Granny Time

About this time of the year is when it really hits me HARD that my granny is no longer with us.  I know she is in a better place and everything, but I miss her endlessly and wish I had more time with her.  We didn't always see eye to eye (but then again, I was in junior high/high school and didn't know much better), but I know we had a special bond that will never be taken from me.  She was always there when I needed her, and she was even there when I didn't KNOW I needed her, but she knew.  She had things about her that not everyone liked, but I know that my family was always glad she was there. 

This year is especially hard, and I honestly didn't realize it at first.  Being in a new apartment where I have room for a tree, I needed a Christmas tree to put up.  So, I talked to my cousin, and now the Christmas tree that I use is the one my grandma used for so many years.  You can definitely tell it's been through a lot of wear and tear, but it's nothing a few strings of lights and whatnot can't fix.  Seeing it up in my apartment every day kind of ate away at me until I realized what was wrong.  I miss seeing it put up in her house and looking forward to everyone being crammed in her living room so we can open gifts.  The holidays are hard without her, as I'm sure they're hard for any family that has suffered a loss.

I have many of her things up around my apartment so that I am constantly reminded of her, but the holidays are just the worst.  I miss my granny and I just really wish I had more time with her so that I could express just how much she meant to me, because I know as a kid, I didn't show her as much as I should have....but then again, I was a kid!  Seeing her in the last few days of her life was the hardest.  And no matter what, I can never think of her and not think of her in those days when she suffered the most.  I know I'm supposed to remember the good times and everything, but it broke my heart to see her in pain.  But every time I think of her in that hospital bed, I also remember just how peaceful she looked after she died.  I was in her living room with my brother when she passed away, but I will never forget hearing the news and being heartbroken as I was driven nearby to the nursing home. 

Granny, you are always in my heart and I am thankful for everything you ever did for me...I know it was a lot!  You were there for me when no one else was, and I am eternally grateful for that.  You were a very strong and independent woman, and I can only pray that I will be even half of that as I grow up.  I will never forget you!  You touched my heart in ways no one else could or will.  I love you.

I cherish the ring my mom had made for me in my granny's memory.  That was the #1 thing on my Christmas list last year and she made sure I got it.  I now wear that ring daily on a chain around my neck so that her memory is as close to my heart as possible.

House of Night

I've read the Harry Potter series and the whole Twilight saga, but I must admit, the House of Night book series is seriously amazing.  Seriously.  I just finished the 5th book of the series and I'm very tempted to get dressed, get in my car, get gas because it's practically on empty, and drive down 183 to go buy the next book, Tempted.  Ironic huh? :).  But seriously, I started reading the first book about 2 weeks ago, and I'm already onto the last one of the new installment.  Yes, it's so bad ass that P.C. and Kristin Cast continued it with an installment!  From beginning to end, each book has captivated me, and it's all I could think about!  I haven't done this much reading in a long time, which is good because I've missed it and I'm done with school for 5 weeks and I deserve to do a little reading for fun!  And fun it is!  It's so refreshing to be able to just sit down with a good book and get lost in it, and then to pick up the next book of the series and get lost in that one too!  I'm pretty sure Colten is sick of me reading...but I did get him interested in this House of Night series that he's like 100 pages into the first book, Marked! :).  Heck yes!  Anyway, these books sort of remind me of a Twilight/Harry Potter mix (which is why I mentioned them earlier), but it's wayyy better! In my opinion anyway.  So, I'm just throwing this out there so that more people can be introduced to the House of Night and Zoey Redbird (yes, there's some Cherokee Indian stuff in them too...along with the whole vampyre moving to a place away from humans...).  Definitely a good read!

You've Got to be Kidding Me

So I took Exam 2 for my History class this morning and then took my History final at noon.  Now that's a LOT of history, but anyway.  That's not the point.  Our professor said that he was going to post our grades this afternoon, and I was excited because I felt very confident after I turned in my final.  So ... I came home, relaxed a bit, took a shower, and then I checked my grades online.  I looked at my grade and it was a freakin D!!  Hell no it wasn't supposed to be a D!  I had all of my grades and calculated it and I should have a B.  Uh, that's TWO letter grades difference.  What the hell?!  So ... I look at the details of my grades and see that my grade from Exam 2 that I took this morning wasn't there...it was showing a zero.  Soooo not ok!  So then I start to have a panic attack, thinking that it was too late to take the second exam and that I would actually have a zero for that grade and a D overall.  I email my professor, but that obviously could take days for a response.  Then I called him at his office, even though his office hours ended an hour earlier.  I was super lucky that he was still there ... he said that I had just caught him before he left.  Turns out he just didn't pick up the tests from the Testing Center yet and so he didn't have my grade for Exam 2.  He explained that if what I was telling him was true, that I took the exam this morning and whatnot, that I would be fine and he would try to have my grade fixed by Friday.  You've got to be kidding me!  I had a major panic attack over nothing.  This is no small thing ... I have to have a 2.0 GPA at the end of this semester (tomorrow) to stay at ACC.  And that D would totally not help.  But now that I've talked to the professor, everything will be fine.  I even have proof that I took the exam this morning and the grade I got ... so it's not just my word against his.  :).  So, long story short, my emotions have been at an all time low and then straight to an all time high, realizing that my GPA is good and I just have to take my Chem final tomorrow and be DONE with this semester.  But seriously...you've got to be kidding me!

Oh, by the way, I kicked ASS on my final! :) Hence the B! Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Truckin' Along.

Only 2 more days of stress and tests and then it's another semester down! :). I'm excited for Christmas break ...4 Christmases, starting next weekend on the 19th, LOTS of family, and 5 weeks off from school! How can I not be excited about that??

I'm also looking forward to spring semester because I'll be starting my paralegal classes! Changing my major might just be what I've been needing for a long time! I haven't been this excited for school in quite some time, so ignore all of that excitement because when it comes down to it, who the heck is EVER excited for school??

Oh, and my apartment is B.A.D.A.S.S. Just sayin. It's by far the best apartment I've had since moving to Austin. It has a fireplace and vaulted ceilings. Hello?? GORGEOUS! I love it even better now that it's freakin clean as heck because Colten is amazing and cleaned it on his days off while I studied my ass off for finals this week. Plus, I have our tree up and the Christmas decorations, so again ... GORGEOUS! I love it, in case that wasn't obvious. I also love living off of Mopac and in North Austin. It's a very nice change from Downtown and 35. I don't like that it's so far to Hilary and Josh's apartment, but it gives me a chance to do my own thing, so it's good.

My relationship with Colten is amazing, to sum it up in one word. Next Saturday we will have been together for 6 months! It seems shorter than that but longer at the same time. I know, it's weird but whatever. I have never been so happy with anyone, so all is good! We care about each other and don't piss each other off (that's an AWESOME characteristic of a relationship don't ya think?). We also have never really had a big fight, which to me and compared to all of my past relationships, is the best thing ever! Of course we have mini-arguments (and I mean MINI), but it's healthy. And he never gets mad and storms off...we talk everything through until things are okay. :) Long story short, I'm happy! And I'm pretty sure he's happy too... :). And we both deserve to be happy, so that's all that matters!

Ok, enough ranting. It's time for me to get back to studying for my 2 History tests tomorrow. And after that, I have a Government final, a Chem final, and a Chem Lab final .... and then I'm officially done on Thursday at 1:15pm. Yay!

Badass Updates!

Ok, so it's been forever since I last posted, but better late than never, right? :) I guess this post will just be a bunch of updates ...

School is "almost" over. Well, this one class anyway. I'm currently procrastinating writing a paper for Comp 2 ... I decided blogging was a better waste of my time! Ha. Anyway, this class is going very well, up until this paper anyway. Time flies when you're having fun! ACC is so much better than UT, I must admit. It's much more relatable, seeing as I grew up in the small town of Schulenburg, TX! My professor actually cares, knows who I am, and realizes when I'm not there, which just blows my mind! It's a room of about 20 students instead of a freakin lecture hall of 200. Much more my style :). But starting the middle of next week, my next class starts...Intro to Literature. Sounds fun, right? Hmm...

On a more upbeat subject (who wants to hear about stupid summer classes anyway?!), I'm pumped about moving in about a month!! I can't wait to get out of this neighborhood and into an apartment that I absolutely fell in love with! Only two downfalls: 1 - packing up my entire life, once again. 2 - painting this apartment back to the boring dull colors that it was. Not looking forward to either of those, but it is what it is! I just can't stress enough how ready I am!!! And I actually planned it better this time around: I have people to help me this time! Other than my immediate family, my cousins, Lisa and Nathan, have offered to help, so they're coming, along with the new man in my life, Colten Jay! He's already requested off that day from work! I know, how sweet, right? You have no idea...

Since I'm on the subject of Colten, might as well be the next topic! :). I am lucky enough to be with the most amazing man on the planet! And I'm not kidding. His name is Colten and he's from Yorktown. We've been together for about a week and a half, but things are moving quickly (don't worry... ;) ). I've never felt this way about someone before, and I know he truly cares about me. He's the guy that I've always dreamed of being with, but now my dreams have become reality! He calls me in the mornings to make sure I'm awake and make it to class safely, he texts me randomly throughout the day just to tell me he's thinking about me and that he loves me, he always knows when something is bothering me or when I'm upset, and he does everything in his power to make me happy! I know, I'm getting all mushy, but hey, I think I deserve it! :). I've truly never been this happy with someone, and now ... it's my turn! I love going to see him and spending time with him. It doesn't matter what we're doing, we always have fun together! I've never missed someone so much before ... but it's totally worth it the second we get to see each other again! I can't wait for him to move to Austin. It's going to be a wild ride, and I'm ready for it!

I guess that's really all as of right now. Everything else is pretty much the same. I still have an amazingly badass family, and my friends are awesome. So...that's it in a nutshell! Ok, not a nutshell...a computer monitor? Wow...anyway! Until next time!!

Days Like This...

Days like today make me so thankful for everything that I have! There's no particular reason for this happening, but as I was sitting here trying to find something to do, I started listening to some music on You Tube. Two particular songs got me thinking: Hilary Duff's "Someone's Watching Over Me" and Group 1 Crew's "Forgive Me". They are both very amazing songs, and no matter what mood I'm in, they always make me take a deep breath and think about the things I've done and been through.

I'm very content and happy with who I am. I live my life for myself and do the things that make me happy. I've been through my share of hardships and failure in my life, but it's only made me stronger, and it helps me to appreciate the things that I do have!

It's been happening for a while now, but my faith in God has been growing stronger and stronger! I feel a very close connection with Him and hope it only continues to get stronger and healthier. If it weren't for Him, I wouldn't be here today. Whatever comes my way, I know I can handle it. He never makes me face something I can't handle.

I'm also very proud of myself for sticking up for my morals and not giving in to the things I knew weren't right for me. There comes a time in a person's life where you know you just have to stick up for yourself and make your own dreams come true, which is what I'm trying to do! I've never been a big "party" fan or wanted to live the stereotypical "college life". I don't need that to fulfill me or to make me happy. So many people have tried to tell me otherwise, but I know them to be wrong. I have no regrets!

I'm also extremely excited to finally be feeling like myself again! I have many people in my life who are always there for me to turn to if I need them for any reason, and for them, I am truly thankful! I finally feel truly happy with the way things are going. Whatever happens, happens...but I'm ready for the ride of my life!!


**On a side note, today's quote is AWESOME!
"I would rather MAKE my name than inherit it..."
Just thought I'd throw that out there :).**

Life Update

First of all, thank God this semester is over! :). Although summer classes start on June 1st, I'm so glad I'm over all of the stress this semester brought on.

As for everything else, well, I'm just taking life as it comes these days. I used to be the type of person that would stress over everything, worrying whether or not I was upsetting someone or if there was anything I could do to help someone out. Little did I know, I was the one that needed help. For the longest time, I got so caught up in ignoring myself and how I felt that I didn't even know who I was anymore. But all that's changed now. :). I'm not seeking for someone to help, but that doesn't mean I won't lend a helping hand if need be. I love to have the people around me to be happy instead of sad or upset, but if they choose to be that way and don't want to be helped, so be it! This is my life, and I'm starting to live it to its fullest! I also used to try to always be liked by everyone, but now, if you don't like me, who cares?! Unless you're someone important in my life, it's your loss.

As for the romance in my life, it's a little .... nonexistent. I used to be afraid to be myself around certain guys that I liked, but then I wasn't being true to myself. I also was so afraid of whether or not he would like me and blah, blah, blah, but there are so many people out there, I know I will find someone who will love me for who I am and that can put up with my randomness and sarcastic humor. I'm not in a huge rush, but I have so much love to give that I can't wait to share it! :). It will come ...

Other than that, life is pretty great right now. There are a few bumps in the road here and there, but nothing that I can't handle! Like I said, this is MY life, and it would pretty much suck without me ;).

Swine Flu

This swine flu epidemic is stupid. Why cause an uproar about it?! Apparently, those "diagnosed" with this flu get better even without any help. 40,000 people die every year due to the regular flu...why not close schools and extra-curricular activities due to that?! I might understand all of the ruckus if it was deadly and those infected couldn't be cured...but they can and do! Yes, it is a good idea to "maybe" make children and parents aware if there was a serious outbreak in that particular school, but nationwide?! The children of the closed schools just go to malls, parks, and other public areas, possibly being more exposed than if they were to just stay in school. It just doesn't make any sense to me. The things people in this world worry about today just blow my mind. I have gotten email after email from the University of Texas telling everyone not to go to campus or classes if you have the symptoms of the swine flu:
As stated in previous communications, faculty, staff, and students who show signs of flu-like illness should not come to campus. Symptoms of the H1N1 virus include:
sudden fever
coughing
sore throat
body aches and pains/ fatigue.
So, you must not attend class if you have these symptoms, but you must go if you are vomiting, have a pulled muscle which causes extreme pain and discomfort, etc. ?! Using excuses like these do not permit you to be absent from class, unless you have a doctor's note. But who goes to the doctor just because you're feeling a bit under the weather? Usually, you feel better within a day or two, plus a lot of people can't afford to run to the doctor every time something doesn't feel exactly right. This baffles me!

I do understand that people HAVE died because of the swine flu, but people die every day because of all different kinds of diseases, viruses, cancers, etc. My heart goes out to every family and person affected by death, which is, by the way, a part of life, as much as I may hate it.

Oh Swine Flu ... how you make me laugh!

One More Week!

Super excited to only have one more week left this semester! I have an eight page research paper due tomorrow (it's on alcohol use during pregnancy...so it's not hard!) and then it's on to next week! I will receive a writing prompt on Monday and will have to write a paper by Wednesday of next week, and then I have three exams next Thursday. After that, I have one final exam on the 13th and I'm DONE! I am so excited! This year has been hell, and it's finally coming to an end *sigh*.

I've been quite lucky though in one aspect of this semester. My 8am class is Theories of Substance Abuse and Prevention -- basically a Drug class. Not once have I dreaded going to this class! I must say, it's a great class to have at eight o'clock in the morning! It's interesting and very entertaining! It's better than having some class that's boring as hell and hard to stay awake in. ;).

So, long story short, I can't wait to have a week of relaxation! It's long overdue.

Best.Performance.Ever.

Papa Roach always performs 110%! I've seen them live twice, and both times have been amazing! This last time was in Belton, TX. Hilary, Josh, Chelsea, and I went to see them, Avenged Sevenfold, and Buckcherry. Papa Roach won hands down! This is a video I recorded of their song "Hollywood Whore". Poor Paris Hilton...



video

Addicted? You betcha!

So here's a FULL LIST of every tv series that I follow. About time huh?
-NCIS
-House
-CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
-CSI: NY
-Survivor
-Grey's Anatomy
-Private Practice
-The Mentalist
-Dancing With the Stars
-Surviving Suburbia
-My Boys
-Big Bang Theory
-Roommates
-Greek
-Friday Night Lights
-Flashpoint
-The Best Years
-Criminal Minds
-America's Best Dance Crew
-Fringe
-The Bachelor
-Castle
-Bones
-America's Next Top Model
-Army Wives

Ok, I think that's it. Oh, and this was just this Spring! I'll post a new list in the Summer and Fall. =).

B.

Trial

So, my first blog is going to be random ramblings so that I can see the way it is going to appear to all of you viewers (which may only be one person but oh well!). This post is going to help me make my blog way more amazing so bear with me as I learn! Maybe we could learn together...

B.
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