reported to be at 51, with twenty of those being children.  However, the death toll has been revised down to 24, and at least 240 people are injured.     

  If you or anyone you know are looking for loved ones, you can call the patient care hotline at moore Medical Center: 405.307.1366.      Please, if you can donate, do!  The best way to help is to donate at RedCross.org or text REDCROSS to 90999.  $10 will be donated to redcross and be added to your cell phone bill.    The Salvation Army has mobilized a number of emergency relief services in Oklahoma, including Moore, to dispense food, hydration and emotional support to first responders and survivors.  Donate online or text STORM to 80888 to contribute $10 to the Salvation Army's relief efforts.  You can also call to make a donation at 1-800-SAL-ARMY.     Check out this video of a tornado survivor that lost her home but found her dog while being interviewed on TV: http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/469468/20130521/oklahoma-tornado-mising-dog-found-cbs-live.htm     Today, I'm praying for everyone affected by this natural disaster.    Today, pray for Oklahoma.  

   

Praying for Boston

My heart hurts.    Three people were killed yesterday, and over 100 were injured.    Yes, there was another tragedy.    This time, at a marathon.    WHEN WILL IT END?!    Sadly, never.    There is always going to be crime, hatred, and apparently, terrorism.      Two explosions went off yesterday at the Boston Marathon, killing three and injuring many.  The pictures were horrendous.  I cried.  Please, please pray for anyone and everyone effected by the mindless tragedy that occurred.  Lives have been forever altered.  

Just in the past year, it seems as if these tragedies are occuring more and more frequently.  Shootings, stabbings, bombings ... no one is exempt.  It could happen to anyone, anywhere.  And it's causing a lot of fear in the eyes and hearts of people everywhere.    This morning I was listening to SPiRiT 105.9 here in Austin and Max Lucado touched on the topic of fear.  He said there are three questions people ask in the face of an event such as yesterday's bombing: 1-Who am I? 2-Is there a God? 3-Does He know me and love me?  If you can answer these positively, then you have a leg up on confidence and purpose.    Yes, there is fear.  But that doesn't mean you should consume your life with it.  You can't stop living - what good would that do?  none. It's natural to question God when something like this happens.  But God did not promise that evil would never happen.  The devil has gotten into so many hearts, and so many people are angry.  Instead, turn to love.  Consider yourself blessed to be alive today, and look for something, anything, to do for those facing tragedy and hard decisions.  God has put you exactly where you're meant to be.  Don't throw that away.    Instead, look for the hope and the love in the face of tragedy.  Look for the heroes.  Yesterday, there were so many heroes.  Emergency crews worked nonstop to tend to the victims of this tragedy and to keep everyone safe; no one knew if it was over or if more would occur.  Passersby helped complete strangers - applying pressure to bleeding wounds, staying with victims until help arrived even if only for reassurance of humanity in the face of danger, bringing wheelchairs to the fallen, assisting medical crews where necessary.  The people of Boston opened up their homes to complete strangers for those that needed a place to stay and could not return home.    That's pretty awesome.    No, that's badass.  God placed those people there yesterday to help, to show their selflessness in the face of absolute fear and horror.     Our nation is not new to tragedy.  It's been happening for many, many years.    A few that come to mind: 1995 - Oklahoma City bombing (Friday will mark the 18-year anniversary) 1999 - Combine High School shooting (Saturday will mark the 14-year anniversary) 2007 - Virginia Tech shooting (today marks the six-year anniversary) 2009 - Fort Hood Shooting 2011 - September 11th Terrorist Attacks 2012 - Aurora Theater Shooting 2012 - Sandy Hook Elementary shooting 2013 - Boston Marathon bombing   I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and heartbreak that each of these (and more) have cost.  But in the face of all of them, there has been heroism.  Whether it's physically helping victims or families, stopping the murderer, raising funds for victims' families, or praying.  No gesture is too small to help.    If you want to help out in the current tragedy, the Boston Marathon bombings, please go here.    It's hard not to be afraid.  Based on past events, fear is present in just about everything: going to school (whether it be elementary, high school, or college...none have been exempt), going to work, to the gym, to the movie theater with friends or family, a day at the mall, and now, running in a marathon.  It's scary.    But when tragedy strikes, America strikes back.  We've come back from all of these as a stronger nation.  We spread love.  We spread hope.  We rebuild and help the victims & families back up.  We do not give up.    So, if you can, hug your children a little tighter, tell your parents that you love them, send that email you've been putting off to your family you haven't seen in a while, get in the car and visit your loved ones, hang out with your friends - even a simple text to let someone know you're thinking about them.  It's not hard, and it only takes a minute to let someone know you love them.  Please don't take that for granted.  Tomorrow is not promised to any of us.  Make today count.    Today, my thoughts and prayers are especially with the victims, families, first responders, strangers and good samaritans of the Boston Marathon bombings yesterday.  They are left with the aftermath of the event, of which sometimes is harder than anything else.     And since I'm requesting prayers, please also pray for humanity.  Pray that those in need of mental and physical help are in a position to ask for it or to receive it.  Pray for random acts of kindness.  Pray for peace, and for healing.  Pray for love.     Today, I'm praying for Boston.         

The Worst of Times

Sunday morning's sermon was very eye-opening, and quite honestly could not have come at a better time!  In life, we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle, and when things don't go our way, or in some or most instances, go completely awry, we are stressed and 'freak out'.  I admit, I've had so many of these 'freak outs' that I can't even begin to count them.  But, as discussed this past Sunday, we are so burdened with tunnel-vision, that we cannot see anything outside of the terrible things that are happening to us, in which we are so quick to place blame.  Instead, we need to turn to God and praise Him.  Philippians 4:4-8 is the go-to passage for these not-so-easy-to-be-thankful moments:

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.

We are being told to always rejoice in the Lord.  No matter the situation, especially in the worst of times, turn to him, with thanksgiving (which, let's admit, it's hard to be thankful for what we have when we're faced with hardship) and give Him thanks!  Rejoice (it's so important that it's said TWICE) in what you have been blessed with and do not worry.  'Do not be anxious about anything.'  This is probably the hardest part for me.  For example, when burdened financially - let's say quite a bit more money was taken from my account for student loans than what we were told - I asked, how am I supposed to NOT be anxious?  Of course I was anxious!  It was our finances and it put us in quite the bind.  However, I did not let it seethe within myself.  As always, the good Lord provides, and he allowed us to be helped where help could be given.  And for that, I am eternally grateful.  When school wasn't quite going as well as I was wanting, I was completely anxious, but I wasn't supposed to have been.  Instead of only seeing the hardship that was my Kinesiology education, I had to be thankful for everything else that I had and know that God would get me through it.  And boy, did he ever?!  I took a complete 180 degree turn in life and pursued my paralegal degree, and now I'm at a job that I thoroughly enjoy!  It is true - do not be anxious about anything and rejoice!  I know that it's easier said than done, but it all happens for a reason.  So, I challenge you.  We all know that tragedy and hardship strikes nearly every day - but it's up to you how you take that and deal with it.  I challenge you to write this scripture verse down and put it somewhere that you can come back to.  And when things aren't looking your way, pull it out and remember to present your requests, with thanksgiving, to God, and always think about anything that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy in your life.  Think about all of the good that outweighs the bad.  I challenge you to not let the worst of times overwhelm you.  I challenge you to pray.  I challenge you to let go, and let God. 

This sermon was such a great reminder - especially because I get so down on myself when things aren't going right.  I don't like for things to be out of my control, but that's part of life.  I logically know that I cannot be in control at all times, because only God is in control of my life.  It's hard to let go, but I'm trying more and more each and every day.  And lately, I see and know that it's working.  While I was sick these past few days, it was dreadful.  I felt miserable and had no energy whatsoever, but I was thankful for my family and my husband for helping to take care of me and provide for me in what I needed.  I was thankful for the shelter I was able to confine to and for the food I was able to eat.  There is so much good in my life, it helped my sickness be more bearable.  I have a post-it note on my computer monitor reminding me:

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess.  Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best.  Let go and let God. 

I love seeing the reminder every single day.  There's also one particular song that comes into mind in helping deal with the worst of  times: Gary Allan's "Every Storm".

I saw you standing in the middle of the thunder and lightning

I know you're feeling like you just can't win, but you're trying

It's hard to keep on keepin' on, when you're being pushed around

Don't even know which way is up, just keep spinning down, 'round, down...

Every storm runs out of rain

Just like every dark night turns into day

Every heartache will fade away

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

So hold your head up and tell yourself that there's something more

Walk out that door

Go find a new rose, don't be afraid of the thorns

'Cause we all have thorns

Just put your feet up to the edge, put your face in the wind

And when you fall back down, keep on rememberin'

Every storm runs, runs out of rain

Just like every dark night turns into day

Every heartache will fade away

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

It's gonna run out of pain

It's gonna run out of sting

It's gonna leave you alone

It's gonna set you free

Set you free

Every storm runs, runs out of rain

Just like every dark night turns into day

Every heartache will fade away

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

It's gonna set you free,

It's gonna run out of pain,

It's gonna set you free

This is such a great reminder that it's going to happen - there's no way that we can go through life with no storms to weather.  But, every storm runs out of rain.  Every dark night turns into day.  It's going to run out of pain and sting.  If God puts you to it, He'll get you through it.  I personally know that the last thing you want to have lectured to you is that it'll get better, that things are going to look up.  But it's true.  It is going to get better.  You've got to keep on keepin' on and not let the 'thorns' of life keep you down.  Lean on your friends, family, and most importantly, God, and you'll get through the struggles of life.  Because part of living life is enduring the storms that are placed in our path.  You've got to enjoy life and make the most of what you're given, and this song is definitely motivation to do so.  Don't wait for your life to start, because in doing so, your life turns into waiting for reality to happen.  And what kind of life is that? 

So, in the worst of times, rejoice in God and give thanks for what you've been blessed with.  And remember, every storm runs out of rain. 

Inspiration

Perusing Facebook (I know, I know...), I came across a friend's post she shared of her husband's blog  today focusing on Advent.  This completely merges with my recent studies during this Advent season, preparing my heart, mind, and spirit to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  Please take the time to be inspired by The Good Rev. Mack's look into Advent.  It's most definitely an inspiration!


And today's prayer:

Jesus, you are the good Shepherd, caring for me and giving me rest, correcting me when I stray, tending my wounds and protecting me from my enemies.  I confess that I am weak-willed and prone to wander.  Yet you never give up on me.  You refuse to abandon me - even when I have brought calamity upon myself. 

Teach me the joy of surrender and the blessings of obedience.  Help me to willingly submit to your lordship in every area of my life, to obey your teachings.  Guide me in doing the work you have set out for me to do.  I love you.  My hope is in you, my trust is in you.  May I learn to discern your voice so that I may live in obedience to your will right up to the day of your glorious return.  In your name I pray.  Amen.

Have a blessed day!

Advent Season

This time of year, we look forward to Christmas - to the celebration of the birth of Christ.  So, I will take this time to now bask in the presence of His glory. 

I recently purchased a devotional for this advent season, wishing and hoping to deepen my knowledge of this season and the true meaning of Christmas.  I'm not sure if it's just the way I'm perceiving and absorbing Scripture these days (it's definitely deeper than I used to!), but I was entranced with only the first entry! 

It is only in Him that we find our true dignity and purpose as people.  He is the author and finisher of our faith, the One who remains faithful even when we are faithless.

How true is this?!  This is just one of the many glorious things that I am very grateful to be a part of.  Just think of someone who remains faithful when we aren't.  Someone who will be there with open arms to receive you when you've been absent from the relationship for years and hasn't moved on.  That's right - no one comes to mind except our Savior.  Jesus Christ wants everyone.  He wants to accept you, me, my neighbor, your friends, the homeless, the non-believers - everyone!  No matter how long you've been away or haven't come to Him yet, he is waiting to welcome you into His loving arms.  I'm blessed beyond words. 

Give Thanks

So, I'm a little late, but what else is new?! Ha! Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I was sure to take a moment to reflect on everything that I am thankful for. Since November has started, I've seen post after post referring to things people are thankful for each day of this month. I didn't participate (let's face it, I probably wouldn't keep up with a daily post anyway...), but that doesn't mean I'm any less grateful or thankful than everyone else! So, now I'll post 30 things I'm thankful for in my life, in no particular order:

1. Health - I have my share of problems regarding my health, but for the most part, I'm pretty darn healthy! I don't have any major disorders or diseases, and what I am hit with, I am able to handle and get better in a flash (although some 'flashes' take a bit longer than others)

2. Mind - In the field I currently work in, I am reminded on a daily basis of some people's reality, and it's very scary. I am truly thankful that I am of sound mind. I do not have an alternate reality that only I live in, and for that, I am truly blessed and eternally grateful.

3. Work - For some, it takes months, and even YEARS, to find a job with their degree. Nowadays, it's not just about going to college and obtaining a degree - you have to also join the hundreds of thousands of people on the job hunt in order to put that degree to use! I am forever grateful that I was fortunate enough to have landed a job within only 2 months of graduating college.

4. Memories - Just think if memories did not exist... Seriously, contemplate that for a second, or even a few minutes. Now, it would be terrible, wouldn't it?! Memories are sacred moments of time that you can reflect on at any time. Especially in losing loved ones, memories help us to remember them and to cherish the time you spent with them, no matter how long ago.

5. Family - I could fill a 500-page book writing about my family and how important and influential they are to me. No matter the situation, they are always there for me 100% and support me through it all. Whether it be financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically - they're there. Always. And always (well, almost always) without question. I know that no matter what I'm faced with in this lifetime, I can count on my family to be there to face it with me: good or bad. We enjoy the happiness life has to offer, and we face the saddness that sometimes succumbs us. Not everyone can say that about their family. This world can be pretty scary, especially if you have to face it alone. On the darkest of days, my parents and siblings were there to show me the light. They always helped me to see the silver lining of any situation.

6. Food - As anyone who knows me, I love me some food! And usually, I'm not very pick, either. There are so many unfortunate souls that do not have enough food to nourish their bodies, and my heart breaks for them.

7. Rain - I know that here in Texas, it doesn't happen very often anymore, but I'm just thankful it happens at all! It was scary for a while there, but rain has nourished the earth once again, allowing trees and plants to flourish.

8. Holidays - Although they are stressful, I absolutely love the holidays and am thankful to get to spend them with loved ones! My favorite holiday is Christmas, which is no secret! I love the excitement of putting up the Christmas tree and decorating until I collapse. I love the colors and SO.MUCH.GLITTER that comes with it all. Then there's the shopping to put a smile one someone else's face! So joyous! I also love the cold that comes with it. There's just something in the atmosphere during the Christmas holidays that is utterly amazing - there are just no words. It's cold, there's Christmas spirit in the air, everyone is bustling about making plans and getting together, snuggling in front of the fireplace, watching Christmas movies....I could go on forever! I love it.

9. Friends - I've struggled with this topic for a little while, and off and on throughout my short 24 years, but I am truly thankful for the friends that I have. No matter the situation, I always have a friend that I can turn to when I'm in need, even if it's just for support. Although there isn't just one friend for everything, I have a lot of friends for it all! And for them, I am thankful. Let's face it, it takes a lot to put up with me ;).

10. Post-It's - I recently posted on Instagram my love for post-it's, and it's true: I love them! I'm so thankful for them because they help make my life [and job] so much easier! Most of the information I need to jot down is temporary - and what better way to do so than on post-it notes?! I obviously can't think of a better way.

11. Music - Without music, life would be boring (yes, I know not everyone has the luxury of listening to music)! It definitely livens up my life. It also helps to calm me down or get my mind off of things. Whether I'm mad, happy, sad, upset, silly - there's always a genre I can turn to in order to help with my mood. It's glorious!

12. God - God is my savior! Without Him, I do not exist. I do not eat, breathe, sleep, cry, or dream. He puts thorns in my life to allow me to struggle and become of better character. If He puts me to it, He gets me through it! I do admit that some challenges are way harder than others, but I always come out of the other side thankful for the storm. There's a reason for everything, and although it may be hard to accept sometimes, God has His plan for me, and I accept that and put my total faith in Him. I continue to grow closer to Him and allow Him to light my path in this journey through life.

13. Heart - I have a BIG one! I love so many people and so many things, and when someone is down on their luck or struggling to complete even the easiest task, my heart breaks. My heart feels for homeless people and animals alike, for those in need of food, that live in poverty, those stricken with any type of medical disease, for the lonely...I'm making myself sad just typing them all out! The list goes on and on. However, even though it causes sadness, I'm thankful for my big heart. It allows me to feel and give to those that otherwise are neglected. I do what I can when I can, and it's very rewarding.

14. Technology - Who knew that the invention of the computer would have come so far in such a short amount of time? Everything in life has its pro's and con's, and technology is not exempt from that, but technology makes our lives so much easier and more efficient. I realize that it's the cause of our fast-paced world, but there must be progress in the world, and technology continues to progress year after year! I mean, come on...I can see someone that is miles and miles away! I live two hours from my parents, but I can see them anytime I want (mostly anytime I want...as long as we're both connected to wi-fi haha). That's special. And a blessing when you're homesick or have to be away from your loved ones, whatever the reason.

15. Social Media - This kind of goes hand in hand with the technology, but I am thankful for social media. It helps to keep in touch with those we would otherwise lose contact with, and it also is quite entertaining! Additionally, it makes getting news out to people faster.

16. Marriage - We spend our lives in search of that one person we are going to spend 'forever' with. I am eternally thankful to have found my 'someone'! We've had our share of ups and downs, but Colten truly makes me a stronger person and is the most amazing husband I could have ever wanted for myself. I am blessed to have been able to marry him and continue our lives together.

17. Life - I am thankful to be alive! Every day is a blesing and we should cherish it as such. It's so easy to take for granted each and every day, but it is so important!

18. Pictures - The art of photography and being able to capture a moment in time is precious! I admit that I am addicted to photography and am always in love with the ability of those special moments we hold in our hearts to be displayed for all to see.

19. Small Towns - Growing up, I was not thankful for this, but as I've matured and grown up, I am truly thankful for small towns! The city is fast-paced and impersonal. Yes, everyone knows your business before you do in a small town, but it has charm and comfort that you can't find anywhere else.

20. Extended Family - My extended family is also there for me and my immediate family, no matter what. We all have our differences, but when it comes down to the wire, they're present and extending a hand wherever it's needed (most of them anyway). I also am thankful that our extended family gets together for every Holiday throughout the year. Being surrounded by family so often throughout the year is something that many people cannot relate to. I know that it's precious and I absolutely love that I'm a part of such a great tradition. Of course there's always the dullest crayon of the bunch, but we're all family and I love everyone in mine!

21. Blogging - Obviously, I do have somewhat of a life and cannot live on my blog each and every day, but I am thankful for the ability to share my life story and experiences with others in a way that I wouldn't be able to without my blog. I mean, face it, my life would suck without me ;). *see what I did there? HA!*

22. Books - Oh my word - what would I do without books?! Whether it be a physical book or an ebook (which my love for grows stronger every day), I am thankful for authors and publishers that grant me the opportunity to dive into someone else's life for a little while-whether it be for a few chapters or a couple hundred pages-and forget my reality just for a bit. Most of the time, it helps me to appreciate all that I have and the drama-free(ish) life that I live. I'm a book whore - and I love it!

23. Country - This topic is two-fold. I am thankful for THE country - as in, the land with open space and cows and chickens and sky and trees (a.k.a where I grew up). It is so peaceful to spend time in the country where there are no stresses to worry about: parking, traffic, noise, strangers, etc. I am thankful for every day that I get to go back to that place and run wild and free (okay, we all know there is no running involved...). The second part of this is that I am thankful for country MUSIC! It pretty much sums up life. Love, hate, life, death, tragedy, cheating, breaking up and making up, cowboys and pick-up trucks...you name it and there is a song for it! It always puts me in such a great mood. Yes, I'm a country girl and damn proud of it! *no matter which city I may live in*

24. Little Things - I am truly thankful for the little things in life. I don't have to live an extravagent life and take a zillion trips across the world to be happy. I love living a simple life. And I cherish the little things.

25. Laughter - We all know there are many days that just don't go your way. We all have them, most more frequently than we'd like. But laughter always brightens my day. Whether it be at the office or at home or just a phone call, laughing always makes me feel better, and for that, I am thankful!

26. Faith - Without faith, I would not put such trust in God, and I would be miserable. I am thankful that I am filled with faith in God that He has a plan for me to live a happy and prosperous life.

27. Education - As much as I disliked it, I am thankful for the education that I've had the opportunity to possess. Without it, I would not be at a job that I love with such amazing co-workers. It wasn't the path I saw for myself the entire time, but it was all worth it in the end!

28. Love - Without love, how happy can you truly be? Whether you love your friends, family, neighbors, pets, spouse, significant other, God, educators, co-workers.... love is fragile and should be cherished. Love is abundant in my life in every aspect that I can think of, and for that, my friends, I am utterly thankful - words cannot express just how much.

29. Crazy - "Crazy?" you ask? Yes, crazy. I am thankful for crazy. Not the mentally crazy that you're psychotic and don't know what you're doing, but the crazy that allows life to be more than a boring routine of work, home, sleep, repeat. I'm thankful for the crazy that is in my life. One thing that comes to mind when I think of 'crazy' is my family. We are crazy. We will act crazy, say crazy things, DO crazy things, it's all there. And I love it! And it's amazing. And I am thankful for crazy.

30. Unanswered Prayers - We all have those prayers we make when we think we know exactly what would make us happy at that particular time, but I'm thankful for those prayers that went unanswered. I will reiterate that everything happens for a reason, and what we think may make us happy may turn around on us and make us totally miserable. God has His plan, and if the prayer went unanswered, it was for a reason. Without everything I asked for in life, I am truly happy with who I am today and where I am in my life. I'm not perfect and I don't have a perfect life - believe me! But I'm happy. And who knows if I'd be happy of those prayers would've been answered? I don't, but I'm thankful for them.

Of course I am thankful for much more than this, but I feel this is a great list that includes a wide variety of things I am thankful for. I'm also thankful for the holiday of Thanksgiving, in which we are especially reminded to be thankful for what we have. It's easy to forget sometimes...we all do it. So, give thanks and be appreciative of everything you are blessed with throughout the year! I know I am and will.

In Just One Year

In just one year, my life has completely changed.


This simple sentence is definitely an understatement, to say the least.  My life has DRASTICALLY changed in just one short year.  This time last year, I was so bogged down with many milestones that were about to happen in my life:  I was preparing for my wedding that would happen in 5 short days, working towards college graduation in a month, pursuing an internship with the Office of the Attorney General, and working.  That's a LOT to have to keep up with, but I must admit, I did it pretty well and am very proud of the outcomes :).

However, little did I know that my life would change even more in a short amount of time.  Early in the afternoon, on November 7, 2011, I received a call from my husband-to-be.  He told me that instead of going to class later that evening, I needed to go home.  Now, this was a very strange request.  He knew how important school was to me and how missing even one class could be detrimental to my final grade - and it was a class I was not particular keen on.  Plus, he wouldn't give me any additional details - just that I needed to go home after I left my internship for the day.  I couldn't just leave it at that, though.  I also could tell in his voice that something was terribly wrong.  Little did I know just how wrong it was.  I asked a few more questions, and he told me that he received a phone call from my mom about my grandmother.  I immediately hung up the phone with him and called my mom.  She asked who had told me, and I told her that Colten did.  How was he supposed to keep that from me??  Especially after my questions - I was not going to give up until he told me what was going on.  Upon the realization that 'something' was wrong, my mind automatically ran through a list of terrible things that could have happened and the several people I cherish dearly in my life that it could have happened to.  I needed to know.  My mom informed me that my grandma had passed away.  What?!  This couldn't be right.  She was fairly healthy for her age and had been doing fine a few days prior when I had seen her just the weekend before.  My mind just couldn't fathom the information I was trying to process.  My mom continued to explain what had happened - my grandparents were doing what they loved most: taking care of the farm.  They were attempting to give a sick cow a shot.  Their dog could sense the cow's agitation (of trying to be penned up and being sick - I'd be pretty agitated, too), and went after the cow to protect my grandparents.  They loved that dog, who returned that love towards them.  The cow got loose and took after my grandma, who was head-butted in the chest and died.  At least, that's the information we had.  To this day, no one really knows exactly every detail of what had happened, but we have closure, and it's pretty close to the truth from what we can tell.  My grandpa held her tight, begging her not to leave him - that he needed her and loved her so much.  He could not go on without her.  In the midst of everything, my grandpa had been knocked to the ground.  After an amount of time that no one knows, and to be honest, it doesn't even matter, he drew up enough strength to pull himself up and make the trek to the house to call 911.  My grandmother was pronounced dead on the scene.

Upon hearing the news, I lost it.  I completely and utterly lost it.  I couldn't think, I couldn't accept the news, I couldn't even breathe.  Granny was gone, and Pops had witnessed it all.  They had been married for over 50 years, and I cannot imagine, even to this day, the emotional toil this has put him through.  How do you move on from that?  How?  Why?  Why her?  Why then?  So many questions - of which none matter.  It was her time, and God called her to her eternal resting place.  Immediately, I went into my boss's office and just broke down all over again.  I had to tell her the story of what I couldn't, and wouldn't, accept.  How could I?  I was preparing to marry my best friend in 5 days and it was just a sick joke!  Only, it wasn't a joke.  It was far from a joke.  No joke at all.... none.  My boss immediately told me that she was driving me home (obviously, I was in NO shape to drive), and a co-worker followed us in her car.  I got home and immediately hugged my fiance.  I was crying; he was crying; my boss was crying.  It was a mess.  My boss left and then it was just us.  My body was in shock.  My mind was in shock.  Colten didn't know what to do.  What do you do in that situation?  What do you say?  I don't know.  I still don't know.  But it didn't matter.  I knew that I had to get home.  Everyone kept telling me that I didn't need to be there right away - there wasn't anything to be done anyway, but I needed to be home with my family.  I had to see Pops.

The next few hours were a blur.  I hadn't packed anything to go home for the wedding, and I had a LOT to pack.  But I had way less time than I had planned, so I hurriedly gave Colten a list of things we needed for the wedding and prayed that we wouldn't forget anything important.  Then we packed for the funeral.  Have you ever packed for your own wedding and a family member's funeral at the same time?  I didn't know what to feel or how to feel it.  I wanted to be excited for my upcoming nuptials, but Granny had just died.  My wedding didn't seem to matter much.  We packed up, grabbed the dog, and headed home.  Colten, bless his heart, got me home as fast as he could - we even encountered the sheriff for speeding, but were let go with just a warning.  It was an emergency.  I had to get home.  Upon arriving at my parents' house, there were no words.  One look was all it took and I was in my mom and dad's arms crying.  We stood on the porch for a bit to gain our composure since Pops was in the living room on the other side of the door.  Was he okay?  Well, of course not!  How could he be okay?  I had to see him, but I had to allow myself to gain some kind of composure before going inside to give him a hug.  While on the porch, my cousin arrived at the house.  We were all hurting in the same way, and we all had the same questions, but there was nothing to say or do in that moment.  We just all stood on the porch looking around like zombies with tears in our eyes.  We obviously had not accepted and could not believe what had happened earlier in the day.  But after a little while, I couldn't take it anymore.  I went inside and lost it all over again upon hugging my grandpa and seeing how much physical and emotional pain he was in and would be in for some time.  I don't remember who else was at the house at that time - the number of visitors that week were countless, but I know who all showed up, just not 'when' they showed up.  It was a long night, but we somehow survived.  Plans needed to be made for Granny's funeral, and it couldn't wait.

Throughout that day and the next, it didn't occur to me to cancel the wedding for now and reschedule for another time - to be honest, my wedding wasn't on my mind at all.  Memories of Granny flashed through my head, and I couldn't get past the pain I saw in my grandpa at every second.  So, plans were made, and we held the rosary on Wednesday evening.  So many people showed up to support us and to give their condolences for our loss.  Pops did astounding.  He made it through the entire thing, and held up better than I honestly thought he would.  I caught myself a few times feeling guilty because, at times throughout the rosary/wake (before the actual praying of the rosary began), my siblings, cousins, and I would laugh about a memory or two (or ten, haha), that we would think of that was our childhood growing up with my grandparents so involved.  And those memories are countless.  But I knew that she would be happy that we were remembering the good times and that she had touched our lives in such a way that we would never forget.  The next day was the funeral.

I agreed to do a reading at the funeral, but I didn't realize just how hard it was going to be to stand up in front of a packed church with my grandmother's body in the coffin right in front of the pulpit.  It was hard.  I wanted to read God's word and make her proud, but I couldn't stop crying long enough to do so.  Somehow, I found my composure and was able to hold the tears back long enough to deliver God's word and make it back to my seat.  After the funeral, we headed out to the cemetery.  Were we really about to bury my Granny?  My Granny??? Less than a week after I had seen her?  Yes.  That's exactly what we did. We laid my grandmother to rest just two days before what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life - my wedding day.  But again, that's not where my mind was.  I couldn't, and refused to, be selfish.  I needed to grieve.  We all did.  But my parents wouldn't let me. They shifted the focus of the rest of that day to wedding plans.  I still had to pick up my dress from Moulton from getting it cleaned and steamed.  We still needed to buy the fruit for the snack tables.  We still needed to get a trailer to get everything to the reception place.  We still needed a miracle.

Well, we received miracle after miracle - in the form of family and friends.  Amazing family and friends.  So many people played such a huge role in making my wedding day so memorable and go so smoothly.  Family from out of town (that I don't see very often, but know well enough) offered to take me to pick up my dress, so I accepted.  That same family drove to Victoria to hit up Sams to purchase all of the strawberries and grapes for the snack tables so we would have fresh fruit.  That family is amazing and their help will never be forgotten!  Family closer by stayed around and helped organize decorations and things that needed to be at certain places at certain times.  The next day, Friday, was the day to decorate the hall and have the rehearsal at the church.  That day was a blur!  We had so much help decorating, I'm still truly touched by everyone who extended a hand during this time to make sure that my wedding was about mine and Colten's love for each other, and the true meaning of love and family. My aunt and uncle even brought Pops by the hall for a bit to get him out of the house.  It was so good to see him out and about, even if he wasn't enjoying himself and didn't want to be there.  Who was I to blame him?  He buried his wife the day before.  I'm sure the last thing on his list of things he wanted to do was to attend a wedding in which he would be reminded of his loss.  But he continued to tell everyone that he would go to our wedding, but after that, he didn't know what was going to happen or what he would do.  I was just ecstatic that he wanted to be there for us on Saturday.  So, we decorated the hall and did what we could in the amount of time we had, which was a lot!  We successfully decorated the place to be country chic-ish.  Which is exactly what we wanted.  I couldn't have been happier with the result of that.  Then, it was on to rehearsal.  I didn't have a single minute that day to grieve for Granny.  I bottled it up deep inside of me and keeping pushing forward.  We successfully attended rehearsal, ate, and went home.  That night consisted of a lot of hurt feelings, grieving family members, and a fight between me and my sister.  But we got everything out in the open, made up, and looked forward to the next day.  Not exactly how I saw the night before my wedding day going, but it's okay.  Nothing that week was what I had anticipated.  So, why not?

Then it was my wedding day.  I got my hair done, hung out with the girls getting ready, and then I put on my dress.  I felt beautiful.  I felt amazing.  I felt a giant-sized hole in my chest because I knew my grandma wouldn't physically be there and my grandpa would have to endure being there without her.  Of course, with every wedding, there were some glitches, but I didn't care.  So what if one of my groomsmen had a different color vest than the rest?  Oh well.  So what if one of my bridesmaids left her shoes in another town?  Oh well.  So what if the bridesmaids decided to take scissors to their dresses just mere hours before the ceremony (okay, this was actually hilarious!)?  Oh well.  So what if my husband was intoxicated at our reception? Oh well.  My wedding day was beautiful and absolutely amazing, but it wasn't exactly as I had imagined.  It was BETTER!  Due to everything that had happened that week, my focus on my own wedding changed.  The small stuff didn't matter - I didn't care if Mark's vest was a different color.  I didn't care that part of my dress ripped during the reception.  I didn't care, it didn't matter, and we all had a great time!  Instead, the focus was on family and friends that showed up to help us celebrate our love.  The focus was on every single hand that helped make that day be such a magical dream come true.  The focus was on the meaning of that day, not the little things.  My heart was overflowing with love and support from every person in the room - and I knew my grandmother was there in spirit.  It didn't make the pain any easier, but I managed.

The next week was our honeymoon - and I couldn't have asked for a better location.  We went to Rockport to the Rodgers' beach house.  It was quiet, relaxing, AWAY from everything the previous week had put me through.  It was a break.  A break that allowed me to break down.  A break that allowed me time alone with my husband to begin healing.  A break away from the 'it's okay', the 'I'm sorry for your loss', and the 'she was here in spirit'.  It was a great break.  And my husband was there with me every step of the way.  He held me when I cried, he gave me space when I asked, and he was okay doing whatever we wanted to do whenever we wanted to do it.  Nothing was planned that week, and we went with the flow.  It was amazing.

So, I was a married woman!  And within a month, I had completed my last college class to obtain my Paralegal degree.  So then I was a college graduate as well!  Whew!  Then came the holidays and the stress of trying to figure out where to go when and who was where and when we'd leave and when we'd come back and so on and so forth.  It's hard to please everyone!!  But we survived.  The following months were countless job applications and sending resumes.  Then, the day came that I received an email from my old boss from the internship.  She had a position available if I was still interested.  Boy, was I!  I applied (after a very long night of editing my writing sample with my siblings and Splosion Man), and I scheduled an interview.  I remember leaving the interview in tears.  I mean TEARS!  I was so frustrated with the job hunting process and I wasn't happy full-time at my current job.  I was a mess.  Then, I began to fully allow myself to grieve - which lasted over a period of MANY months, and I'm still grieving, to this day.  I kept it bottled inside for so long, that it has taken a while to let it consume me.  Today, I'm still gripped with the raw emotion that consumed me a year ago upon receiving the devastating news.  But then the call came.  I GOT THE JOB, if I wanted it.  Umm, yes please!  I immediately told my boss at the current job at the time that I would need to change my availability because orientation for my new job started the following Monday.  Talk about a whirlwind!

In just one year, my grandmother had died tragically, my grandpa went through something I wouldn't wish upon anyone - losing their wife and best friend of soooooo many years, I got married, I graduated college, and I got a job with my degree.  In just one year, I'm a different person.  In just one year, I am utterly and considerably blessed beyond words for my job, my family, my husband, my faith, my life.  I don't take one minute for granted, and I definitely cherish every minute I get to spend with every person that I love in my life.  It may not be as often as I'd like, but the time I do get with them, I am thankful and very grateful.  In just one year, I've been hit by heartache, joy, utter sadness, desperation, happiness, low self-confidence, depression, amazing self-confidence, love, and so many other feelings.  I'm scarred, but it makes me stronger.  Going forward, I know that life is never going to be the same, but it was never meant to stay the same.  It has its ups and downs, and I experienced both and then some in a short amount of time.  Every wedding anniversary, I will be reminded of the tragedy that struck my family that Monday afternoon, but every wedding anniversary, I will also be reminded of the love and support that gives life meaning.  I will be reminded that I am loved for who I am and I have such an amazing support system.  I will be reminded of the reason for living.  I will be reminded to cherish every moment that we are blessed with to be with those we love.


In just one year, my life has completely changed.