Letting Go

Letting go is a hard but necessary part of life. It's healthy. The absolute hardest part of this process for me is actually realizing when it's time to let go, whether it be of a situation, a feeling I'm having, friendships, material things ... I struggle in recognizing the when. 

Letting go is an art form and a process. It doesn't happen overnight. In fact, it looms over me and makes me constantly think about the particular situation for days and days, sometimes weeks and months! Confession: I struggle with letting go. Of anything. Story of my life! 
However, I've noticed recently that I'm finding it easier and easier to truly let go of things, people, situations that aren't good for me. It's not healthy to cling on to something or someone forever when in reality, you need to move past it. So I guess you could say I'm getting healthier :). 
A big part of my progress in this area is my faith. Becoming closer with God has allowed me to truly and realistically give it all to Him. This means it's taken care of. Whatever 'it' is, God's got a handle on it. Now, I've known this forever, but as with anything these days, it's way easier said than done. However, I'm really making strides in acting on it, and I feel amazing! 

I have a post-it note on my computer monitor that reads: 
"Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best. Let go and let God." 
It's true! Putting this into action each and every day has helped me tremendously! I no longer fret over losing a friendship that I know isn't healthy anymore or getting rid of those clothes I'm never going to wear again. Like I said, it relates to every.single.aspect.of.my.life. For real. 
I'm not saying that I've perfected the act of letting go, but I've definitely come a long way. With that, though, I've still got a long way to go. But I'm proud of the progress I've made and where I am currently. I'm happier because of it. My husband is happier because of it. I stress less. I'm more calm in situations I have no control over. I'm learning to let go. And it's amazing. 
The really amazing part is when other people notice my overall happiness and the way I deal with something that usually would set me off. Case in point: very recently, Colten discovered his wedding ring was missing. Normally, I would absolutely lose it {and for a second or two, I did...}; I mean, it's your WEDDING RING! But, I calmly helped him look for it, at least until he came to realization that the last time he had it was at work. Ultimately, he concluded that he accidentally threw it away when he took his gloves off at work. {This would've been the time that the old me would've stormed off and yelled something not so nice}. Instead, I took a deep breath and gave him a hug. He was beside himself with losing it, and it was unbelievably obvious how hurt he was. Me blowing up at him wasn't going to help the situation. Instead, I let go of the anger I felt and told him that I loved him. Yes, he'll never have the ring I gave him when we were married. But does that change the fact that we're married or that we love each other?! Absolutely not. A ring is replaceable - especially if it's not something that's been passed down or anything. And the awesome thing is that I remember exactly where I got it from, and they still have the exact same ring, on sale. So, we will replace it and move on with our lives. He still loves me. He didn't do it on purpose. It was a mistake, and we all make mistakes. Who am I to judge him?! I took a deep breath, didn't obsess over the situation, and I let go. And oh how amazing it felt to not be completely caught up in my feelings of hurt and anger.  Letting go is good. 

How do you 'let go'? Do you struggle with it?

Delighting in Obedience

I have joined over 40,000 other women in the current Online Bible Study, Made to Crave. It is a six-week journey via Proverbs 31 Ministries in which you devote time and energy to studying about God, deepening your faith, and quite possibly changing your life. Head over to Proverbs 31 to find out more. It's also not too late to sign up, if you're interested. 
LINKING UP FOR WEEK 3'S BLOG HOP.  I am a work in progress, and that's okay! I'm learning {slowly} that being obedient takes time. In this study about craving God and not food, it's making me take a long, hard look at myself. Sometimes it's okay, but others, it's hard to examine myself and be truly accepting of where I am currently. Do I want to lose weight? Of course! Is it hard? YES! Am I defined by a number on the scale? Not anymore. 
Lysa Terkeurst encourages us through Made to Crave to be defined by our obedience to God. 
How powerful is this?! Instead of being described by just how much I weigh, I'm approaching it differently {or, attempting to...} and am looking at myself based on my obedience to God. Although this is much more satisfying than staring at a number on the scale waiting for it to finally stop climbing, I'm still not happy in being described by this. Why? Let me explain. 
I'm not very obedient to God - at least not as often or as much as I want to be. BUT, at least it's 'want' and not 'should'. Yes, I want to be more obedient to God. I'm working on it. I admit that I choose watching a few T.V. shows over reading my devotional or bible study for a night, or two, or three... I have good intentions, but being intentional in my obedience and following through is what I'm working on now. I can do it! 
Although I am progressing in my obedience to God, I'm nowhere near where I want to be! That's right, I'm failing. But that's okay. God accepts me exactly where I am in my relationship with Him, and He knows what my future holds. I know that my obedience to Him will in fact become stronger and more sincere. I know that I'm on the right path. It's definitely not a straight line. In fact, there are many, many curves and overlaps on my path to become more obedient, but it's MY journey, and I couldn't be more proud of where I am! 

I will give you hidden treasures,

    riches stored in secret places,

so that you may know that I am the Lord,

    the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

-Isaiah 45:3
Moving forward, there are specific things I am going to incorporate into my day-to-day in order to fulfill my desire to become more obedient to God. 
STARTING MY DAY WITH GOD I will begin every morning with God's word. Whether I have five minute or thirty minutes, I will start the day being rejuvenated in His glory. 
IT'S ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS I don't plan on making huge life changes here. I believe it's about the little things. I will have my Bible and study tools {devotionals, journal, etc.} with me every day, no matter where I go. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Well, by keeping these things with me, I will be constantly reminded to just take a few minutes for God. I know this will help, because it has before. Right now, it's all about consistency, which will take some time but will definitely cause a change in my lifestyle to become more obedient. 
BE ALARMING I will be setting an alarm on my phone to remind me to pray and/or study Scripture. Again, it's a reminder that this needs to be done, and until it becomes second nature, I know that this is another useful tool to aid in my journey of obedience. Because a journey it will definitely be. 
These are just three things that I have already slowly begun to incorporate into my daily routine. These are by no means a huge change or life adjustment. They are small and very doable because I'm all about realistic expectations and realistic changes. Why? Because I know myself, and I know that if I have unrealistic goals such as waking up an hour early every day to devote to Scripture or devoting certain days/hours to it, I know that I will fail. I know myself, and I know that all too often, I choose other things/people instead of choosing to be obedient to God. And why would I want to set myself up for failure?! 
I love how Amanda puts it: 


"I wrestle with being obedient. I have a rebellious heart that is prone to wandering, and being obedient to the direction and commands of Jesus does not come naturally. But obedience is one discipline that is foundational in every season of life. Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). Our obedience to Christ is a sweet love song of worship and adoration of our Savior, no matter our season in life. Even when we’re knee-deep in the muddy waters of waiting."




My heart, too, is rebellious. Like I said, I choose material, temporary things instead of being engrossed in Scripture and study. I make up excuses, such as, "I'll get to it later." or "Right after this show." But God feels my love for Him most when I'm obedient. So, I'm working on it. It may take a few months to be on the track I'd really like to be on, or it may be a few years. However long it takes, I know the journey will be well worth it and that I'll eventually be satisfied with my obedience to our Savior. I'm going to be delighted in my obedience to the Lord. 
I encourage others to do the same. Be realistic and take baby steps. God accepts you right where you are, but you have to be willing to put in the time and effort, no matter how big or small, to become obedient in Him. It doesn't take much, but it takes something. 

How are you being intentionally obedient to God?

I Look to You

Some days are harder than others. The memories come flooding back of happier days and loved ones that are no longer present with us on earth. Nothing goes the way you want or plan. You're late to work. You wake up late. You get frustrated and angry over the littlest things. Your finances are out of control. The car has a flat. You don't want to talk it out to anyone. No one could understand. You're hurt. You're angry. You're grieving. You're sad. You just aren't happy. You're trudging through the day, and it's rough. Some days, there's no answer to why you're having a 'bad day'. You just are. Things just aren't right. Nothing you do seems to be right. You can't lose that weight. You can't finish what you started. And those failures? They're daunting! They stare you in the face and they're always there. You didn't meet your goal. You weren't even close. You were almost there. It doesn't matter - you failed. Your co-workers are grinding on your nerves. Your friends are no where to be found. You feel alone. Lost. Scared.
Everyone experiences hardship and pain. It's a natural part of life. I've had my share of downs in this life, and I'm a stronger person because of it. I've learned {the hard way I think} that what makes you a better person is how you react to the troubles of life. Am I going to drown in my sorrow and feel sorry for myself day in and day out? Who cares anyway? Am I going to allow my unhappiness to get the better of me and bring me down further? 
Today, the answer is no. Let me just say that again: NO. Man, that feels good! There was a day {or two, or ten...who's counting?} that I would've said yes. That it didn't matter how I reacted - I could feel sorry for myself if that's what I truly wanted. Of course I had family and friends that did care about me {and still do...love y'all!}, but there's only so much someone else can do for you. After all, they have their own struggles to sort through and figure out. And on those days, I was truly miserable. I didn't want to do anything but lay in bed and watch TV. Those fictional characters were my way to ignore the pain and the hurt in my own life.
So, what do you do when there's no one there and you refuse to drown in sadness and pain? 
I turn to God. 
My faith has been blossoming over this past year or so, and I couldn't be happier! I know that I have a way to go, but I'm on the right track, and that's what matters most! 

Now, when I'm having a not-so-good day, I remind myself that I am unbelievably blessed. I have a healthy marriage with my best friend; I have the most amazing family who always supports me and gets closer and stronger every day; we can afford to pay our expenses; I not only have one job, I have two. The list seriously goes on and on. God has truly blessed me with so much, and I know that I am undeserving, but I'm unbelievably thankful. 
And today, when I feel defeated and lost, I look to God. I look to Him for support, encouragement, motivation, and healing. He has a plan for my life, and I look to Him for guidance through the dark moments along the way. 
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."  -John 16:33 
God didn't promise us that life would be easy, but he promised that our suffering would pale in comparison to what He has in store for His followers. 
And then I came across a song: I Look to You by Selah. 

It speaks straight to my heart, and I just wanted to share :). I'm striving to truly let go and let God. He has all of the answers, and that truly makes my heart soar. 

All about Christ.

"Hooray for Friday!" is exactly what I'm happily shouting at the top of my lungs today! Seriously - it's been a super long week and I'm so ready to be able to just head home today after work instead of going to job #2. Although I'm thankful for both jobs, I truly look forward to being able to actually spend time at home and get stuff done {or just be lazy and relax...those days are definitely crucial!}. So, in the spirit of another Friday that I've been beyond blessed to see roll around, I'm sticking with the theme of blessings. Today's five on Friday is all about Christ. 
{one} CHRISTmas. Christmas is in the air EVERYWHERE, and I'm absolutely in love! It's been especially present on my little blog these past few days {seriously, I think there's about a bajillion Christmas linkups - so if you're in the mood, go have some fun!}. I had some fun this week sharing about what I love about the holidays and how I decorated my home and office this year! So, you should definitely go check it out. Also, I'm completely obsessed with the fact that Christmas is officially less than two weeks away! Ahhh! 
{two} thank God. There are a lot of people {way more than I'd like, quite honestly} that seem to feel as if they're at their wits end and don't know which way is up. They are spinning down into a tumultuous black hole and constantly complain about the 'awful' things in their lives. Well, I'm here to say thank God. I've been there, and I know what it's like to completely feel as if what you are facing is just completely terrible and you've been faced with such a huge burden that it's just the worst thing ever. Seeing others experiencing the same hurt, pain, and anger truly makes me thankful to God for the blessings that have been bestowed upon my life. No matter how big or small, a blessing is a blessing, and I am forever grateful. It's so easy to overlook the joys in life and stay focused on all of the negativity. I'm living proof that through the smoke on those bumps of life, there is greatness. There is happiness and joy. There is life. And for that, I thank God. 
{three} remembering. Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. The video below is completely heart wrenching and just blows me away every single time that I watch it. Please, please take a few minutes {4 minutes and 5 seconds to be exact} out of your day to watch this beautiful video of Emilie's family after tragedy ripped apart their family just one short year ago tomorrow and changed their lives forever. You'll definitely need a kleenex or two, but it's completely worth it. I promise.  Those blue eyes...I die. This video has gone absolutely viral, as I've seen it posted on blogs, on Facebook, twitter, emails ... it is a truly amazing video of how evil did not win that day. 
In remembering such a terrible tragedy, I went back and read a few blog posts that I wrote regarding that day:  + Newtown, Connecticut Shooting + Because it Still Hurts They're not long posts, but they remind me of my anger, confusion, and faith from that day - the day that so many lives were completely changed forever. The day that will haunt them for years to come and may never go away. The day they lost a piece of their heart. I'm remembering, and I'm praying. May God comfort those that are still hurting from the senseless tragedy and bring a sense of peace that the lost loved ones are joyfully playing in Heaven at the feet of our Creator and Savior. 
{four}little drummer boy. After that last video, I'm now asking you to spend four more minutes watching this one. You won't be disappointed - honest! If you weren't in the Christmas spirit before, you will be now: 
Isn't it beautiful? The union of all of their voices and the gorgeous message behind the song. I can't sum it up any better than Amber did over at Mr. Thomas and Me. Please, please, please go read it. PLEASE! {Yes, now I'm pretty sure I'm begging.} It's glorious, to say the least! Thank you Amber! I can seriously have this song on repeat to enjoy over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. It's that good. Do yourself a favor and go listen to it, even if you've done so already - even a couple hundred times ;). 
{five}healing.  Hallelujah! Colten is finally free of his pneumonia! Now that is something to scream at the top of my lungs! He will still have to use his inhaler for the next month and a half, but he's done with his antibiotics, and he is fully admitting that he's all better {which is a suretell sign that he's better}. I hate feeling completely helpless and having to sit back while the man I love with all that I am suffers day in and day out. So I am praising God today that He has healed my husband and will allow us {hopefully...} to celebrate Jesus' birth day free from illness. What greater gift is there?! 

Of course, linking up with THE GOOD LIFE BLOG. 

Prayers, please!

I'm a huge fan of prayer. Seriously, I pray 346,594,439,103,049,664,258,376 times a day! Or so it seems... 
I love praying. It brings a sense of peace and hopefulness, and it's a weight being lifted off of my shoulders each and every time. I know that I do not have to walk this life journey on my own. God's got me. And when I'm in a particular situation in which I'm frustrated about or worried about, I know that I can turn to God and immediately feel a sense of peace wash over my entire body. It's amazing! 
All too often we turn to prayer as an outlet of frustration and anger - and that's fine! God can take it, believe me! When tragedy strikes, we question God. We don't know which way is up, and we don't know why God allowed for such a thing to happen. Why didn't he stop it? Why didn't he heal our loved one? Why? I wrote about that here. Turn to prayer. 
However, we should also pray in times of happiness and joy! Thank God for all that he has blessed your life with. Did you get to spend an extra hour sleeping? Thank God! Did you ace that final exam? Thank God! Did you travel safely to visit with family and friends for the holidays? Hallelujah! Thank God! Prayer does not only have to be filled with grief, hatred, confusion, or anger - it can be filled with love, patience, happiness, and hope. Be overly grateful and pray to God for all that you are thankful for. Pray that you know whatever happens, in His time, is His will, not yours. {a great and powerful post on that by Chelsea over at Anchors Aweigh yesterday, as her and her husband face the unknown in the military}

Sometimes, though, we forget to pray. We forget that God is at the center of it all and that we must put our faith in Him and His timing. We forget. Seriously?! It breaks my heart when I feel so completely overwhelmed by a situation that I feel I cannot breathe. Hello, Bri?! God's got you! And it's true. But we most often forget His presence in our times of joy. We happily go on with our lives in full complacency - but guess who made that happen? Yep, you guessed it. God. Pray to Him and thank Him. 
I constantly and continuously accept prayer requests. And I mean that! I take time out of my day {every single day} to pray for those in need. If you are in need of extra prayers, please don't hesitate for a single second! Let me know! Reach out to me in any way you feel comfortable {several means of communication here} and send me your prayer requests. You can be as vague or specific as you want, God knows what you're going through. 
With that being said, I'm sending up some serious prayers that my sweet husband feels better soon! It's nothing serious {God-willing}, but he's been fighting something fierce for the past few weeks and he just can't get rid of it. He's miserable, and I don't know how else to help him. Everything the doctors have given him seem to make things better for a few days, but then his breathing is labored again and the fever comes back. He's off to the doctor again today, so hopefully they'll have more answers! It breaks my heart to see him feeling so under the weather, and I pray that his spirits are lifted and that he feels better soon! If praying is your thing, please pray for better health to come his way! I seriously thank you in advance. :) 
Can I pray for you today? 

Government Shutdown 2013

 

There has been so much drama and craziness surrounding the current shutdown of our government. I, for one, am no political genius or political anything for that matter. I know enough to understand the current events {well, most of them anyway} in our society and I move on with my life. And honestly, the only reason that I know as much as I do about this whole 'government shutdown' thing is because I work for the government. Consider this my disclaimer. :)

First of all, it's been 17 years since the federal government last faced a partial shutdown because Congress and the President couldn't agree on a spending bill. Basically, Congress must pass laws to spend money. If Congress can't agree on a spending bill {or if the President vetoes it}, the government does not have the legal authority to spend money. Not okay. The current shutdown revolves around this: the Republican-controlled House has passed a spending bill that maintains spending levels but does not provide funding to implement the Affordable Care Act, or Obamacare. The Democratic Senate insists that the program be fully funded and that Congress pass what they call a 'clean' CR (continuing resolution). 

And now, a little history of government shutdowns. Usually, shutdowns last no more than three days, with some even lasting less than a day. There have been 17 government shutdowns since 1977, per the Congressional Research Service. The longest shutdown was also the most recent: from December 16, 1995 through January 5, 1996 - 21 days. So far this time, we're on day 3.

Now, how does that affect us? Well, let's take a look. National Parks and monuments are shut down - yep, that includes Yosemite, the Smithsonian, the Statue of Liberty, and Holocaust Museum. Tax returns would possibly be delayed, especially if you file a paper return. The IRS will suspend all audit activities. The WIC program will take a hit - no money will be available to pay the administrative costs of the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children. The National Institutes of Health will not be able to accept new patients or begin clinical tests. New gun permits won't be processed. Call centers, hotlines and regional offices that help veterans understand their benefits close. New applications for small business loans and loan guarantees will be immediately halted. Hundreds of thousands of Federal employees including many charged with protecting us from terrorist threats, defending our borders, inspecting our food, and keeping our skies safe will work without pay until the shutdown ends. And hundreds of thousands of additional Federal workers will be furloughed without pay - it just depends.

So, what's not affected? Well, social security beneficiaries will continue receiving checks. The U.S. Postal Service will continue delivering mail. Active military continue serving. Air traffic controllers, prison guards, and border patrol agents will remain on the job. NASA Mission Control will continue supporting astronauts serving on the Space Station. The majority of Homeland Security will stay on the job. The President's $400,000 salary is mandatory spending, so he will be paid.

Want a more specific list? Check out CNN's article on What's closed, what's open? 

This morning, my coworker talked about some reports her friend saw on the news regarding children being turned away from Cancer centers and having to perform certain medical procedures from home. Sickening.

I believe part of the importance of this situation is really understanding it! I have done so much research and talked to attorneys and higher-ups this week regarding all of this that it's unreal! It's taken over. And God only knows how long it will last. So, education is key!

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But with all of that going on, today, I am thankful.

I'm thankful that I still have a job to go to. In fact, I have two. Yes, I work for the state, but I am not furloughed. I continue to go to work every morning knowing I will get paid as usual. For that, I am thankful.

I'm thankful that I do not have any serious medical problems that are affected by this shutdown. And I pray for all of those out there that do. I cannot even begin to imagine how stressful, frustrating, and miserable it must be to figure this all out. Who is open? What benefits will you continue receiving? Will you have to figure out an alternative to something? God bless the men and women out there struggling with this new 'normal', however long it lasts.

I'm also thankful for a wonderful, loving family. I've lent an ear and shoulder to cry on recently to more than one person struggling with family issues {completely unrelated to the shutdown, but still}. It reminds me that I am blessed with amazing, supportive parents and quirky, loving, caring siblings. We have and will continue to go out of our way to help each other, even if we're getting on each other's nerves. The petty fights are nothing. We have love. And we show love. And we are blessed. For that, I am grateful. Every single day, I thank God for his mercy and blessings bestowed upon my family.

I'm thankful for the opportunity that I have to assist victims of violent crime. No, we cannot help everyone, and yes, I get yelled at daily by victims and grieving loved ones, but it's worth it. It's not easy, but every time that I tell the victim or grieving loved one that we will be able to help them financially with the evil that has burdened their life, hearing the tears of joy and unending thanks that has hit their hearts, it makes it all worthwhile. The good outweighs the bad. We do help. We do good. For that, I am so thankful.

I am most importantly thankful to God for my faith. I know that I am saved and that I serve an awesome God. In good times and in bad, I know that it is His will and His plan. That faith continues to grow each and every day, and for that, I am thankful. I am thankful for all that He has given me, for I know that I am undeserving. I am a sinner. But He forgives me for what I have done. He knows the path that lies ahead for me, and having unwavering faith in Him and in His plan for my life, whatever purpose He has me here for, it leaves me with peace. Peace in knowing Him and serving Him. I know from experience that life is not easy. And this government shutdown is another example for those that are affected by it. God never said life would be easy, but He did say it would be worth it!  For that, I am forever thankful.

So, I challenge you. Today, be thankful. Even if it seems the world is crashing down upon you and you carry the weight of it on your shoulders, find something to be thankful for. Let go of the festering anger and hatred and resentfulness that you carry for whatever it may be, and just be thankful. We need a little happiness to go along with the doom and gloom of this shutdown. No, we don't know what lies ahead for our country. But in the face of it all, give thanks for the blessings in your life.

 

2 Timothy 3:16 {GROW in His Word}

Linking up for an amazing Scripture study group with Vanessa, Kelsey, Faith, and Melissa: GROW in His Word.  It's a weekly Scripture study in which we use the acronym G-R-O-W.

G - Greet - Welcome God's presence into your study with prayer

R - Read - Read the verse a few times, both silently and aloud

O - Observe - Ask yourself what stood out to you while you read the verse

W - Write - Write out the verse, note your observations, and share a prayer for this verse

This past week's verse was 2 Timothy 3:16.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.

All Scripture...

This is the part the really stood out to me the most. Although it's only two words, they are so very powerful! Think about it - ALL Scripture; not just some of it. Don't pick and choose which verses to live by. It is telling us that we must grow in His Word - ALL of His Word, not leaving out any Scripture. Wow!

is breathed out by God...

God is telling us what to do. He is showing us the way to live out His will and to succumb to His glory - to really reach out and change our way of life to follow His teachings. We are blessed to learn from our Creator, our God. How amazing is that!  

and profitable for teaching...

No matter what stage of life you're currently in, all Scripture can be used to teach - to teach others the way that you've found, to teach yourself how to be more Christ-like, centered, and focused.  I learn from Scripture every.single.day. And regardless of what verse it is, it speaks volumes to me and I am blessed to truly learn from God and to deepen my relationship with Him. No one else can do it for you - YOU have got to learn from His teachings. 

for reproof...

I am very self-centered in my faith and strive to work at it every day. So with this comes the idea of repentance. God graciously forgives us for our sins and welcomes us into His heart with open arms. So should we, too, do this unto others. Do not cast blame and doubt upon fellow sinners. Instead, welcome them back to God with open arms, just as God has done and will continue to do for you.

for correction...

I love how each of these sections of this verse go hand in hand. Correction continues from where I left off with reproof. But I want to take it a step further and really look at myself with this one. In my current state of my faith and relationship with Him, I am called to use Scripture for correction in my own life - in my own mind. When I think I'm right...WRONG! I turn to Scripture to focus my life to be Christ centered and to correct my ill-thinkings and actions.

and for training in righteousness.

Learn to do His will, not yours. Righteousness - the state of moral perfection required by God to enter Heaven. The ultimate goal. The reason to learn all Scripture. Using Scripture, we are able to train throughout our lifetime to live by God's Word and to sculpt our image in His eyes. We are able to truly become Christ-like and enter into His kingdom upon His calling.  This is truly glorious!

What a perfect verse to begin this link-up! It truly starts you at the perfect place - to obtain the perfect mindset to continue this journey of deepening our faith and relationship with our Creator! I admit, I am guilty of picking and choosing which Scripture to study.  But God calls to use all Scripture in shaping my life as a Christian. This definitely opens my eyes that my study needs to be all inclusive. My study needs to get much deeper and centered on where God is leading me. This can and will happen.

This also leads to where my heart has been turning towards: the Bible. Let me explain. My heart has been yearning to truly read through the bible and actually learn what it is saying. I want to have a better understanding of what God is asking me to do. Yes, I attend church and listen to God's Word weekly, but I truly want to understand better. I see an extensive bible study in my future, really learning each book of the bible and knowing who is speaking and to whom he or she is speaking, as well as the time each book was set. I want this. I need this. And it'll happen. Overtime ends this month, so come September, I know what will be utilizing my time. Not only will I have my home back (70 hour work weeks do not allow for much time to devote to maintaining a household), but I will become organized and will begin the next chapter of my journey of faith.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for allowing my eyes to open further and to be set upon Your Word. Please allow me to fully utilize Scripture to deepen my relationship with You and to GROW closer to You. Thank you for the blessings that are the women who have created this opportunity for others to grow in your Word together. Without them, this experience would not be the same. Thank you for such an amazing community of Your followers that have come together through this link-up where studying Your will is a priority. I pray that you continue teaching me to dive into Your teachings and to develop my understanding even further than what's on the surface. Please continue to speak to my heart and teach me to follow the path to righteousness so that I will enter Your kingdom when You come calling my name.

In Your name, I pray.

Amen.

You've got to {Have Faith}

Life is hard.  Who's with me?! 

  As a faithful woman, I believe in prayer.  Some of the things I pray for include:   good health peace comfort prosperity understanding hope specific individuals patience acceptance rain a good night's sleep motivation   Seriously, the list goes on and on.  

God never promised that we would live a life without struggle and hardship. It's going to happen. God told us it's going to happen; not 'if', but 'when'. And when it does, that's when our faith is tested the most! 

So many difficult and tragic things happen that cause us to doubt God's existence and whether or not His way is the right way. Click here for a list of a few of the tragedies since 1995 that have shocked our nation to the core. 

Faith is not questioned only on the large-scale issues, but in everyday life as well. "Why is my loved one facing such financial ruin?" "Why is my mother so sick?" "Why is there not enough food to go around for everyone?" "Why does cancer even exist?" "Why is there so much suffering in the world?"

Why does God allow tragedy and suffering?

The answer is simple: "I do not know." 

I cannot stand in God's shoes with His mind.  He knows all things; we don't.  But it is written,

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. - 1 Corinthians 13:12

When you ask about specific events and want to know why a particular thing happened, we don't get the full answer in this world.  Someday, we'll see with clarify, but for now things are foggy. We have a finite perspective of everything, and we simply cannot understand it all. 

To those going through a difficult time, whether it be the effects of a mass casualty situation, the loss of a loved one by cancer, financial hardship, or poverty, they desperately need the real and comforting presence of Jesus Christ in their lives so that they may know peace. 

It's very well known that when you pray for something, the way you perceive and ask of it is not necessarily how it will happen.  God has a plan for everything and everyone.  You've got to have faith that when it's time, it'll happen. It's so easy to get frustrated and caught up in your own wants and needs - I'm guilty of this all too often.  I just take a deep breath and remind myself that it's all in His hands, and I trust in Him. 

When you're questioning 'why', remember:

1. God is not the creator of evil and suffering. 

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. - Genesis 1:31

This answers the question we hear all too often: "Why didn't God merely create a world where tragedy and suffering didn't exist?"  HE DID!  Love is the highest value in the universe, and God wanted us to experience love.  But in order to have the ability to experience this, God had to give us free will to decide whether or not to love.  Love always involves a choice.  As humans, we've abused our free will by rejecting God and walking away from Him.  Enter, evil. 

2. Though suffering isn't good, God can use it to accomplish good.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

This is God's promise that he will cause good to emerge, not that he causes evil and suffering. If we're committed to following Him, he promises that good will come of every bad and terrible situation.  Think about it, when you're completely encompassed in tragedy, grief, and anger, do you think to yourself, "Hey, it's okay because I know that good will become of this situation.  I know I will better because I have experienced this pain." The answer 90% of the time is no.  Of course you don't. You are so terribly hurt and are grieving that you do not see outside of that particular situation - sometimes for years to come. But God does - He knows that experiencing what you did will cause you to become better because of it, if not only stronger to deal with the next wave of suffering. 

3. The day is coming when suffering will cease and God will judge evil.

The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. - 2 Peter 3:9

The Bible says that the story of this world is not over yet.  The day will come when sickness and pain will be eradicated and people will be held accountable for the evil they've committed.  (and here comes my all-time favorite sentence...) Justice will be served in a perfect way.  That day will come, but not yet.  Why? Well, God is waiting for US. He is holding out that more will come to follow His will and spend eternity in Heaven.  We are still a work in progress, people!  This also reminds us that life is short and is very fragile.  We've all seen it! We have got to have faith and live our lives even amongst the pain and suffering.  You never know when your last day will be your last.

4. Our suffering will pale in comparison to what God has in store for his followers.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. - 2 Corinthians 4:17

Now, that's pretty heavy.  But when you put your bad days into context, they aren't worth comparing with the 'eternity of blessings and joy' you are to experience. God promises a time with no more tears, no more heartache, no more agony when we will be reunited with God in perfect harmony, forever. 

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. - 1 Corinthians 4:9

5. We decide whether to turn bitter or turn to God for peace and courage.

I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. But be courageous! I have conquered the world. - John 16:33

I've personally seen the same (or near similar) set of circumstances cause one person to reject God and become bitter and another to turn to God and become more gentle and loving.  That's right, we get to decide. Are you going to let what is currently happening momentarily in your life fill your heart with hatred and turn away from God?  Or are you going to allow it to fill your heart with peace and comfort knowing that it was God's will to be done?  Again, you get to decide. 

God offers us two things we need when we're hurting: peace to deal with our present and courage to deal with our future. Check out this excerpt:

Through His own suffering and death, He has deprived this world of its ultimate power over you. Suffering doesn’t have the last word anymore. Death doesn’t have the last word anymore. God has the last word!

How amazing! That definitely lifts my spirit when I'm in a dark place. Suffering is a personal problem; it demands a personal response.  My response is that you've got to have faith.  Salvation comes from knowing Christ personally and receiving His provision for YOUR sin and YOUR future. It comes from making him YOUR Savior, by asking Him to forgive YOUR every sin, and by asking Him to lead YOUR life. 

This post was inspired by and references a message delivered by Lee Strobel at Cherry Hills Community Church in Highlands Ranch, Colorado. 

My Search for a {Church}

This has been weighing heavily on my mind and heart lately.  But to be completely honest, it's been much longer than just 'lately'.  Actually, it's been bothering me to some extent for the past two years.    I moved to Austin from my small hometown right after graduating high school.  Of course, I have a church at home that I know I have always and will always be a part of, and it has a special place in my heart.  *And as a side note, I'm super pumped for the upcoming St. John's 4th of July picnic! Check it out here.*   

  However, moving to a new city, I longed to have that sense of belonging at a new parish. Sadly, this did not happen.  Not in the many years since I moved away from home. Sure, I would go to mass on Sunday morning and participate, week after week.  But I didn't attend a church that I really felt that I belonged to.  Maybe it was because there were not many younger people my age - they were mostly older families, or at least families with babies - no one that was college age, at least that I noticed.    Moving farther north (I pretty much moved every single year, until I moved in with my husband), we began to attend a church just down the road from our place, and mostly, it was great!  It was more modern and there were definitely people there our age, but something still just wasn't right.  I couldn't place my finger on it exactly, but it bothered me.    With my faith getting stronger and stronger, the want for finding a church where we belonged ate away at me more and more.  So, it was time to take matters into my own hands.  I didn't want to attend a church that would take us an hour to get to.  We're not morning people, so waking up extra early to travel to church was just out of the picture.  And my research began.     This past Friday, I finally found a very possible contender, so Sunday morning, we headed out and attended a new church.    AND WE ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!    They are a fairly new community and their service was amazing.  The actual church was so stunning, even more so because they have a giant glass wall looking out towards the trees and it was raining - so it was just glorious!  I'm really excited to have found this parish, and we can't wait to go back week after week, hopefully leading up to becoming new members!  They also do a lot in the community and have many options to dive deeper into our faith through small groups and bible studies. I'm excited for our new adventures to begin and to become more involved!        Gorgeous, right?!    I know that to some, looking for a new church is not important or a 'big deal', but to me, it's huge!  It makes a big difference when you attend a parish where you truly feel welcomed and that sense of belonging.    Here are a few things to assist in looking for a new church:   1. Research your options.  Instead of just going to the closest church, really come up with a few options that are at an acceptable distance for you to travel.  Then, you can find out more about each one until you make a decision.  I hadn't done this for the longest time and just attended the closest one.  I found out there aren't 'too' many nearby, but enough to still have options! I found this website particularly helpful.   2. Figure out what you want out of a church. This may seem obvious, but you really have to decide what you are seeking from a church to help make a decision.  For me, I wanted an active community with many volunteer options, as well as opportunities to interact with church members and study our faith.  For example, I really want to be able to attend small groups and/or bible studies.  It's important to both me and my husband, and we wanted to be able to participate with members our age as well as older or younger members.  We haven't had this opportunity yet, so fingers crossed!  I also really want a church that offers Adoration, so this was definitely on my musts list :).  Don't know exactly what you want out of a new church community, please refer to #5, and ASK FOR HELP!  Ask your spirital friends what their favorite thing is about their church, and go from there.   3. Go forth and seek the Lord. When you've narrowed it down a bit, go to mass at the church of your choice (if there are several, try one each week).  There's no other way to decide if you really enjoy the church without going to a service and meeting the members.  The new church we attended on Sunday had members that were so welcoming.  We didn't feel out of place and it was great.    4. Do not be afraid. Trying new things and meeting new people can be overwhelming and a daunting task.  Don't be afraid to really take that step and venture out.  If you don't want to go alone, get a friend to go with you!   5. Ask for help. If you're lost, stuck, or just don't know where to turn, ask for help.  You never know who may have the knowledge you are seeking.  Upon finding the church we attended this past Sunday, my co-worker also stepped out and asked a friend of hers for any suggestions for my husband and me.  I haven't heard back from her yet, but in the meantime, we have a front-runner!  Don't be afraid to ask others for help.  Whether it be co-workers, friends, family ... like I said, you just never know who holds the key to unlocking exactly what it is you want!      I am so blessed to be on this journey and for all of the newness that comes along with it.  I'm excited for what our future holds for both myself and my husband in relation with this new church.  Fingers crossed!  And lots of prayers going up.  

---> Crazy Love <---

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. - 1 Corinthians 10:31

Recently, my coworker showed up with the audio book, Crazy Love.  She handed it to me and said I could listen to it if I wanted to, as she had other things to do that day - the audiobook was on sale so she picked up a copy.  I agreed to listen to it because I had seen it in the store in paperback several times, I just never splurged to make the purchase.  The book cover alone struck my interest.  It's simple, but so attention grabbing.  And the red is perfect.  Oh, and the audiobook is read by the author, which is so unbelievably awesome to really hear his passion come to life.  Now, I have my own copy.

This book is about God's overwhelming love for us.  Yes, all of us.  It is also a difficult book in that it brings all of your fears, dreams, beliefs, and wants to the surface.  Let me explain. 

Francis Chan begins by saying, "Stop praying."  Wait, what?  He continues by asking what you would do if he were to tell you to stop praying to God?  Prayer is essential in my life, but we must remember to not only pray about our struggles and what we need (or think we need).  We must remember to also pray for the things that we have been blessed with.  Pray to God and thank Him!  Take a few minutes to look at The Awe Factor of God that Francis Chan discusses in the first chapter.  It's only 3 minutes, and it's just a reminder of how awesome our God truly is!

Why would God create more than 350 billion galaxies that generations of people never saw or knew existed?  Maybe it's to show us just how BIG our God is and how insignificant we are.  Take a minute to think about how exactly so many hundreds of things must function correctly in order for our lives to work just how they do day in and day out.  God didn't have to make hundreds of different kinds of bananas.  He didn't have to put thousands of species of trees in the Amazon jungle.  He didn't have to create so many different kinds of laughter (think about all the different laughs of your friends).  But He did.  Have you ever marveled at these things?  The point of it all is His glory.  His art speaks for Himself. 

There are hundreds of things that distract us from God.  Man, is that an understatement or what?!  But with those things in our daily lives, we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him.  Yes, every single day.  "But I don't have time."  I'm so over that statement - it's ridiculous!  It is true that you have time for whatever is important for your life.  Your priorities will always outshine anything else on your agenda.  Always.  So, make your relationship with God a priority.  Even if you only take 15 minutes or half an hour every morning or at a point throughout your day, you're showing everyone, including yourself, that God is a priority in your life.  

Going along with that is when we look at our relationship with God as a chore, as a sacrifice.  When we're doing this, we're getting the glory, not God.  So many times it's easy to say, "Look what I do for God.  Look what I sacrifice for Him!"  Instead, when we sacrifice, give, and suffer, we can rejoice because we know that God rewards us.  We're always the recipients of His great and manifold gifts, not the givers.  Never the givers. 

If you merely pretend that you enjoy God or love him, he knows.  You can't fool Him.  Instead, tell Him how you feel.  Tell Him that He's not the most important thing in this life to you and that you're sorry for that.  Tell Him that you've been lukewarm and what you've chosen over Him time and time again.  Tell Him how you want to experience true satisfaction and pleasure and joy in your relationship with Him.  Tell Him you want to love Him more than anything on this earth.  Tell Him what you love about Him, what you appreciate, and what brings you joy.  Tell Him, "I'm not strong enough to love you and to walk with you.  I need you deeply and desperately.  I believe you are worth it, that you're better than anything else I could have in this life or the next.  Take all of me; have your way with me." 

We question God:

• Why did you make me with this body instead of that one?
• Why are so many people dying of starvation?
• Why are there so many planets with nothing living on them?
• Why is my family so messed up?
• Why don't you make yourself more obvious to the people that need you?

The answer to each of these questions is simple: because he's God.  He has more of a right to ask us why so many people are starving.  As much as we want God to explain Himself to us, His creation, we are in no place to demand that He give an account to us.  Could it be your arrogance that makes you think God owes you an explanation?  God is fair and just.

Worrying implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.  Stress says the things we're involved in are more important to merit our impatience, our lack of patience towards others, or our tight grip of control.  These two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in our lives are somehow exceptional.  I, for one, am dumb enough to forget that this life is all about God and not about me at all.  I am constantly learning this lesson over and over again.  And that's okay.  God forgives me for my sins, and He knows that I am diligently working to strengthen my relationship with Him and follow His ways.  God is good.  Recently, I've been dealing with anxiety.  I know I'm not alone in this, but I recently read another blogger's challenges with this culprit.  Casey was so sweet as to offer this advice: The thoughts that I'm a 'wuss' or that I should be able to handle life in general (re: anxiety) - those are all words from the devil.  The devil wants me to feel alone, but we have to remember that we are NEVER alone.  We always have someone to turn to, most importantly God.  He is always listening.  We also have our spiritual partners - no matter how close you truly are, you know they are there for you in those desperate times.  How true that is!  And such a great reminder.  Thank you, Casey.   

You could die before you finish reading this post.  I could die before I finish it.  It's easy to think about today being just another day, preoccupied by appointments and to-do lists.  But we forget that there is nothing normal about today.  Today is a blessing from God.  Today, so many people are not as lucky as you are to be at work, healthy, reaping rewards.  The majority of us take each day for granted.  Think about driving down the road at 65mph only a few feet away from cars going the opposite direction at the same speed.  Someone would only have to jerk his or her arm and you'd be dead.  It's reality.  It's crazy that we think today is just another day to do whatever we want.  We say things about our plans for the future when we don't even know if we will be around tomorrow.  Be thankful for every day that God does not forget to wake you up.  We all have a 'due date', but only God knows when our time on earth is done.  Don't take another day for granted.  Praise Him and give thanks where thanks is due.  Would you be okay with your thoughts and actions if you were gone from this earth at the end of the week?  How about in the next few hours?  The next thirty minutes?  By the time you're finished reading these words? 

All of these topics (and more!) are discussed in not even half of the book.  Seriously, it's deep stuff, but every single issue and topic is backed by Scripture.  That's right, proof.  Don't be delusional.  Don't be a lukewarm follower and lover of Christ.  Seek more knowledge - seek for Him to place His hands on your heart and lead you to follow in His way and do His will. 

You, my brothers and sisters,  were called to be free.  But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.  For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." - Galatians 5:13-14