{How To} Survive the Dentist

It's really no secret that I despise the dentist. It's nothing personal, but I just hate it. All of the drills, sounds, smells, and not to mention having someone's hands in your mouth for any amount of time - it's just not my cup of tea. Add the pain that goes along with it, and you can COUNT ME OUT!  Seriously, I do.not.like.the.dentist.  And that goes for any kind of dentist. 

 

A few weeks ago, I was hit with a dental emergency. It sucked! So much that I'm still dealing with it today. I'm so ready to be able to eat and talk normally again, it's not even funny.  Actually, nothing about this experience has been funny.  At all.  Yesterday, however, marked my last visit with the endodontist to correct my problem.  The retreatment for my root canal apparently had to be done in two sessions, two weeks apart.  That's right, yesterday was part two! Finally! After recovering from yesterday's procedure, I won't have to go back to them ever again! Well, not for six months anyway, when they just want to follow up with an xray to make sure everything is healing as it is supposed to.  Check out my new tooth job.

 

 

Pretty badass if I do say so myself! Apparently, I have looooong roots, which might have been the issue from the initial root canal six years ago. Whatever, I'm over it. 

 

To go along with my utter dislike of the dentist is my irrational fears of the dentist. I'm a wuss when it comes to pain, and when it's mouth pain, it's intensified by about a million. I will never forget the pain that this infection caused me - you know it's bad when a vicodin and 4 advil PM don't alleviate the pain! Every single time I had to step foot in a dentist's office, the nerves are all over the place, butterflies are psychotic in my stomach, and I start to nervous-sweat. I also want to vomit. Every single time. This might be because of the fact that every time I've been to the dentist that I can remember (a few times in high school and now this), it's been because of something wrong and lots of pain. Thanks brother for pointing that out yesterday! I look forward to the day when I can go to the dentist strictly for a cleaning with no pain. One day...

 

With that, I give you How to Survive the Dentist when you're irrationally scared out of your wits and want to run away screaming.  You're welcome :). 

 

1. Support

Find someone to support you. You're already in pain and scared, so going in alone only adds to the anxiety. When I was in high school and had to get my initial root canal done (thank you frozen m&m cookie dough), my dad went with me to get it done, and I was so grateful! Now, every appointment since my dental emergency a few weeks ago, with the exception of yesterday's finale, my amazing husband has been by my side! He even sat with me in the actual room and listened to the drills and watched them start it out two weeks ago - crazy! He definitely makes me feel better when I'm nervous, anxious, or in pain. Thanks husband! Yesterday, he had to work while I was scheduled to go in, so my amazing brother offered to take me and pick me up. Although he didn't stay for the appointment (I don't blame him; I wouldn't have either!), it helped to just be able to talk about my anxiety and fears...thanks for listening, bro! Regardless, as with most things in life, going at it alone is extra scary; find someone that loves you enough to take time out of their day to support you. It helps.

 

2. Music

I don't know about anyone else, but the sounds in the dentist's office (especially one that specializes in root canals all day every day) are deafening in the fact that all you hear are drills - high pitched, squealing drills coming from every single room. Umm...no thank you! I just wanted to run for the hills. However, having music really helps to drown out those terrible drills and the 'teeth talk' from the dentist and technician. I honestly don't want to hear about every instrument you need and what exactly you're doing - just fix my mouth, please! I bought some nifty (yes, nifty) headphones two weeks ago for my initial appointment, and those suckers drown out all sound! I cranked up the volume and focused on the lyrics. Although I could still feel the pressure from what the dentist was doing, I didn't have to listen to them and I didn't have to hear as much of the drill (although, you can never drown this out completely, as it is a drill grinding down on your teeth...ouch). I brought them along with me yesterday and the technician just laughed - hey, it helps and I don't care if she finds amusement at my ways of coping with my hatred for her practice. Whatever floats your boat, I say! But I definitely would recommend music with your appointment, especially if it's a root canal or retreatment - those suckers take HOURS. 

 

3. Put it in perspective

Yesterday, as my husband wasn't there to squash my irrational nervousness, I had to do it myself. To do this, I reminded myself that I would be numb (God willing) and that it would soon be over. Also, I put my situation into perspective. I work with victims of violent crime every single day. These people have to go to the dentist when their injuries require it, and they are far worse than a retreatment for a root canal. Seriously, my situation is nothing compared to what these people have already endured and still have to endure for the coming days, months, and years. Suck it up, Bri! And guess what? It helped! I was being a baby, and I reminded myself that although this wasn't my fault either, those innocent victims didn't ask to be punched, kicked, or shot in the face.  Also, if going to the dentist for this is the worst thing that's happened this year, I'll take it. Many, if not all, victims have to go to medical appointments for things much, much worse than this. My situation is nothing compared to theirs. Thank God.

 

4. Comfort

Before I left for my appointment yesterday, I made sure I had comfort to come home to. I set up the couch with the biggest, softest blanket, had the remotes set out by the couch, comfortable clothes to immediately change into, and ice cream to eat. Find whatever works for you to go home to and wallow in your pain and discomfort for a little while - it's okay! It definitely helped my healing process each and every time. Don't expect to be in the best mood or be in the least bit productive (and if you are, kudos!). Accept that you'll just need to veg out for a while afterwards or even take a nap. I've done both, and both helped wonders!

 

 

 

Feed your Dreams; Starve your Fears

Go to work, work two jobs, work THREE jobs (?!), give up on keep up with housework, tweet what you're doing, blog about it, take lots of blog-worthy pictures, edit said pictures, instagram said pictures, post it all over facebook to hope that someone cares enough to read what you have to say and cross your fingers that comments will ensue (seriously, you're reading it anyway...why wouldn't you comment?!), check email, respond to email, tweet about nothingness, text your parents, text your friends, text your parents' friends, take more pictures, post more pictures, get back to work, cuddle with your husband, force your husband to take pictures together to keep in a folder on your computer for all of eternity, instagram those photos for all of your social networking friends can show you some love, go to church, keep up with your bible study, fall behind in your bible study, feel terrible, cry about something stupid, be an emotional disaster, tweet about how hard you believe your life is, throw a pity party, be sad that your friends have no time for you, text your friends, check your phone five billion times for social media updates/text messages/phone calls, eat, meet up with friends, be crazy, be random, be YOU, post about YOU on twitter, facebook, and instagram - blog about how awesome YOU are, answer emails, reply to texts, get sucked into that mindless game on your phone, eat, cry again, cry some more, check facebook, call your parents, sleep for a few hours...

And that's all in one day.  DUHHH!

In today's society, life is hectic. But in all of that mess, it's easy to lose sight of yourself.  Life is hard.  No matter if you grew up in the 60's, 90's, or 2000's, it's hard.  It has its ups and downs and all arounds, and a lot of times, it's not fair.  But it's absolutely important to remain true to yourself.  You've got to be courageous. 

Be confidant in who you are - no one can be YOU better than you can!  Do you have dreams? Go after them!  Is there someone keeping you down?  Release yourself from their grasp!  Life is absolutely too precious to not life it to its fullest. 

This week, I began a bible reading plan on my YouVersion app on my phone.  The title of the plan:

COURAGE

Don't belittle yourself just because there may be someone better looking than you or better at their job than you may be.  Everyone starts somewhere, and it's up to you how you want to achieve your dreams. 

And in all of the craziness that is life, you've got to keep one thing in mind: Success in life requires one important tool - God's Word.  It's not enough to simply own His Word - we must use it, read it, meditate it, obey it. 

Have I not commanded you?  BE STRONG and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9

Don't be afraid to be successful.  Don't be afraid to be yourself and strive for excellence.  It's okay if you fail, even if it happens time and time again.  Because remember, nobody is perfect.  Nobody skips through life completely unscathed and blemish free.  It just doesn't happen.  We all fall on our asses time and time again, but I know that I will succeed because I will trust in God, even if he chooses not to grant every prayer and petition I offer up to Him. 

Daniel 3:17 says, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and He will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand." 

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego allowed themselves to be bound and thrown into the furnace becasue they did not serve Nebuchadnezzar's gods or worship the image of gold he had set up.  They knew that God could save them, but they also trusted Him even if He chose not to do so.  When life doesn't go the way you'd hoped, and you're stuck in the furnace, will you choose to trust that God is still good? 

I will.  I do. 

Just recently, I received some not-so-great news about my husband's job, and I took out my anger on him.  Was I wrong? Absolutely!  Did he forgive me? Of course!  Did I apologize? Heck yes!  Repeatedly.  It's easy to be quick to anger and slow to peace, but I've got to make a conscious effort to change it all around.  I just have to remember that God is good all the time.  He knows what my future holds.  He knows every twist and turn that my life has taken and will take in the future.  But because I fully trust in Him, I know peace. 

I have dreams.  I have obstacles in the way of those dreams.  But I don't give up.  I won't.  My dreams will be fed, day in and day out, with my husband by my side and the Lord as my guide.  That doesn't mean it will be a seamless path, because I know for a fact that it won't be.  I'm learning every day to not let my fears win; to not miss out on the ride of a lifetime by giving in to my fears. 

Do you dare? 

this is {NOT} a happy post.

So this is exactly how I'm feeling today.       Surprise, surprise.  I'm stressed.  Angry.  Upset.  Mad.  Frustrated.  And just about any other synonym you can think of to match these.   Why?   Because life is hard.  Life isn't fair.     I know this.  But that doesn't mean I can accept it every single day.  Nope.  That means I'm human and that today is 'one of those days'.    I struggle every day.  I try so hard to stay on top of EVERYTHING.  And it still all manages to fly out of control and out of my hands.  Maybe it's just the need for me to be in control?  Maybe.  But today, I just want to break.  Today, I want to go home, change into the comfiest clothes I own, hug my pillow, and cry.     I really try my best to be optimistic.  I know that everyone is different and that good things come to those that wait.  I have complete faith in God that everything will be alright and that 'this too, shall pass'.  But all I want to do right now...right this very second...is cry.  Cry and scream and yell and take out all of my frustrations on something ... maybe a green plastic cup - it seems to be working for her up there!     I don't want to run away from my problems.  I want to face them head on, and I am.  But my problems are bigger than me today.       What about me?  When is it going to be my turn?  When will I be able to make my dreams come true?  When can I have some fun?  Why can't I go on a trip or vacation?  Why is it that no matter how hard we try, budget, plan ... that we're still only barely floating above water?      I work tirelessly and endlessly and think that it will make a difference.  Day after day, week after week, and month after month - it doesn't.    Now this is where everyone is thinking that I should be thankful for what I have and that my time is coming.  I am thankful.  I talk about it here, here, here, here, and here, just for a few examples.  I know. I know these things.    But it still hurts. It's still hard.    It's hard as hell to sit back and watch your friends and family enjoy the opportunities that come their way.  It's hard to know that your time is coming, and you want nothing more than to be happy for them (and I am, honest!), but to still have that sinking feeling like maybe, just maybe, it's not in the cards for you.    It's not jealousy.  I truly am so overwhelmingly happy for my loved ones and every great accomplishment and event in each and every one of their lives.  Truly.  I wish nothing but the best for them all.   

But maybe part of it is that I always put others before myself.  I would much rather be hurting myself than to see a loved one in any form of distress.  I try to do things for myself, but then I feel guilty.  I should be responsible and save the money for what I know we need to be spending it on.  I should save.  I should spend my free time doing 'this' or 'that' for so-and-so because they need me.  Or so I think.  Does anyone wonder or care what I need or want?  Am I a priority to anyone?  Is it that difficult for others to show their love, support, and/or encouragement towards me?  Maybe it is. 

And now, by the end of this post.  I'm numb.

I will continue to work diligently and tirelessly, week after week, because I know it's keeping me together.  I will continue to search for answers, especially in my faith.  I will be better tomorrow, or the next day.  And as always, I will put a smile on my face, showing no sign of anger, hatred, frustration, or negativity. 

I know that I am blessed.  I know that I'm loved.  I know that I have things that others may not have or ever have in their lifetime.  I know life isn't fair.  I know that my time will come. 

I know. 

But today, I especially know that life is hard. 
Happy Wednesday.
*sigh*

Emotional Disaster

This week has been terrible.    And it's only Wednesday.   Actually, I believe I made that statement yesterday, when it was only Tuesday.     We all know those weeks where it just seems like the world is completely against you.  Well, that's life.  What are we to do?  It's just so...hard.       I received heartbreaking news on Monday afternoon, which I knew was only a matter of time.  More to come on that specific topic later.   My heart cannot handle it right now.     On top of that, the horrific tornado struck in Oklahoma, leaving many families torn apart and desperate for help.  Although I was not personally devastated by the impact, it's everywhere: in the news, social media, talk around the office...  There's no escaping it.  It's tragic, and those affected will need time and prayer to heal their souls.   And the week continues...   Yesterday, Colten received information from his school regarding his financial aid.  We now have to come up with an obscene amount of money in order for his projected graduation/school path to continue as planned.   Thankfully, for this 'problem', I knew where to turn.   But that didn't stop me from having a full blown panic attack.  It came out of nowhere.     And here I sit today, feeling all kinds of defeated and every bit drained from being a total emotional disaster.   My eyes burn.    It's not normal to cry so much. Seriously, I've had to have the lights off in my office for the past few days in order for me to even open my eyes.     But I can't help it.  I'm sad; I'm anxious; I'm stressed; I'm angry; I'm exhausted.   I guess that would sum up being an emotional disaster.   My brain can't even function normally.   I need sleep.     I've been working overtime at work on top of already working two jobs.  Why?  It's excellent money!  And now, since yesterday's news, we're in even more need of as much extra money we can come up with as possible.  And I'm reminded:

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:19 

God will provide for my needs.  When I think it can't get worse after being hit with wave after wave of turmoil, I am shown the light.  I for sure thought there was no way we could afford for my husband to finish school as planned, but there is a way, and he will finish as planned.  It is NOW that the overtime at work is being offered - and it's a big deal, as it doesn't happen very often at all.  It is NOW that we are able to get the support that we need from those we love.  It is NOW that God continues to show me that He, once again, provides for what it is that we need in that moment.

He has not and will not fail me.  That doesn't mean there won't be rough days ahead, as I know for a fact there will be ... it's going to be a hard next few weeks, it's guaranteed.  But I'm not alone.  My husband has lifted me up on so many occasions, and I'm ever so thankful for God placing him in my life.  My parents are always there to support us, both of us, in every aspect possible.  They have never and will never turn their backs on us, especially in our time of need.

So, although this is a very hard time in my life, my faith remains strong.  

 

I just might bend, but I won't break.  

There's gonna be BRIGHTER DAYS.

  I know that this, too, shall pass.  But for now, I fear that I will remain an emotional disaster, and I pray that peace is in my near future.      

Be {Fearless}!

Fear.    Fear is very real and very scary.   But you shouldn't let it define your life or keep you from living every day to the fullest!    Read my take on fear over on my guest post on Cheltee's blog!           HAPPY HUMP DAY, FRIENDS! ♥