Thankful Tree: {DiY}

Yes, you read that title right. I'm about to explain a diy project I did, which means I got crafty, y'all! It was great :).  And now the craftiness is gone for a while...again. Oh well. I sure did love this craft, though!

I'm continuing in all of the thankfulness from November - my cup overfloweth. Seriously. So, what better way than to show you all my November thankful project?!

The initial search for this project was unbelievable because there are literally SO MANY different ways you can create your special tree! Seriously, go google 'thankful tree diy' and there are tons of different variations! So, get creative! And if you lack creativity like myself, head on over to Crafts Unleashed for the version I stuck pretty closely to. While I didn't veer off too much from this tutorial, I did have to get creative {so to speak} with a few parts. Here's the lo-down on the thankful tree diy.

What you'll need:
+ twigs/branches
+ paper mache box
+ masking tape
+ casting plaster
+ green moss
+ silk fall leaves
+ fun decorations and embellishments

Not too bad, huh? I found all of these {besides the branches and silk leaves} at Hobby Lobby! No surprise there! The branches came from our apartment complex - straight from nature! And, the silk fall leaves I actually found at Dollar Tree. SCORE! Crafts Unleashed has options to buy from their site as well, but I was too impatient to wait for the stuff to get to me! So, Hobby Lobby and Dollar Tree it was. Definitely my go-to's! I'm not ashamed.

Directions: {I'm not going to into deep, thorough details here because you can find them very specific at Crafts Unleashed! I didn't sway [much], I swear!}

Collect branches and tape together in the pattern that you like the best.

Mix the casting plaster {yes, I actually used casting plaster - the stuff is cheap!}

Add the plaster to the paper mache box. Then, immediately add your branches! {I also included a giant, sparkly flower to my project, so I added that at this time as well.} The very crafty Shaunte over at Crafts Unleashed propped hers up with a photo easel and a clip. I, however, just held it for a few minutes until it started setting. It worked just fine, as I was pretty distracted by the tv show I was watching at the time. Thank you, Castle!

Now, cover the base of the tree so the plaster and tape don't show! You can use the green moss for this; however, my hot glue did not hold at all for this part, so I had to sort of wing it!  I got enough of it to stick, but it was a hassle.

Then, I followed the creative advice of Shaunte, once again, and used mini clothespins to add the cuteness to my tree! Seriously! Use the clothespins to add the leaves and other embellishments to your tree. It's also a way to change up the tree for the different seasons! I'm on the hunt for some cute snowflakes for Christmas!

I also got Colten to join in on the fun {I won't lie - he also helped me with the plaster part; I didn't want to make a 'huge' mess! Also, he searched for tree branches. That's true love right there!}. He wrote what he was thankful for on one of the tags, as did I! They add such a cute and personal touch to this project! I love it!

Then, decorate the bottom of the tree however you'd like! I added a mini chalkboard rectangle so that I can change out what it says for each season. For my thankful tree, though, it says "So thankful...". I also hot-glued some ribbon to the base of the paper mache box {which is actually the lid}! Country chic for sure! Well, to me anyway! :)

This project was pretty inexpensive and so much fun! It defniitely added some fall spirit to our home!

 

   

{Thanksgiving}

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

It's here, it's here! It's the day that families all over the world get together to celebrate turkey day!

I'm praying you all have a fabulous day with food, friends, family, love, food, laughs, food, food...did I mention food? I'm super excited for some deep fried turkeys today! 

Gobble, gobble!  

  Remember, on this day and every day, to be thankful for all of the blessings that have been bestowed upon your life. I know I am! It's key to be grateful for specific things all throughout the year, but I just love how prominent thankfulness is on this day! Hope y'all have a blessed Thanksgiving!

So {Thankful}

So, last week I did so great blogging every.single.day! This week, not so much! The weekend just got away from me, and I've been super busy ever since. Plus, I'm not feeling so great, so I'm trying to rest up so I feel 100% for the rest of this holiday week! Can y'all believe Thanksgiving is only two days away?! And Sunday, it'll be DECEMBER! Holy WOW!

 

So, with Thanksgiving being so close ... I decided to write about things I've been thankful for lately. Just something to boost my spirits and help remind me of the greatness while I'm not feeling so great.

 

 

+ my family. Seriously, I can never say enough just how much my family means to me! We support each other 110% through thick and thin, and I absolutely adore my family!

 

+ my husband. He's so amazing and I'm forever thankful to be his wife! He's been so patient and understanding these past few days while I haven't been feeling like myself.

 

+ cold weather! It's no surprise that I absolutely love cold weather, and it hasn't been disappointing this week! It's been in the 30's all week, and I'm in love!

 

+ my health. Although I haven't been feeling the greatest these past few days, I'm so thankful I don't have any major health issues and that I'm generally pretty healthy. 

 

+ scarves. I've had a recent scarf obsession and I'm just loving my monogrammed scarf from Caitlin!

 

+ bloggy friendships. Non-bloggers just don't get it. "You actually talk to complete strangers about your life? Like, serious in-depth life stuff?"  Nope, I don't. Blog friends aren't strangers! You tell so much about yourself in the blog world and really open up, so fellow bloggers definitely aren't strangers! They're friends. And sometimes they know more about me than real-life friends. Sometimes.

 

+ three day work weeks. They're the best! And tomorrow isn't even a full day - we're out at noon!

 

+ unanswered prayers. I know it's cliche, but it's so true! If all of my prayers were answered the way I wanted them to be, I wouldn't be where I am today and be experiencing my life the way that I am. I'm so thankful that God has a plan for my life and I'm not completely in control! Amen!

 

+ Christmas decorations! I put up our Christmas tree last Friday, and my mood was lifted instantly! I just love the ambience from the lights and how comfortable it is with the heater running, cold weather outside, and Christmas decorations scattered throughout the house. Perfection I tell ya!

 

+ Ace. Seriously, our doggy has given me so much joy since we first got him several years ago. He's not a little puppy anymore, though! *sigh* Just this morning, he was loving on me and cuddling with me - I didn't want to leave the house! He just makes me smile when sometimes all I want to do is cry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

{No·vem·ber}

Welcome, November! Boy, how I've waited such a long time for your arrival! And, here we are! FINALLY!

 

 

It's no surprise that this is my favorite time of year. I just absolutely love the holidays! It's the crisp, cool weather, the smell of pumpkin/cinnamon everywhere, bundling up in oversized sweaters and blankets, how families come together and spend lots of quality time together this time of year, CHRISTMAS is on the horizon, people seem genuinely happier this time of year, and so.much.more! Seriously, I'm in love with this time of the year. Seriously! {thank you Grey's Anatomy for my addiction to overusing the word seriously}

 

And, it's no surprise that this month is all about being thankful. It is the month of Thanksgiving after all! My goal this month is to truly be thankful and to show my thankfulness for the people in my life and all that they do to love me, support me, and genuinely care about me. My goal is to make them feel my thankfulness! It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of modern-day society, working, driving, house chores, phone calls, kids, and just the every day busy routine, that we sometimes {okay, oftentimes} forget to be thankful for our blessings. As 'being thankful' is drilled into focus this month, I vow to truly take the opportunity to make the most of it! Instead of feeling sorry for myself for having to go to job #2, I will instead be thankful that I am physically and mentally able to work two jobs. Instead of being so frustrated with a dirty house, I will instead be thankful that I have a roof over my head and 'stuff' to fill it. Look at your situations differently this month and see if that causes a change in your attitude, in your routines, and in your hearts.

 

So, here's to an amazing month filled with all things fall, and I'm praying that we will be graced with cooler weather! It's been in the high 80's recently, and I just refuse to accept that that's the best we're going to get...seriously! Bring on the sweater weather!

 

And remember, soak up every minute with your loved ones, whether they are annoying as hell and getting on your last nerve or refusing to make you a priority - realize that we are not guaranteed the things we are blessed with in this lifetime, and all of it can be taken in a single moment. So much tragedy has been in the lives of my family, friends, and loved ones recently, and it's a good reminder to enjoy the moments that we have left with those we love. This thankful November is the perfect opportunity to overlook the petty drama that is everyday life {seriously, get over the $2.00 that your co-worker owes you and move on!} and be thankful for what you do have. Don't overlook the treasured moments that happen every single day, because someone out there no longer has those moments with their loved ones. This November, be thankful. Snuggle up with your family and make memories. Take lots of pictures and be crazy - it's okay! And you'll be so glad you did. :) 

 

Government Shutdown 2013

 

There has been so much drama and craziness surrounding the current shutdown of our government. I, for one, am no political genius or political anything for that matter. I know enough to understand the current events {well, most of them anyway} in our society and I move on with my life. And honestly, the only reason that I know as much as I do about this whole 'government shutdown' thing is because I work for the government. Consider this my disclaimer. :)

First of all, it's been 17 years since the federal government last faced a partial shutdown because Congress and the President couldn't agree on a spending bill. Basically, Congress must pass laws to spend money. If Congress can't agree on a spending bill {or if the President vetoes it}, the government does not have the legal authority to spend money. Not okay. The current shutdown revolves around this: the Republican-controlled House has passed a spending bill that maintains spending levels but does not provide funding to implement the Affordable Care Act, or Obamacare. The Democratic Senate insists that the program be fully funded and that Congress pass what they call a 'clean' CR (continuing resolution). 

And now, a little history of government shutdowns. Usually, shutdowns last no more than three days, with some even lasting less than a day. There have been 17 government shutdowns since 1977, per the Congressional Research Service. The longest shutdown was also the most recent: from December 16, 1995 through January 5, 1996 - 21 days. So far this time, we're on day 3.

Now, how does that affect us? Well, let's take a look. National Parks and monuments are shut down - yep, that includes Yosemite, the Smithsonian, the Statue of Liberty, and Holocaust Museum. Tax returns would possibly be delayed, especially if you file a paper return. The IRS will suspend all audit activities. The WIC program will take a hit - no money will be available to pay the administrative costs of the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children. The National Institutes of Health will not be able to accept new patients or begin clinical tests. New gun permits won't be processed. Call centers, hotlines and regional offices that help veterans understand their benefits close. New applications for small business loans and loan guarantees will be immediately halted. Hundreds of thousands of Federal employees including many charged with protecting us from terrorist threats, defending our borders, inspecting our food, and keeping our skies safe will work without pay until the shutdown ends. And hundreds of thousands of additional Federal workers will be furloughed without pay - it just depends.

So, what's not affected? Well, social security beneficiaries will continue receiving checks. The U.S. Postal Service will continue delivering mail. Active military continue serving. Air traffic controllers, prison guards, and border patrol agents will remain on the job. NASA Mission Control will continue supporting astronauts serving on the Space Station. The majority of Homeland Security will stay on the job. The President's $400,000 salary is mandatory spending, so he will be paid.

Want a more specific list? Check out CNN's article on What's closed, what's open? 

This morning, my coworker talked about some reports her friend saw on the news regarding children being turned away from Cancer centers and having to perform certain medical procedures from home. Sickening.

I believe part of the importance of this situation is really understanding it! I have done so much research and talked to attorneys and higher-ups this week regarding all of this that it's unreal! It's taken over. And God only knows how long it will last. So, education is key!

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But with all of that going on, today, I am thankful.

I'm thankful that I still have a job to go to. In fact, I have two. Yes, I work for the state, but I am not furloughed. I continue to go to work every morning knowing I will get paid as usual. For that, I am thankful.

I'm thankful that I do not have any serious medical problems that are affected by this shutdown. And I pray for all of those out there that do. I cannot even begin to imagine how stressful, frustrating, and miserable it must be to figure this all out. Who is open? What benefits will you continue receiving? Will you have to figure out an alternative to something? God bless the men and women out there struggling with this new 'normal', however long it lasts.

I'm also thankful for a wonderful, loving family. I've lent an ear and shoulder to cry on recently to more than one person struggling with family issues {completely unrelated to the shutdown, but still}. It reminds me that I am blessed with amazing, supportive parents and quirky, loving, caring siblings. We have and will continue to go out of our way to help each other, even if we're getting on each other's nerves. The petty fights are nothing. We have love. And we show love. And we are blessed. For that, I am grateful. Every single day, I thank God for his mercy and blessings bestowed upon my family.

I'm thankful for the opportunity that I have to assist victims of violent crime. No, we cannot help everyone, and yes, I get yelled at daily by victims and grieving loved ones, but it's worth it. It's not easy, but every time that I tell the victim or grieving loved one that we will be able to help them financially with the evil that has burdened their life, hearing the tears of joy and unending thanks that has hit their hearts, it makes it all worthwhile. The good outweighs the bad. We do help. We do good. For that, I am so thankful.

I am most importantly thankful to God for my faith. I know that I am saved and that I serve an awesome God. In good times and in bad, I know that it is His will and His plan. That faith continues to grow each and every day, and for that, I am thankful. I am thankful for all that He has given me, for I know that I am undeserving. I am a sinner. But He forgives me for what I have done. He knows the path that lies ahead for me, and having unwavering faith in Him and in His plan for my life, whatever purpose He has me here for, it leaves me with peace. Peace in knowing Him and serving Him. I know from experience that life is not easy. And this government shutdown is another example for those that are affected by it. God never said life would be easy, but He did say it would be worth it!  For that, I am forever thankful.

So, I challenge you. Today, be thankful. Even if it seems the world is crashing down upon you and you carry the weight of it on your shoulders, find something to be thankful for. Let go of the festering anger and hatred and resentfulness that you carry for whatever it may be, and just be thankful. We need a little happiness to go along with the doom and gloom of this shutdown. No, we don't know what lies ahead for our country. But in the face of it all, give thanks for the blessings in your life.

 

I'm tired.

I'm tired. More than that, I'm exhausted, and my body hates me right now.   

 

While I've seen so many people enjoying vacation after vacation and really living it up this summer, I've been working.  And not just your average, "this is the real, adult world and I have a job to be at every single day" kind of working. Nope. It's much, much more than that. 

 

It's working two jobs PLUS overtime all.summer.long kind of working. 

 

 

Here's what my average day looks like:

-Wake up at 4:00am

-Get ready for work

-Arrive at work at 6:00am

-WORK

-Get off work at 4:30pm (that's right, 10 hours [at least] EVERY DAY)

-Drive to second job

-Clock in at 5:00pm

-WORK

-Get off work at 9:00pm

-Arrive at home at 9:30pm

-Make/eat supper (all depends on the husband's work schedule)

-Shower

-Entertain the dog so he has some kind of stimulation for the day

-Blog (in all of my spare time)

-Spend about 5 minutes with husband once he gets home from work (usually around 10 or so)

-Go to sleep at 11:00pm

 

This happens every day, unless I specifically request off from job #2 or work 12 1/2 hours in one day for overtime instead of 10 1/2, etc.

 

And the weekends...well, let's see.  Saturday, I'm at work by 7:30 or 8 (depending on IT maintenance hours) and work until noon.  And for the past 11 weeks, I haven't really had time for myself - it's always going here or there or everywhere with things to do and people to see.  No wonder I'm worn out! Sheesh!  I look forward to the weekend in which I can literally spend in my pajamas, sleeping in late, and watching movies all day.  *sigh*

 

And to top it off, there are other responsibilities and commitments that I have to stay on top of...or try to at least.  I know that so many things are lacking in my life right now and not getting the right amount of attention that's truly needed, but I can't help it! I'm tired. Not to complain or anything...

 

Thank God for Colten.  Seriously, that man is nothing short of amazing! We have our ups and downs, sure! Every couple does. But without him, there's seriously no way I would be making it through this long summer! He picks up so much of the homelife duties, it's ridiculous. He vacuums, sweeps, cleans, does dishes, laundry, takes care of the dog, keeps up with our financial budget, listens to my nagging about my day, holds me when I'm upset ... and all on top of working full time and attending school full time! He's pretty much my superman ;). I am so unbelievably blessed to be his wife and to fully have his support. He's constantly telling me to take it easy every now and then and not earn every hour of overtime possible - yeah right! I then explain why it's necessary, and he gives me a giant hug and tells me that he loves me, on top of thanking me for all of the extra effort and hard work I'm putting in to earn every extra dollar that I can. 

 

Okay, to explain a little further, overtime at the OAG is not something that comes along very often. In fact, this is the first time it's been offered in well over ten years. TEN YEARS, y'all! How can I not take full advantage of that?! Let me tell you. I can't. Simple as that! It's been available since mid-May and will continue through the month of August (the end of the fiscal year). So I've literally worked the entire summer, including overtime - about 70-hour weeks! But, it's only one more month, so I've got to kick it in gear, find some energy from somewhere, and push through this last month.  And for those that don't know, in order to earn overtime, you've got to work the regular 40 hour work week (rocket science, I know!), so that means you cannot call in sick or take a day of vacation in order to earn the overtime. That's right, we've been going to work sick.  But not super sick...thank goodness we've held off on that!

 

But in all of the long hours, stressful days, overwhelming feelings, and tears, I am blessed. I am so eternally grateful that this opportunity has presented itself. As a newlywed couple, we still struggle to make ends meet. Colten is still in school until the end of the year and we've got loans coming out of our ears! But seriously, money is tight. And in our moment of need, God provided a way for me to earn extra income! God is oh so good! Nevermind the exhaustion and burning want to just sleep an extra hour or two - there's money to be made! It's truly amazing what you can do if you put your mind to it. I perform on very little sleep each and every day [for the past 3 months] and I've survived. Yep, I'm still alive! (Hallelujah!) And just when I'm ready to say "enough is enough", I get to earn extra income for my family for another month! Praise God!

 

Along this journey, I've increased our income, leaned on my husband for support and was not disappointed in the least, celebrated triumphs with my family, laughed, loved, made new friendships, and furthered other friendships. Basically, I'm living life! And I couldn't be happier! Well, a few hours of sleep here and there and I'd be ECSTATIC! ;)

 

So, I'm tired. So what? Tired is temporary. Glory is forever! And I'm giving all the glory to God, the most deserving of it all. It's because of Him that I am able to accomplish the feats that I have.  It's because of Him that I'm able to get out of bed each and every day to face a new challenge and overcome obstacles.  It's because of Him that I have such an amazing support system that I can turn to no matter what. It's because of Him that my life is amazing and I am able to truly be thankful for it all.

 

How have you spent your summer? Are you ready for fall? I AM! :)

 

Lover, Lover

First of all, thank goodness it's Friday! Second of all, it's been a long, rough week! But no matter how rough it is or how long it is, this man is always there for me and makes me feel better all.the.time.  

  Seriously, I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for my husband.  He knows me so well (although, I'd hope so!) and always seems to have the exact right thing to say.  Okay, well maybe not 'always', but the majority of the time, he does.  And really, all I need at the end of a stressful day or in the middle of a total freak out is a hug from my husband.  His embrace says so much without any words.  It reminds me that he's there for me, no matter what, and that for better or for worse, he loves me.    He knows exactly when I just need some space or time to myself to just think and cool down.  He knows exactly when to keep pushing his luck by not accepting my "I'm fine, really" excuses.  Being his wife has made me a better person and a better friend.  I thank God every day for blessing me with such an amazing husband.  Life is hard, but with him by my side and his love everpresent, I know that it's worth it.  I know that the better days will outshine the bad days.    --------------------------------------------------------------------   Colten,   I don't know if you'll read this (reading just isn't his thing, y'all!), but I just want you to know (although you already do) that I love you.  I know I don't say it enough, but thank you for all that you do for our family.  You've sacrificed, loved unconditionally, and have grown with me through these past few years, and I will be eternally grateful.  Without you, I would not be as strong, caring, or loving.  You are my rock, and you are my light on the darkest of days.    Thank you, my love.  You never doubt me or bring me down.  I know that I'm difficult to deal with sometimes (or most of the time...), but you stick by me anyway.  You accept all of my flaws and choose to love me despite them.  You are such a strong and caring man, and words cannot even begin to express my gratitude or love for you.  I know that we have a bright and exciting future ahead, and I can't wait to share each and every day with you.    I love you!     

   

Poolside Graduation & Rock Band!

Hello beautiful people!    Or, as we say in Texas:   HEY Y'ALL!   I hope everyone is having a fabulous Monday, as I am not.  But, it's Monday so I didn't really expect greatness.  However, my weekend was pretty awesome, so sharing that will definitely brighten my gloomy Monday blues!  It's worth a shot, at least.   

Okay, so to clarify... The graduation was NOT poolside, and the rock band was in our living room...on the television... :).      Friday was my husband's college graduation!  It was so unbelievably exciting, as it's been a long journey with much struggling (a full, detailed post to come later this week!).  He got to put on his cap & gown and walk the stage in front of friends and family, and he was so proud.  The man couldn't sleep a wink the night before!  Too cute, but shhhh! Don't tell him I said that ;).  He still has a few credit hours left until he's officially done, but he's well on his way and we can see the light at the end of the tunnel!  After graduation, we headed to his all-time favorite restaurant, Olive Garden.  And yes, the man downed 5 salads and a pizza.  *jaw drops*   Saturday was a lazy morning, which I am ever so greatful for!  I spent Friday night at my sister's apartment with her and my mom, so we enjoyed a peaceful morning with spaghetti for breakfast (that's what happens when the hostess works night shift and eats dinner at 8am instead of breakfast) and indulging in a few episodes of The Client List.  Okay, why on earth haven't I thought to watch the show yet?!  Definitely a guilty pleasure, and I will attempt to watch the first season on Netflix, if it exists there yet.  Fingers crossed!  After that, we headed out for a day poolside!  Husband and his friend BBQ'd some hot dogs, which were delicious!  And let me just say how amazingly awesome it is to have your apartment so close to the pool - the guys had to go back several times (to get condiments, etc. without them melting in the Texas sun) and it was NO BIG DEAL!  Bliss!  My friend, Kristy, showed up and we had a great time just relaxing with some drinks under the cabana umbrella.  Our pool is seriously badass.  Just sayin'! ;)  And the night ended with a glass of wine (also brought by my girl, Kristy - THANK YOU if you're reading this!) and rockband with the husband and his friend, Kyle.  It was a pretty amazing Saturday, of which I hadn't had in quite a while. SO THANKFUL for this weekend!   Sunday was another LAZY day as I slept a LOT.  Hey, the six hours in the sun the day before wiped me out!  I forgot how exhausting the heat can be, but it was well worth it.  And the sleep was fabulous!  After rolling out of bed late, we played more rock band (the guys had gone and bought Rock Band 3, so new things awaited).  And that about sums up my Sunday!  Of course, the things that needed to get done didn't get done, but that's just the way things go sometimes (or, ALL the time...).    In all, it was a great weekend, and I'm so blessed to have such amazing friends and family!    And, as always, I'm linking up with Sami's Shenanigans!  

All gave some. Some gave {ALL}.

Today is Memorial Day.    A day to honor all those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice in ensuring our freedom.    Today, we honor those that have died in the line of duty to protect our nation from all enemies.   

  Today is not just a day to party and BBQ.  Today is not just the last day of a three-day weekend.   Today is a day that so many families: sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, friends, remember their loved ones who died serving this nation.    Instead of shopping for the Memorial Day sales or BBQ'ing by the pool, take a few moments out of whatever you're doing to pray for those that have paid the sacrifice and for their grieving families.   

  Do not let those fallen heroes down.  Don't take your freedom for granted, because they didn't.  Instead, honor them.  Life your life to its fullest, take those chances that scare you to death, and give thanks for every single soldier that has laid down his or her life to protect YOUR freedom, to protect YOUR dreams and goals.   

  Those fallen men and women sacrificed their lives so that we, yes YOU and ME, could be FREE! So, this Memorial Day, remember what the day is truly about.  Remember that in order for you to have the opportunity to be with friends and family today, many lives were lost.   

{Positivity} = Results!

I woke up this morning (after sleeping in late, which was GLORIOUS) with the mindset to be productive today.  This is usually a difficult task for me, as I love to indulge in my days off by relaxing and, let's face it, being lazy!     I was worried about just how productive I would be, but I decided to tackle the dishes.  They have been piling up lately, and I feel so much better in a clean house than a messy one, so then it began!  I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, and I hand washed the rest, all while Colten went to buy eggs so we could make breakfast before he headed off to work for the day.  Let me tell you, it was great to both be in the kitchen together!  It's so much easier and 'fun' to be productive than having to be doing things by yourself.   And the end result is CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN! :)  I'm a very happy wife.

I also tackled updating our financial spreadsheet!  Colten had been worried, as we splurged a little for date night last night...  But, I took care of it, we know we're fine with our finances, and all is great in the world!  
It's amazing how you feel after being productive, even if it's only for a few hours!  Knowing that I tackled those things this morning really has changed my outlook on the day! I'm going to spend some time with our pup while Colten's at work until late tonight, take some time for myself to read and watch a few movies, cook supper, do some laundry, and be perfectly happy that I've been blessed with a happy home, an amazing husband, great family, food for our nourishment, money in the bank, and a glorious day to bask in the sunshine.  God is good.  
I know this is short, but I love to dwell on the great days as well as the negative days.  It's so easy to fall into the negative circumstances that are all just a part of life.  I'm making a point to bask in the great days, even if nothing super amazing happens.  Today is one of those days.  I have nothing 'major' planned or any company coming, but I'm thoroughly excited to spend today by myself with our dog and have some 'me' time.  I think I deserve it ;). 
Have a splendidly blessed weekend, everyone! ♥

What a {Rude Awakening}

So, a few days ago I was browsing through a lot of my old pictures and decided to join in on the 'throwback thursday' fad that's been going around on Instagram.  I chose one from our honeymoon over a year ago, because that was such a great time to just spend with my new husband without any of the drama or anyone around to tell us what we need to do or what we were doing wrong.  As many of you know if you've been reading my blog, it was a hard time for me and my family.     But then, I happened upon this picture: 

  The memories came flooding back: fear, blood, burnt metal, the sounds, birds, hysteria, my brother, shattered glass, and quite possibly the worst moment in my entire life - the moment I realized 
I had killed my little brother.       Eight years ago TODAY, I was driving to school with my brother, as I had many mornings before.  We lived in the country, so it was a little drive to get into town.  It was the same route to school that I had taken every morning, so it wasn't any different in that respect, but that morning changed my life forever.       We were crossing a small bridge that was in the middle of a wooded area - a small ravine-type thing is under the bridge...it's not a super-long drop, but it was far enough.  Also, there was no water in it - just sand.  It's hard to explain so just go with it.  So, I was crossing that bridge, and out from the trees flew a buzzard.  Yes, a buzzard.  It was a GIANT buzzard.  I don't know for sure that it was a buzzard, as I'm not a bird expert, but it was a rather large bird.  Regardless, it was coming straight for us.  To be exact, it was coming straight towards the passenger side window, which is where my brother was.  In my mind, I knew that I could not allow it to hit, as it would break the window and quite possibly severely injure my brother and quite possibly myself.  Little did I know how ironic that would be now.     I swerved, towards the later half of the bridge, to avoid hitting the bird, but I also had to swerve the truck in such a way that I would not cause us to land at the bottom of the ravine.  We wouldn't survive that kind of crash.     Keep in mind that all of this happened in about 2 seconds at most.  I felt like it was about half an hour that I had to decide what to do and process what was happening, but it obviously wasn't that long.  I ended up over-correcting, causing the truck to spin and slam into a pipe entrance.  The human brain is an amazing thing, as I do not recall the actual impact, nor do I recall any pain at all on my part, other than the pain in my heart as I regained consciousness after only a few seconds (I assume), looked over to check on my brother, and saw that he was slumped over with his head hanging down and blood coming from his nose and ears - completely not moving.  It was at that moment that my brain went to the obvious: he was dead.  I couldn't bring myself to touch him, but I began screaming his name and begging him to please wake up!  I couldn't believe it was happening ... I knew it had to just be a terrible dream in which I would soon wake up and everything would be okay.  But it was far from a dream.  It was very much real and very scary.    

 

The truck spun so that the impact of the crash was on my brother's side of the truck.  His door was completely crushed in and it was terrible.  The back windshield was completely shattered, and we uprooted several of the posts holding the pipe entrance together.  So many factors played a key role in how the events of that day unfolded, one very important one being that it had recently rained quite a bit, which doesn't happen too often around there.  Therefore, the ground was wet enough for the posts to be uprooted instead of being so dry and them not budging.  It would've been a completely different accident had that happened.  Luckily, God was very much with us that day, and our lives on Earth were not over.  Josh regained consciousness, and my brother was ALIVE.  It was nothing short of a miracle.  Unfortunately, that didn't mean that we would walk away without a scratch or be unharmed at all from the accident.  Since his door was crushed in, I grew frantic as I tried to figure out a way to get him out of the car.  That's all I knew: I had to get him out.  It didn't dawn on me that maybe I should leave him where he is as to not further harm him - I didn't know if he had any injuries or what hurt.  He was in and out of consciousness, so his answers were slurred and not coherent whatsoever.  I just knew that I had to get him out.  That's where my focus went...immediately.  I pulled and pulled, twisted, kicked, did everything in my power to get his door open...and it worked!  I received a large, nasty burn on my arm from this process, but I was able to get the door open enough to get him out of there.  It's amazing what you can do when there's so much adrenaline coursing through your body.  There's no way I would've been able to get that door open otherwise.  It was at that moment that I got the door open that I knew something was still terribly wrong...he just wasn't right.  I carefully got him out of the truck and laid him on the ground, with my backpack as a pillow.  That's when I REALLY saw it - he had a compound fracture to his femur.  I had managed to break the largest and strongest bone in his body.  I hated myself, and did so for a very long time.     I remember that he complained of being terrifyingly cold, so I searched and searched for a blanket.  Normally, I wouldn't have one, but we were scheduled to play a softball game that night, so I had one because I knew it would be cold.   After I had Josh out of the truck and covered as best as I could, I frantically searched for my cell phone, which had been on the console prior to the accident.  It was nowhere to be found.  I looked through so much glass and metal - but I just couldn't find the thing anywhere!  I asked Josh if he knew where his cell phone was prior to the crash.  He never really answered, as he was not completely conscious, as I soon realized, during any of this.  I held up his backpack in his face once when his eyes were open, yelling at him to please listen and if his phone was in the bag.  He said yes, so I ripped through the thing but couldn't find the phone anywhere.  So, neither phone could be found, and the road that this happened on was not a main road with a lot of traffic, so I was totally losing my mind as to how to call for help.  No one was going to find us.     But, someone did drive up, finally, and I ran to the road as fast as I could to ask for a cell phone or for him to call for help.  It was only later that I realized who it was that drove up first on the scene.  A little boy and his grandfather were on their way to school - the same family that attended our church - the same little boy that lost his entire family: mother, father, baby brother in a car accident not long ago.  I'm sure it was horrifying to see another scene such as the one that lost him his entire family.  And I hated myself yet again for the events that unfolded that morning.  I was causing that little boy to relive the most painful memory of his short little life.  I was a terrible person.     The man allowed me to use his cell phone, and it was at that point that I realized I was bleeding - I had no idea where it was coming from or why there was so much.  Nothing hurt.  But the blood was everywhere.  And it wasn't stopping...  I used his phone and called my dad.  Yes, I called my dad first and not 9-1-1.  I told him that I had an accident and that Josh was hurt but that we were both alive.  I explained where we were and he firmly told me that I had to call for help.  I hung up with my dad, and I don't really remember what happened next.  I don't recall calling 911, so I'm pretty sure the man did that for me, as I couldn't exactly pinpoint the name of the road we were on, even though I KNEW which road it was.  My brain was not functioning as it normally did, so it's understandable.  While I was on the phone, someone else drove up and went straight to my brother behind the truck.  He stayed with him and talked with him, keeping him semi-conscious and not allowing him to fully fall asleep, as we were both pretty sure he had a severe concussion.  The next few moments are also unaccounted for.  I don't recall very much time passing between that phone call and help finally arriving.  All I remember about those moments in between was being next to my brother and completely and totally losing my mind.  He was hurt.  Terribly.  I was somehow hurt, somewhere.  What had I done?  Where was the help?  What was taking them so long?  What was I going to do?  Why did I swerve to miss the stupid bird?  Why did I inflict so much pain to someone that I loved so much?  Of course I didn't do it on purpose, but I hated myself.  I was so mad that it wasn't me that was horribly hurt instead of Josh.  I wanted nothing more than to switch places with him, but I couldn't.     Soon thereafter, an ambulance, fire trucks, and police cars arrived on scene.  Finally!  I was forced to leave my brother and tell the officer exactly what happened.  I believe it was at that point that my grandparents arrived, as they didn't live very far away and wanted to - needed to - be there for us.  And for that, I will be forever grateful.  That was also the day that I saw my grandpa cry and show fear.  Living in a small town, everyone knows who you are and who you're related to.  I'm so thankful for that because someone knew that my grandparents were, in fact, my grandparents and knew them/had their phone number to call them.  My grandpa went to talk to EMS that were with my brother to ascertain what his injuries were, and my grandma stayed with me.  After that, I was forced to be seen my EMS to assess my injuries, of which I very rudely yelled at everyone and anyone that I had none - that I was fine and felt fine.  And when I say forced regarding all of this, it's only because I demanded to be allowed to stay with my brother, by his side, while he was taken care of by medical professionals.  I refused to leave his side, but, like I said, I was forced.  I know now, and knew shortly thereafter that it was for the best, but I was so mad that they made me leave him even for a minute.  But, it was apparent that I was injured, somewhere, and that I had already lost a lot of blood.  I felt like I had been running around like a maniac trying to find phones and then flagging down someone for help.  I hadn't realized that my clothes were completely drenched in blood.  I remember finding that pretty gross. But I was still convinced that I was fine and that I didn't have any injuries.  I was wrong.   EMS placed me in a neck brace, telling me not to move my head anymore, and then strapped me down on a stretcher.  I was livid.  I wouldn't leave Josh.  I yelled and screamed at everyone to please take care him first, but there were enough people to look after us both.  Some time passed, just how much, I'm not sure, but then a helicopter landed in the pasture behind the accident.  My brother was being life flighted to Austin.  Realizing that his injuries were so bad that he had to be life flighted, my hatred toward myself only grew.  It grew and grew, and I prayed.  I prayed that Josh would be okay.  I prayed that this would all soon be over and everything could go back to normal.  But normal didn't come.  Not for a long time.     Josh was life flighted to Brackenridge Hospital in Austin.  No one was allowed to ride with my brother in the helicopter, so my dad and grandpa took off for Austin to be there as soon as possible.  I was taken by ambulance to LaGrange Hospital for my injuries.  My grandma rode with us in the ambulance.  That was the LONGEST ride of my life, and my head was killing me.  I repeatedly asked the paramedic to PLEASE (okay, begged is more like it) look at my head and fix the stupid neck brace.  It felt like my hair was being pulled out of my head with such strong force.  And, my begging was not met with results, because he just repeated that we would be at the hospital soon and that I would be okay.  He was not understanding my obvious state of 'not okay' at that time.  But I was being ridiculous, and he was the professional, and I needed to just wait until I was at the hospital to be assessed by yet more doctors.  But it hurt!     My dad was on the scene as soon as possible after I called him.  He called my cousins and they notified my mom of what had happened that morning.  She worked two hours away and was completely unaware.  My mom left work and met me at the hospital in LaGrange, as did many other people.  It was kind of a blur.  I received several stitches to the back of my head and received wound care for the burn on my arm.  That was it.  That was the extent of my injuries.  The burn came from getting Josh out of the truck, and the head wound came from the back windshield shattering.  The glass cut my head open, and apparently, head wounds bleed.  A lot.  Hence, the large amount of blood everywhere.     After knowing that  I was okay, my mom left for Austin to be with my dad and brother.  My cousins took me to their home in LaGrange and took care of me for a few days.  Grossest thing ever?  Hair covered in blood.  My cousin very graciously helped me take a shower and get as much blood out of my hair as possible.  But I asked about my brother for days.  I wanted to see him.  I had to.  My sister drove in from Corpus Christi and stayed at my cousins' house with me.  I was a mess.  I hated myself and I couldn't think of anything but my brother.  Was he okay?  I had to see him!     The accident occurred on the Friday before Spring Break that year, so there was no school that next week.  However, for some stupid, strange reason, I felt the need to go to the softball game that night.  Obviously, not to play, but to talk to my coaches, and I guess I thought seeing the girls would be helpful.  But it wasn't.  I was in pain - my body ached from the whiplash of the impact.  And I assume someone would've called up to the school to inform admin of what happened.  Anyway, we didn't stay long.  Then, we went home to get some clothes.  I also wanted to see where it happened.  I had to.  The truck had been towed away, but everything else was still there.  I could still see it.  I can still see it today, as I'm reliving it again.  I had nightmares for weeks and weeks.     But, after a few days for my body to settle down and my mind to calm down, which was pretty much impossible, I was finally taken to Austin to see my brother.  But, once I got there, I couldn't go into his room.  I knew that I would see him in so much pain and it was all my fault.  I went in, though, told him that I loved him and that I was so very sorry, and I sat on the other bed in the room.  I couldn't touch him or go near him.  I had hurt him enough already.  It turned out that he not only had a compound fracture of his femur, but he also was cut up on the back of his head from the glass, as I was.  He received staples in his head.  He also had a broken finger and a collapsed lung.  What a great sister I was...    He went through surgery for his leg and had a metal rod put in to align the bones back together.  The next few weeks were tough on everyone.  I apologized a bajillion times to every visitor and every family member.  Not only did I hurt my brother and myself that day, but I also hurt everyone that loved and cared for us.  I know that it's every parent's nightmare to receive a phone call like my dad got that day.  But I couldn't talk about what I was feeling or how I felt.  I told myself that it didn't matter - all that mattered was that my brother was okay.  And he would be, in time.  He had a long road ahead of him as far as recovery, and I did everything in my power to be there for him or to just disappear and not be in the way.     In the end, Josh healed and we've talked about it a few times.  He couldn't go by the accident site for several weeks, and it's totally understandable.  He also didn't want to talk about it or know exactly what happened.  I don't blame him. I blamed myself.  I blamed myself for years, apparently.  I was a sophomore in high school and only 16 years old at the time of my accident.  Years later, as a sophomore in college, I experienced more hardship.  I ultimately sought counseling on campus and was diagnosed with depression and PTSD.  That's right, four years after my accident that day, I was still beating myself up about it and holding myself responsible.  And I wouldn't - I couldn't - talk about it to anyone.  But, counseling seemed to help, and my family was there for me no matter what.  They supported me and repeatedly told me that they didn't blame me - at all.  Most importantly, to me, my brother didn't blame me.  Not even for a second.  His response: "Stupid bird".  He not once questioned why I didn't just let the bird hit the truck.  NOT ONCE.     This taught me two very important life lessons:  1 - Life is short and can be taken from any of us at any moment.  We are not guaranteed tomorrow.   2 - Everything happens for a reason.   Wearing our seat belts saved our lives that day!  Today, both my brother and I are alive and healthy.  We did not suffer serious, life-threatening or altering injuries.  I cherish every single moment that I'm blessed to have with every one of my loved ones, as I don't know when their last day will be, or mine.  I know our time on Earth is limited, and I try to live every to its fullest.  Life is too precious and too short to hold petty grudges or to throw your time away.     Everything that happened that day, although tragic and life-changing, had a purpose.  It showed me that life is fragile and so precious.  It opened my eyes to that fragility and to the importance of family.  It's by and through their support that I'm still here today and as sane as possible.  It was meant to be my brother instead of me - I did all that was humanly possible to help my brother that day, getting him out of the truck.  And he is such a strong person to have gone through the pain and suffering of his injuries.  God knew that he was strong enough to get through it and survive.  It's also brought our family closer together.  Not only was I rudely awakened to life's fragility, but my family was as well.  We are closer than ever, and we don't take a single second for granted.     My faith blossomed after my accident.  I was already a follower of Christ, but it became much more than that after that day, eight years ago.  I began attending the Fellowship of Christian Athletes at school and searched longer and deeper for meaning and answers.  I know that we are both alive today because it was not our time to go.  We were meant for much more than we had accomplished prior to that day, and God proved it by saving us.   To my family, I love each and every one of you.  You are all my rock, as you well know already, and without any of you, I would not be the person that  I am today.  I know this is quite a long story, so if you've made it this far, thanks for hangin' in there! :) ♥

 

Home {Upgrades}

Wow.  Another weekend has come and gone (almost..I do realize it's still Sunday!).  AND, it's March already!  How did that happen?!  Anyway, with another weekend came great things!  With God, all things are possible ♥.

So, Friday afternoon, Colten and I decided to finally go to Office Depot and buy a new computer chair.  He is taking all online classes this quarter and will be spending an insane amount of time on the computer for the next 12ish weeks.  Also, with my blogging taking off, I want to spend way more time on the computer.  However, doing so on a cheap Wal-Mart chair is difficult.  I couldn't stand to sit on that thing for longer than half an hour!  Seriously.  It was time... 

So, we began our journey, as mentioned above, to Office Depot in search for a new chair.  It was definitely entertaining, to say the least.  I love our lives together!  Colten decided to test-drive a few out...

We found one that we agreed upon, but of course, they didn't have any left in stock.  It was also 50% off, so that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day.  We didn't let it ruin our day, and we searched at another store that was closest to us.  Luckily, they had one in stock!  We purchased our new chair and couldn't help but take a look at the desks that were right next to the chairs.  We were still using my very first desk that I had ever bought out of high school...and that thing HAD to go!  It was a sore thumb in our advancing home, and it was time for a change.  We were already upgrading our chair, why not the desk too?  And we had gotten such a good deal on the chair, we were way under budget.  So, we were in search for a new desk.  After hours of deliberating - we had to find the perfect one! - we agreed on a desk, purchased it, and loaded the desk and chair into the bed of the truck.

We got home and began to put the chair together so that I could take care of some things online.  However, to our dismay, there were broken parts included in the pieces, and it wasn't going to suffice.  Colten immediately called the store, we boxed the chair pieces back up, scanned through the desk pieces to be sure they were all there and unbroken, and headed back to the store, 30 minutes away at 7:00pm.  Our journey began at 12:30pm.  I was personally exhausted.  However, we made it to the store, they exchanged our box for an already-assembled chair and were on our way back home for the second time.  The chair is amazing, and I've never had such a comfortable one to sit on while computing.  :)  I'm a very happy girl.

Colten's mom and step-dad visited yesterday, and so we had help assembling the desk.  Colten and Bubba put the desk together while I cleaned the kitchen - I scrubbed that thing CLEAN! - and cooked lunch.  Ok, mostly Bubba put the desk together while Colten watched ;).

The end result is amazing, and I couldn't be any happier.  It definitely fits our personalities and our lifestyle now, as the college years are over (well, almost for Colten) and we are upgrading our furniture and home.  We're growing up!  And it feels sooo good!  I definitely had a moment this morning walking out of our bedroom and seeing the living room, complete with the new desk and chair.  I thought back to a few years ago when I was struggling with many things in life, and I thanked God for everything he's blessed me with, especially the little things.  I'm all about the little things, and I know a desk is a rather LARGE thing, but the ability (physically and financially) to purchase a desk with my husband and to have it in our home means the world to me!  I'm sitting here now just smiling away. 

So, it was another great weekend, and we will cherish our home upgrades for many years to come! 

 This picture just doesn't do it justice! 

Surprise, Surprise!

HE WENT TO JARED!  (again)

My husband is the absolute best!  If you follow me on twitter, Facebook, or Instagram, you already know that my husband picked me up and took me out to lunch yesterday!  So sweet!  He hasn't had a reliable vehicle for so long, and now that he does, it's amazing!  He was off yesterday, so he picked me up at work and we headed on over to Which Wich.  Their sandwiches are seriously amazing.  But anyway...on to the point of this post. 

Later that afternoon, after an amazingly sweet lunch date, he texted me and told me not to look at the bank account.  We recently received our tax return refund and were paying off major credit cards, so he was having to deal with the fraud team of our bank.  But any time he tells me not to look at something, I obviously get concerned...or nosy....or anxious....or, let's be honest, all of these at once!  I want to know immediately what's going on.  Well, of course he wouldn't tell me....he just begged me not to look!  Upon inquiring when he'd let me in on whatever it was that was going on, he said he would talk to me about it when I got home.  Now, that doesn't seem unreasonable.  However, it was only 2pm and I had to go to job #2 yesterday, which meant an entire 8 hours before I'd be home.  Ugh.  I'm ridiculously impatient and he was definitely testing me!  So, I waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  And in between all of that waiting, I was texting him, teasing him that I was going to look at the account.  But, I managed to wait and opened the door to the apartment...

He told me to close my eyes as he left the room.  When he returned, he told me to open my eyes.  And to my surprise was a bag from Jared's!  I almost started crying.  Seriously, my husband is always thinking of me and doing little things for me.  Sometimes I find myself taking this for granted, but I'm definitely working on that and am sure to tell him just how much I appreciate him and his efforts.  A year and a half/two years ago, he surprised the HECK out of me with a Pandora bracelet from Jared's.  And ever since, I've been obsessed with trying to fill that sucker!  By the way, I've succeeded!  It's officially full of charms!  But, my husband has been super helpful with this task.  He's always looking for very meaningful charms to add to my collection.  And yesterday was no different.  He surprised me by taking my bracelet to, first of all, get cleaned.  Then he began his search for a new charm - and boy did he score big time (with getting the perfect charm...dirty minds...)!  Just look at this beauty:

It's the 'guardian angel' charm!  He said it's in remembrance of my granny that tragically died a little over a year ago.  This man is so dang thoughtful!  I seriously started crying when I saw the charm and he explained its significance.  I now have several guardian angels watching over me, and I will cherish this charm forever.  Every time I look at it, I think of both of my grandma's, my aunt, friends, the grandpa I never met, and so many others that have passed away.  He's good...I'll give him that!  I already have a cancer ribbon charm in remembrance of my other grandma that passed away almost 9 years ago to cancer.  I also have a dog charm, lots of hearts charms and 'i love you' charms, as well as a very expensive birth stone charm, bible charm, and a stack of books charm for when I graduated college!  I also have a horseshoe charm for my 'country roots' and for luck! He spoils me...

So, I'm proudly wearing my Pandora bracelet today, and am going to work on color coordinating the bigger stone charms!  It's definitely a favorite addition to my jewelry collection, and I wear it proudly.  And, thank you babe, as you surprised me yet again with your big heart and giving ways.  I truly appreciate everything you do for me and will always cherish the love we have together.

Surprise, surprise...my husband is amazing!  No real surprise there, as I already knew this ;).