Monday FUNDAY!

Usually Mondays are a drag, but not this one! It started this morning with running a few errands: to ACC to get some stuff I needed from a counselor and admissions, and then to Target optical to pick up my glasses! I was soooo tired of having headaches every single day. But that's all over now!! :). And to make things more awesome (as if that were possible), while I was there, the delivery guy came and my sunglasses were in the shipment!! Pretty awesome!! Although I've been dealing with the nausea and dizziness all day from the new prescription, it's finally getting better and I LOVE THEM!

After picking them up, Colten and I drove to Hallettsville to meet with Father John to get going on our wedding stuff. It went pretty smooth!! He's such a sweet guy and made it very easy to talk to him. After we left from there, we headed to Schulenburg to drop off some papers at mom and dad's house. Dad was off today so it worked out well. Instead of dropping them off and heading back to Austin, Colten went to lay down and I helped dad with various things, but most importantly, I got to spend quality time with him...just me and him!! It was a lot of fun!!! Have I mentioned lately how much I absolutely LOVE my family?? No?? Well I must be slacking then because I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!!!! :).

We got a lot done and waited for mom to get home from work. We even had burgers grilled and ready to eat! Yummy!! It was definitely much better than the frozen lasagna I would have had at home :). Hehe. After visiting for a little bit, Colten and I had to head back to the ATX so he can get to work tonight and on time. So that's where we are now...we just went through Bastrop :). Blogging really helps the time pass quickly! a nutshell, I had a fabulous day and I am super blessed to have an amazing fiance that loves me sooooo much and an awesome family that I love to death! :) :)

Awesome Weekend

This weekend was pretty awesome. Besides the fact that I had to open at work on Friday, it was all fun! Colten's mom drove up to Austin for a visit and ended up spending the night. We hit up Subway and HEB and just hung out at the apartment for a while. I also couldn't fight it anymore and ended up taking a nap. Haha. Colten also rented Wheel of Fortune on the wii. That afternoon, we also went for a little hike down the trail behind our apt complex. Pretty awesome views! Anyway, Saturday morning rolled around and we had a late start but it felt good to sleep in a bit!! We left for PetsMart, where Leslie bought some fish for Heather and also decided she wanted a tank and some fish! So we got her hooked up and she found a great deal on the tank. After PetsMart, we took the fish back to the apt and then headed to Mount Bonnell! We also took Ace. It was great exercise for anyone and I was super fun! GORGEOUS views! I hadn't been there since April when Colten proposed! :). So after that, we headed home for some enchiladas and more wii time. Eventually, Leslie headed back to Yorktown and Colten and I took a nap. I was exhausted!! Here are some pics from the mountain!!

This last pic is one from our hike on Friday. Pretty awesome!

No Way?!

I'll start off by saying that I am truly blessed and grateful for all that God has given me, including all of the luxuries that I get to enjoy.  Among those are the fabulous cell phones that we know and love.  Anyway, I was searching for apps on my iPhone the other day and came across the Mantis Bible Study app.  Intrigued, I downloaded it (for free!) and began to check it out.  It turns out that it's FABULOUS!  It's basically a digital bible for my phone. 

So now that I have discovered this, I have a new goal.  I am going to start at the beginning and read the entire bible from front to back on a daily basis.  I may not get there in a year, but I plan to read a little each day and re-discover my faith and deepen my knowledge of Christ and His life.  I know this may not seem like something to blog about, but I will tell you that I am super excited about this!!!  It will be at my fingertips and whenever I am bored or have a few minutes, I will read a few verses of Scripture.  How awesome?!  :)



So, I had been thinking for a while that I had been wanting a small puppy. After discussing it with several people, I decided it was something I really wanted to do. So last Saturday we began the search! I knew that I wanted to adopt one because for one, I couldn't afford to buy one from a breeder, and two, I hate how there are so many animals in shelters...they need loving families and homes!

We started with the Humane Society of Williamson County. All they had were huge dogs, which would be super mean to coop up inside an apartment. So next we headed to the Humane Society of Austin. They had some puppies, but they were labs and would obviously grow to be a very large dog. So, in one last attempt, we headed to Town Lake Animal Center. Walking around, we saw a lot of cute small dogs, but I had my heart set on raising a dog from a puppy. Then we saw them...the three ADORABLE 2 month old puppies!! As soon as we walked up to them, Colten spotted the white one. I loved it! We were called in to the adoption center and we put in our interest on "Courage". The lady gave us a set of keys and a vest so we could go spend some time with him to see how he behaved and whatnot. We went back to the center after that and said that we definitely wanted him!! Turns out that two minutes after we put in our interest, someone else did too. Talk about perfect timing!! So I submitted my application and the lady we were talking to started our paperwork. We got him! He had been neutered the day before and had all of his vaccinations up to date so we could take him home that day!! I was super excited!! We got all of his paperwork and headed over to the next building to pay and pick him up! They brought him out and then we brought him home (after stopping at petsmart to get the essential puppy stuff).

So here we are, five days later and this little guy has stolen my heart! He's so content and playful...and adorable of course. He's only had a few accidents, but the majority of the time, he knows when we put the leash on him and take him out, he goes straight to the grass and goes potty! :). We are currently working on the crate training but that's going to be a long process. He HATES being confined to the bathroom at night and he whines & cries, but he settles down and is always excited to see either me or Colten in the mornings.

We took him to the vet to get a general check-up and the vet concluded that he has pneumonia! Poor guy! He has this dry heave thing going on that breaks my heart, but he's on antibiotics for 2 weeks...hopefully it'll help! But everyone that meets him agrees that he's such a good puppy and he's so adorable! We also decided on "Ace" for his name. I think he likes it! So in all, I love him and I'm so glad I decided to do this! I have a new outlook on dogs now that I never thought I'd have.


JKL?  Yes.  Just keep livin.  Matthew McConaughey started the j.k. livin foundation after he came across the saying while dealing with the death of his father.  The foundation helps teenagers make healthy and smart decisions/choices to become the best men and women they can be.  McConaughey is said to live by this saying, helping him get through the good and bad times life throws at him, and it helps him stay true to himself and what he stands for. 

This saying is SO TRUE.  No matter what is thrown at you, you've got to j.k. livin.  Just keep livin.  If you don't, whatever has got you so down will keep you down, not allowing you to live your life to its fullest.  If you stay down, you'll miss out on life's great opportunities.  I know for me, some days it's hard to keep moving forward, but I always manage to do it!  These days, I feel like there is just not enough time in the day to get everything done, which is why I believe I am suffering from exhaustion.  But I finally overcame that today!  After being super productive this morning with class and a LOT of errands, I decided to take a four hour nap.  I usually don't do this because then I feel like I've wasted the day, but my body so badly needed the rest.  After I woke up, I felt amazing!  Yes, it was already five o'clock, but I still have plenty of time to work on my assignment for Legal Research.  I am truly blessed to have my amazing family and friends supporting me, especially when the exhaustion started interrupting my life and disallowing me to do my job at work.  I need to do what's best for me, and right now, that's to just keep livin.  :)

Thank you Matthew McConaughey, for helping me step back from the rush of life and truly see that I need to take care of myself, make smart and healthy decisions, and JUST KEEP LIVIN!!

Truly Blessed

Although some days it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's always there.  Just when you think things can't get any worse, they probably do, but the good news is that once you hit rock bottom, things can only look up!  After dealing with everything that has been thrown at me, I am in a truly amazing place right now and I thank God for everything He has given me.  In only a year, my life has changed dramatically ... FOR THE BETTER! :).  I am engaged to the sweetest, most romantic man on the planet that truly loves me for who I am, I have the most amazing family that supports me through absolutely everything, and I have awesome friends!  I am doing amazing in school right now, and I really believe I've found my calling!  This law stuff is really clicking with me and I just got two A's over the summer session in Civil Litigation and Evidence.  I'm pretty proud!!  Ever since I changed my major, things seem to be looking up.  So I know it's meant to be! 

As far as work goes, I know I'm not in the place I would like to be, but I also know that it will come in time.  God has His plan for me, and in order to get where I want and need to be in order to support a family and be TRULY happy to settle down, I have to go through the hardships and the tough, laboring work so that I will appreciate it that much more when that time comes for me to move on to better things.  I am just thankful to have a job right now in this poor economy and super hard & competitive job market.  :) 

Life.Is.Good. :)  Right now I'm just keepin on keepin on and look forward to starting this fall semester of school.  That's one more closer to graduating!  I know I'll only have an Associates Degree, but that may be all I need, and I'm okay with that!!  I also am super proud of my parents for getting through all of this house stuff.  And I'm soooooo happy for them!  I can't wait to see the final product and for them to get to move in.  They definitely deserve it and it's wayyy overdue! :) 

Brain Overload

Now with wedding plans underway, there is SO MUCH running through my head these days.  This past Saturday, we went to David's Bridal to try on some bridesmaid dresses so that we could FINALLY decide on the color scheme for the wedding.  Well, not only did we decide on the color scheme, we narrowed it down to three possible bridesmaid dresses, and we chose the junior bridesmaid and flower girl dress.  Whew!  We got a lot accomplished!  And of course, I couldn't be in there for so long and NOT try on wedding dresses ... so I tried on about 5.  And I fell in LOVE with the second one!  Too bad it's $1250.  Yikes!  The sales lady said that it could possibly go on sale for $99.99.  If that happens, it's SO MINE! But with that running through my head and just all kinds of other wedding details brain is a mess.  Plus, I received an email last week about a job opening.  A law firm downtown is looking for a part-time paralegal working about 20 hours a week.  SCORE!  I made my resume today and sent it in, so there's definitely a possibility of a job interview this week!  This could be the beginning of my law career.  *fingers crossed*  I really hope I have a shot at this.  Only God knows.

So, between all of the wedding plans and the possible job interview ... it's a mess.  Let's hope for the best!


Today was an amazing day!  For the most part, I was pretty productive considering the day started out pretty late (because I slept til 11am). Hehe.  I was in no mood whatsoever to do much of anything considering it was my day off from work and I didn't have school to worry about.  However, that changed!  I began cooking chicken alfredo for a late lunch and got fed up with the mess in this apartment.  So, I cooked dishes and cleaned the entire kitchen.  I also worked on the living room somewhat, which is to be finished tomorrow.  Colten also helped a lot with cleaning up and just picking up around the place.   After we ate, we decided to go swimming.  After weeks worth of attempts, the water was FINALLY warm enough to be comfortable enough to swim in!  : ) YAY!  So, for three hours, we swam.  Instead of using diving sticks, we used quarters to throw in and hunt down, which gave us something to do so we wouldn't be bored after only thirty minutes.  It was a great way to just relax and have fun.  We haven't got to spend time together like that in such a long time.  It was way overdue!  I absolutely loved every minute of it!  Of course, if I would have let him, Colten would have stayed in there for AGES!  That boy is a fish, I swear!! Haha.  We also took a few pics and this one is by far my favorite one!  I played with it a little using ColorSplash on my iPhone :).  Haha!  Anyway, then we went for a little walk and came home and just relaxed a bit more and watched the new Prince & Me movie.  It was cute!  So basically today was awesome and much needed.  I definitely got my dose of Vitamin D! : )  And my dose of fiance time!  : )

Meltdown 101

So it seems that I'm a PRO in Meltdown 101.  As soon as one thing gets to me bad enough for me to really be upset by it and sit down and cry, everything else snowballs in on me and I experience the full extent of my fears, worries, stress, and many other emotions and feelings.  I think a big part of it is stressing due to finals.  It was my first semester taking my law classes so it was quite stressful...however, I did VERY well in every one of those classes, including my Contracts class, so it feels pretty great.  But it seems that today, everything else overshadowed that greatness.

I know it seems stupid and childish, but I've never been very good dealing with my feelings when it comes to REALLY wanting something and realizing it might not become a reality.  Again, as soon as I say what it is, you're very likely to just laugh, but it is what it is!  Colten came home with the idea that he could get me an iPhone.  Yes...there you have it!  A guy he works with (let's just say he's not working just for the money!!) had one laying around because he switched to T-Mobile soon after purchasing the iPhone.  So, there it was...just laying there not being used.  Colten came home with it this morning when he got off of work and pretty much said I could have it.  For those of you who don't truly understand this situation: if I went out and bought it, I would spend nearly $400 if not more.  And here it is, in my possession for NOTHING.  The only thing I would have to pay for would be a case to keep it protected and the monthly $30 data charge.  At first, that seemed like nothing, but the more I thought about it and the more my parents questioned me, I really do understand that $30 may not sound like much, but it does add up quickly!  And I also know that I could save that money and spend it on something to help pay for my dream wedding that will be happening in the not-so-far-off future.  But how can I turn away from a deal like this?  Well, I broke down about never having money that I need/want and still being in school, being totally sick of school, working a part-time job at basically minimum wage, and living in a small apartment that I thought I loved at first but not so much anymore.  Once I became upset about possibly not getting to activate the iPhone to start using, everything else piled up and boy was it crazy!  And this was only about an hour ago.  But once again, my mother saves the day and talks to me about it.  For some reason, just talking to her about something and getting just a little reassurance sure helps tons!  I have no idea where I would be without my mommy! I ♥ her!  So, now I'm feeling better, but I'm still anxiously awaiting the final decision of my parents to tell me whether or not I can activate the phone or if I will be giving it back to Colten to give to the guy at work he got it from.

I really do understand where they are coming from.  Although I'm paying for "most" of my groceries and gas (I've also been paying my AT&T U-verse bill for internet and tv) with my paychecks, there is no way possible for me to pay all of my bills with my previously mentioned part-time basically minimum wage job.  Not with my rent being about $700 each month!  And thinking of all the other things I want and need, it does seem very childish.  But what can I say?! I got my heart set on it and when that's just not a very good picture!  However, in my defense, I did downgrade my tv service to save about $30 a month and once I move in July, I will be paying $300 less on rent, and I will be splitting my U-verse bill AND my electric bill with Colten.  So, that's a lot of money saved!  Hopefully my parents see it that way too and agree to let me keep the phone :).  We shall see (hopefully soon)!

So, there's Meltdown 101 for today...hopefully for the week!  I don't know if I can take another one this week, but the good news is that after tomorrow at 1pm, I will be done with this semester and will officially have my first semester of law classes under my belt!  I just can't wait to graduate next year and get a job with my degree working with a law office or government agency :).  Sounds exciting...I know!!  Sadly, I will be working all week, but it's money in the bank and more to save towards bills, groceries, gas, and all kinds of other things that must be paid for!

I must say, though, that although I do have meltdowns and feel that things just aren't going my way or whatnot, I do sit back and realize that my life is NOT.THAT.HARD.  I am very lucky and truly blessed compared to all of those that have it way worse.  But when it hits, it hits hard and there's not much one can do or say to calm me down and make me see things from someone else's perspective...

When you talk, all I hear is BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

I've had ENOUGH!  I've been employed for a few months now, but I have no money in savings to show for it!  In my own defense, I admit that I haven't been employed in a while so having my own money has been amazing, so obviously I spent a lot of it when I didn't necessarily need to or have to.  But on the other hand, I've had enough!  I'm done wasting money on fast food restaurants and stupid things at HEB on breaks...Finished!  Starting today, I set a goal to eat better and save my money better.  So far so good!  I made a list for the rest of the week, and Colten and I went grocery shopping in between classes earlier today.  So now I have NO REASON to spend money for the rest of the week except for gas :).  And maybe to get some stamps to mail mom's mother's day card!  I'm ready to have food in the house again and to save my money.  And it all starts now! 

On another subject, I only have about a week and a half left of this semester, and the stress begins!  I'm really worried about my Intro to Law class.  His exams are BOGUS, but I made an A on the hopefully I'll do pretty well on the final!  I'm fed up with him though.  This professor goes off on rants about nothing important to the class.  He's gone off on World War II stuff, random Berlin information, random facts and tidbits about some cases he's been a part of, where he goes to conferences and what he does in his spare time.  One would think that the cases he talks about would relate to the topics discussed in class, but they're not.  I feel like I'm teaching myself this information rather than being taught by him.  I've had enough.  I dread this class every week, and thank goodness this is the last lecture class.  I have the final next Tuesday and then I'm DONE with him! :) Yay!  And after next Thursday, the semester is OVER.  This law stuff has been a pretty good change of pace for me.  I've been doing very well in all of my classes (which is a change from my kinesiology classes) and I'm understanding all of this law stuff.  I'm taking Criminal Law and Evidence over the summer, so it'll be interesting!  So far so good!  


So, yesterday was Colten and I's ten month anniversary!  After I got home from class, he told me to get ready and he took me up to Mount Bonnell.  It was gorgeous!  It's very pretty in the day, but way more romantic as it gets darker.  :).  So we were just sitting there looking at the water and talking and just enjoying being together.  Then he stood up, and then he got down on one knee.  He gave his little speech about how he's enjoyed these past ten months together and how much we've grown together.  I could tell he was nervous because he kept saying, "You know that?" after each statement he made.  So, then the waterworks started (from me, of course) and then he asked me to marry him.  I was in shock...but after a few seconds, I said yes.  Immediately upon my saying yes, fireworks went off across the lake.  They were not planned whatsoever, but they were totally awesome!! So then we walked to the other side of the "mountain" and sat on a cliff overlooking the water and just sat there and talked.  It was totally romantic!  After a little while, we decided to go grab a bite to eat at Olive Garden.  Then we came home and enjoyed just spending time together!  That doesn't happen very often considering Colten and I have complete opposite schedules.  When he's at work, I'm sleeping.  When I'm at work, he's sleeping.  And in between there, we go to school.  So it was much needed time together and I loved every minute of it. 

So, now I'm engaged and couldn't be happier!  We are in no hurry whatsoever to get married and want to wait until we become more financially stable.  We are in a good spot right now and are very happy with that!  So I'm on cloud nine and am super excited that things are so amazing right now!  ♥


So, I have this job, right?  Well, this week I worked (well, I will have after today's shift) 35 hours.  When I saw my schedule, I really didn't mind it seeing as it was Spring Break and I could earn some extra money.  Well, Friday I got my schedule for this upcoming week...and I'm scheduled to work 37 hours!!  That's only three hours short of full-time.  If I wanted full-time hours, I would have applied for full-time work.  Anyway, yesterday after coming off of break, I went up to the manager in charge to see which register he wanted me on, and he asked how everything was going and if I had any questions.  Of course I had a question!  I explained to him that I am scheduled for 37 hours next week (starting tomorrow) and asked if I was going to continue getting so many.  He asked how many I wanted and I said low twenty's would be good.  So, long story short, I settled for no more than 25 hours and he is putting in a work rule on my name so that I don't get scheduled for more than 25.  :)  This made me very happy!  Of course I will LOVE the paychecks from these two weeks, but it's overwhelming to work so much and go to school full time.  I'm taking three law classes, plus two other classes...I can't afford to get behind and start doing bad in school...again.  So, I got it all figured out without pissing anyone off, which is always good!

But, I really wish I didn't work today!  My shift is from 1:30 to 10pm tonight.  I have a speech to give on abortion and hate crimes on Thursday, a major midterm on Tuesday for my law class, 3 cases to brief for contracts, and a book to get reading and write a paper on by next Tuesday.  Needless to say I could just use the time today to get stuff done instead of going to work...again.  *sad face*  But it's okay.  I can deal with it for one more week, and then hopefully everything will work out again.  I just really didn't want to be working so many hours, especially when finals come around!!!  Ok, I guess my rant is over so I can get some of the aforesaid work done! :)

blast from the past

February 3, 2009 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  apathetic
Category: Life

So today sucked. Plain and simple right? Well, not so much. I was still stressing over some information I found out last week that really hurts me, or could in the end. Then I woke up to some news not everyone would want to! Actually, I'm pretty sure no one would. So I've been in a funk all day, except for the part when I learned to perform, calibrate, and record an electromyography (EMG)! =). 

Instead of blowing up at the people I was upset with, I got home from school and just tried to calm down. The only thing that worked was calling and talking to my mom. Mothers really do know what to do and say in almost EVERY situation to help!! She helped me to see and understand the other people's situations, but I was still hurt and upset.  After watching the usual Monday night shows on T.V, I found that I started doubting myself and the things I've done to get me where I am today. I've never had a "best friend", but I've been pretty lucky to still have people backing me up, even if they're family! But I wonder if I could've made better decisions or just gone out more. Could I have gone to a different school, said different things, reacted to certain situations differently ...anything. But then I started thinking that you can't live your life wondering about the "what ifs"... and then it hit me...HARD!

I've been through a LOT in my life. I've overcome so much and I've done my share of struggling, to those who doubt that. I've dealt with my share of "bullying" as a kid, not having every luxury most kids I knew had, some family issues for a while there, ... but that was just the beginning. I lost my grandmother to cancer, and I miss her every day of my life! I had a terrifying accident at the age of 16 that traumatized me, and continues to do so to this very day. I've gone through the realization that I killed my little brother, looking at him and knowing I would never see him laugh, succeed, cry, fail ... anything ever again. I won't get into the full details. But by the mere will of God, he saved both me and my brother.  It wasn't our time to go just yet. To this day, I still blame myself for putting someone I love so much in so much pain and misery.  I've been in and out of depressions, but I've held strong and tried to be there for him instead of feeling sorry for myself for doing it to him. Although , logically, I know there was nothing I could do to avoid it, I still blame myself and know I hurt him. I hurt everyone that loved him and me...put them through hell and back. I will NEVER forgive myself for that. Ever. I truly think I may have some neurological problems due to it. I just can't shake it. And I fear I will never do so, which may in itself be a good thing?? I'll never know. After that, I had a falling out with my family, and that hurt me to the core. Even though it was over something stupid, I know I hurt them. And sometimes I think maybe it was the wrong decision on my part. But, I don't regret it. I've been through my share of the asshole boyfriends that have pulled me apart, ripped my heart out, sewed it back up, only to shove it in a blender to beat to a pulp. I've been through the stress of helping those that I love pull through their hardships and become better for it, because that's who I am. I'm STILL dealing with a heart problem, although no one seems to know what it really is! I've gone through homesickness and living on my own in a new, HUGE city. And much more...

But even through all of that, I have come out on top (so far.) I don't know how I make it some days, like today. But then I sit back and think about everything I have and am blessed to have. I have an AMAZING family that is always behind me, whether I'm making bad decisions or good. I have always had a home and someone to love me, food on the table, and a bed to sleep on. There are so many people in this world that are far better off than me, but there are so many that are far worse than I am. My heart goes out to them, and I pray their lives improve, even in the slightest way. I am closer to my family than EVER! I have an amazing boyfriend that helps me see things aren't so bad all the time. Even if we don't end up together through it all, just knowing him and having been together has changed my life for the better! Everything I've been through has been a test, and I'm never faced with anything I can't handle, except for my ONE exception of course. I still can't handle it to this day...and it's been 4 years! Other than that, I try my hardest to pull through all the struggles life throws at me. Everyone has their problems. But everyone also needs to just break down sometimes and have a good cry session!

Whenever I'm feeling this way, I just pull up this song on my itunes and blare it repeatedly for about an hour!

It's such a great song of inspiration and hope. And to help you know that you are not alone in this world of anger, disappointment, hurt, and death. There is always someone that is hurting a bit more than you. At least more than me anyway. Just take a look at it and let it help you improve your outlook on your life and just the way things are.  Although it seems more Christian-oriented, it is still just as impressive to those that aren't religious! The video is really amazing too! Just watch it and you'll know what I mean.

I have my ups and downs, but everyone does. Today was just a ... typical monday!

Going through my myspace blog, this is the one entry that caught my eye.  Going back and reading it, I still find myself tearing up.  I posted this on February 3, 2009...over a year ago.  In simply a year, your life can change in so many ways!  Take mine, for example.  The part about never being able to forgive myself for my accident...WRONG.  After going through some counseling sessions and some meds and just the realization of reality, I know that what happened was not my fault.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that accident is proof.  Has it affected me? Yes.  For the better? Yes.  I still re-live that day ... but afterwards, I calm down and thank God for putting His guiding hand upon my family and saving me and Josh.  I usually re-live it on the anniversary date, March 11, 2005.  But this year, I didn't.  Want to know why?? :)  For one, I had 3 major exams that day so I was distracted.  But I believe another reason it didn't hit me as hard this year is because I've come to terms with it.  There's nothing wrong with me.  I experienced a traumatic event and it took me a while to cope with that, but I'm a better and stronger person because of it.  Also, things in my life are looking up.  I'm looking to the positive aspects of my life and I'm just a lot happier these days.  I will never forget that day, but it most definitely won't affect me the same way it has in the past.

I'm also focusing on myself a lot more these days.  Taking care of myself and doing the things I need to get done so that I can have an amazing future ahead of me is of great importance to me these days.  If someone has a problem with something I'm doing or anything like that, I hope they feel free to question me about it, but I will have no problem explaining to them what they want to know and sticking to my guns.  I am who I am, and if you don't like it, oh well! :)

Just having read that blog entry from last year, I also smiled, because I know that I've come a long way in only a year, and that excites me to know that things can get even better yet by the time the next year rolls along.  In the words of my mother, "Life is a journey, and it's scary, but it's all worth it in the end."  Or something like that! :)  I do still truly believe that mothers know exactly what to say in almost every situation...that hasn't changed a bit!  And my family is still very supportive of me, as I know they always will be!! 

P.S. That song still gets me through some pretty tough days! It's quite inspiring if you take the time to listen to the message. :)  And I just realized that link no longer works, but the song is Forgive Me by Group 1 Crew!

I Love My Life

What a great day! For one, I got to sleep in, which is always a great thing! :) Second, the weather is absolutely gorgeous!  Usually, I don't mind staying inside and getting stuff done, but I just HAD to get outside earlier, so I took Colten to eat at Freebird's...haven't been there in FOREVER!  It's so pretty, and it's not even officially spring yet! Ha! On another positive note, I didn't have to work today.

Work has been kicking my ass.  I'm always super exhausted when I get home after a long day and never feel motivated enough to get anything done.  With it being Spring Break, I wouldn't mind it, but I have a lot of homework that needs to get done, so it's definitely not helping!  BUT, I can't complain "too much."  I absolutely love every Thursday when I get paid :).  I love having more financial independence!!

So, today is basically just a great day. I've got Slacker Radio goin on my laptop, I'm not watching tv (which always distracts me), the weather is beautiful, I'm getting lots accomplished, I'm nice and full from Freebird's, I have an amazing boyfriend, an AWESOME family, and badass friends...hello?! What could be wrong?! :) I love my life. ♥

el-oh-vee-ee ♥

I am head over heels, truly, madly, deeply in love.  What else is there to say about that?  Oh yeah, LOTS!  Colten is absolutely the most amazing guy ever!!  He truly loves me for who I am and always looks out for what's best for "us".  I've never been with someone that has cared about me the way that he does.  And I've also never cared for anyone the way I do about him!  It's been amazing :).  Of course there are some bumps in the road here and there, but we always sit down and talk about it to figure out what the problem is and find a solution.  That's another part of what I love about our relationship...we ALWAYS talk things out.  I've been in relationships where the fighting can go on for days without any attempt for resolve.  Not with Colten.  And I love it! ♥. 

Right now, he's going through a phase I know all too well: trying to figure out exactly what you want to do with your life!  He's been back and forth about what to major in and what to do, and I've tried to be supportive through everything.  But sometimes it's really hard.  I'm stressed about what I've decided to do with my life: law, and between keeping up with my classes and making sure he keeps up with his plus now the possibility of changing his major's just overwhelming sometimes.  BUT, I think we had an epiphany last night!  I finally realized that it doesn't matter how long it takes him to finish with a degree, no matter what major he chooses in the end.  I was freaking out about both of us graduating around the same time with the possibility of starting our lives together.  I was just so focused on TIME.  But last night, it hit me.  It doesn't matter how long it takes!  What was I so worried about?  Whether he finishes before me or if I finish before him, it doesn't matter!  That doesn't mean we won't end up together.  We had a long heartfelt and emotional talk about the whole thing and now he's thinking about going back to ITT to finish the degree he started working on computers (or something like that).  He then continued to tell me that he would possibly get a job working on a rig.  *Deep breath in...and out.*  It would mean the possibility of him moving away from Austin once he's done next June for work.  It would be SUPER hard on our relationship seeing as we get to see each other every day for a while now...but that doesn't mean we can't get through it.  Plus, it would mean he'd be making quite a bit of money, which I know he would love (who wouldn't love not having financial problems?!).  Anyway, I'm going to support him no matter what he decides to do or pursue.  As long as it doesn't jeopardize our relationship...which I know he wouldn't do! :) 

Whew.  That was a long time coming!  Anyway...back to the love stuff ;).  It's been eight months that we've been together, and I still get butterflies around him and get excited when he texts me or kisses my forehead.  It's the little things!  I've never cried so much in my life for being HAPPY!  It's kind of crazy!  He makes me sooo happy, which is something I haven't had in such a long time.  At first I was scared of it, but now I know better :).  We are so good for each other and we bring out the best in each other.  He really is an amazing man and I am truly blessed to get the opportunity to be with him and experience his love and give him all of the love I am able to give (which is a lot).  I'm so thankful for Colten having come into my life.  I can't stress that enough!  And I can only hope he feels the same way.

Little Updates

So, I have the online training for HEB behind me...I just have to get through two days of Checker Training and a day of Alcohol Sellers Training.  And then I can start work!! :).  But anyway.  I'm really excited about Friday!  I just got off of the phone with a potential apartment complex, and now me and Colten have an appointment to go see their two bedroom apartment that I just fell in love with when looking at the floorplan online.  Hopefully we will love it in person as well!  *fingers crossed*.  I can't wait to move.  We will have so much more space and room to actually have company and not feel so ... "shoved in a closet".  Ha.  So ... things are going great right now and fingers crossed for the future! :)

Drum Roll Please...

...I got a job! Yay!  Ok, so it's not the most amazing job on the planet, but it's perfect for what I want/need right now in my life.  I need some part time work to earn some steady income.  So, HEB answered my calling!  I applied at HEB as a cashier with hopes of getting it, considering I already have the experience from working at Wal-Mart.  Yesterday I had an interview with the front-end manager, then he took me to the Unit Director, and he took me straight to Admin to fill out some paperwork.  I received a call this morning (it had to go to voicemail because I was taking a test) but I checked it and it was Toni from Admin explaining that my background check came back good and that she wanted me to come in tomorrow if I was still interested in the position ... Yay!  So, I go in tomorrow morning at 8am to fill out the rest of my new hire paperwork and receive further information for training.  Yay (have I said that already?). :) So, I finally rejoined the workforce.  And it's about time!  Getting the extra money every week will be very helpful!  I'm super excited!  That is all. ♥.

the big C

Cancer is in the air.  Ok, not technically, but there have been deaths due to cancer in this past week that have hit close to home.  A lady that dad works with at the bank has been battling cancer for years and lost her battle on Sunday.  The funeral was today, which my dad attended.  He said there were easily a thousand people there ... she was a very loved lady!  They had cameras set up sending feed to other buildings for the overflow of people.  How crazy is that...

Another family that I know is suffering this week is one from back home.  One of my old classmate's dad lost his battle with cancer on Monday.  I'm not familiar with how long he had been fighting, but I know it was for a while.  He left behind a wife and two daughters. 

My heart goes out to these families this week because losing a loved one to Cancer is not easy.  Well, losing a loved one at all isn't easy, much less to cancer.  It really makes me take a step back and see just how much some people suffer compared to how much I feel I suffer some days.  My suffering is NOTHING compared to those individuals fighting for their lives each and every day.  I pray that the families of these recent cancer victims find strength in God's love to find healing in this hard time.  I could never even begin to imagine losing my parents or siblings, or any of my family or close friends right now.  I know death is another part of life, but it scares me and it's painful for the ones left behind to cope with.  The classmate I spoke of earlier is two years younger than me, and she lost her father.  She is a freshman in college, going through the hardships of getting accustomed to college life and the homesickness and pressures that go along with it, and now she must deal with the death of her father, to whom I know she was very close to.  It's devastating, and it breaks my heart.  I pray every day that someone out there finds a cure to this horrible disease.

It's times like this that also makes me think of the loved ones I have lost due to cancer: my aunt and my grandmother.  I didn't know my aunt very well, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her and wish that I could have had the opportunity to get to know her.  And I miss my grandmother dearly.  She was the strongest woman I have ever known and I can only wish that I become half the woman she ever was.  May they and all those who became victims of cancer rest in peace, and may their families find comfort and strength in knowing that their loved ones are no longer suffering. 


Apartment hunting!  Yep, it's that time again.  Although I still have about 5 months until my lease is up here, I have to be thinking of the future.  I'm trying to get a job (haha...not going so great), and it got me, Colten brought it up a few weeks ago.  We are planning to officially move in together in July.  But the thing is, once he gets the rest of his stuff in this apartment, along with all of the junk I have, we would be very crammed in this apartment.  So, we are officially looking for a new apartment.  We found one in the hill country, west of Austin, and it's awesome.  We are going to have so much space, it's exciting!  Lol.  Of course, I'm also very excited to continue living with Colten.  We are very happy together and I feel that this is the right move to make.  Anyway, hopefully we will find something we fall in love with and get going on the packing.  :)

It seems that I move every year (well, I have moved every year since I left for college).  But, at the end of every year, I'm at a different place in my life which causes me to need to move to a different apartment.  First, I moved out of the house and got a small one bedroom apartment downtown Austin to be close to UT campus.  After that year, I was ready to have some roommates, so I moved in with Randi and Chelsea.  After that year, it was time for me to get back into my own place, so I moved to where I am now.  And then Colten came along, so it's going to be time to pursue that path.  Whew!  So, there you have it.  Hopefully this next apartment will be the one I stay at for a few years at least.

Home Is Where the Heart Is

So, I felt maybe I should head home for a weekend before I get engulfed with school & homework & projects.  I got here around 11:45 this morning and found my parents in the wooded area in front of where they are planning to build their new house.  I walked over to them, secretly hoping they would take a lunch break...for one, I was starving, and for 2, I wasn't too keen on the idea of helping...okay, maybe NOT so secret ;).  Anyway, they did, and the chili mom made for lunch was amazing!  Seriously, you've never had chili unless you've had it like that!  We got to watching some t.v. shows on the food network (Worst Cooks in America is another one of my new favorite shows) and decided to go back out to work on the trees some more.  This time, I went with them with the mindset to help.  Dad had even bought me my own pair of gloves! :) Yay!  I went out there and actually had a good time!  It felt so good to be out here in St. John, where I spent 18 years of my life, and to be in the fresh air doing some good, manual labor.  I'm also really excited for them to start building on their new house.  They deserve it and have needed it for so long! :).  Anyway, long story short it feels good to be home and to spend some time with my parents again.  It's been long overdue.  Now, it's on to doing some homework while the chicken fried steak is made and gets ready for me to EAT IT! :) lol.  It's also a great way to start off the new semester!

So far, so good

As of tonight, I have been to all of my new classes except one, Legal Contracts.  It's also the one I'm dreading the most.  Anyway, so far I have been pretty lucky in the classes that I have chosen and the professors I get to "deal with" this semester.  Both of my law professors seem really laid back and interesting, as opposed to many of the "stiff lawyers" people have the pleasure of dealing with.  Both of these professors are, in fact, lawyers, but they are down to earth guys and they make it seem like this semester won't be so bad.  So I'm hoping anyway. 

As for my speech's going pretty well so far.  It's the class I'm taking with Colten, but today we all were divided into five groups of five and have to sit with decided groups, and me and Colten aren't in the same group.  Sad face.  But the class so far seems to be going okay.

Government is a different story.  I'm taking it as a hybrid class, which means 50% of the material is lecture once a week, and 50% of the material is online whateverness.  I found out today that we have to participate in discussion questions online as well as creating a blog, yes, a BLOG, and use it to post our opinions and ideas of certain topics that Mr. Seago is going to throw at us.  Fortunately for me, this blog is to be made using Google's blogger.  Yay!  It's what I'm using for this blog so I already know how it works.  SCORE! 

So, it's going to be an interesting semester.  I'm just going to have to stay on top of things and see how it goes! 

T minus 2 days and counting!

Classes start on Tuesday and it's pretty exciting! :)  I say it now, that I can't wait and how much I'm looking forward to this semester, but those feelings might change once I get halfway through.  I know it's going to be super stressful but I'm stoked to get into my law classes and get that much closer to my degree.  School hasn't always been the easiest for me, but now that last semester went better than expected and things are looking up, I'm setting the stakes high for this semester and am expecting to get good grades. *fingers crossed!*  That's pretty much all there is to say until I get in the swing of things with school. :)

Little Surprises

I got to wake up this morning to beautiful flowers and a card from Colten.  I love getting little surprises like this!   When I asked him why he bought them for me, his answer was, "Just because I love you".  Now you can't honestly say any woman wouldn't want a man who buys flowers and an amazingly romantic card "just because". :)  I'm so lucky and SUPER happy!  I love him. ♥


As if attending college wasn't expensive enough, textbooks have to be OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive, especially specific books geared towards your major, such as my law books.  I will be starting three law classes next week and each one needs at least 2 books ... making my total for textbooks to be over $600 this semester.  That's crap!  It's ridiculous to spend that much, but there's no way around it.  I just thought it was time to vent, so there ya go.

On a different note: Grey's Anatomy is amazing. :) Oh come on, as if you hadn't already known that?! Ha!  I just watched the last episode of last season and it still hits me every time, even though I already know how it ends.  This show really makes you sit back and really think about your life.  Well, to me anyway.  The relationships between the characters is awesome, and it really makes the show amazing, for lack of a better word.  :)

Well, that is all! :)

Puzzle Pieces

I can honestly say that I'm at a point in my life where all of the scattered, tattered, torn, and missing puzzle pieces are coming together to complete the puzzle of my life.

I have never been more confident or excited to start a new semester of school.  I finally feel like I have a major that I'm supposed to be in to earn a degree that I actually want.  January 19th can't come soon enough.  Yes, I know I will be overwhelmed with my law classes, but that's just because it will be completely new material to me that I've never seen or dealt with before.  Once I get the hang of it, I will be fine.  Bring. It. On.

I also feel like my family life has been super amazing this past year and a half or so.  Every family has its ups and downs, but I know I can truly count on every member of my family to be there for me, and they have!  No matter what time of day it is, I know that whoever I call will answer the phone and be there for me.  My family is amazing, and they are my rock.  They help keep me grounded when I begin to have unrealistic dreams and goals.  They keep me close to reality, which helps me see who I truly am and where I'm going with my life.  And I couldn't ask for anything more from them.  I am extremely blessed to have the perfect family.  :)

As for the romance puzzle piece, it's PERFECT and fits in so well!!  Colten is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  He's everything I've ever dreamed of for a significant other.  I agree that things might have moved quickly in the beginning, but no matter what happened, we stuck it out and got through every obstacle together, without much arguing and bickering.  I'm a girl and have the tendency to let my frustrations out on whoever is closest to me, which is most often Colten, but he just comes up to me, puts his arm around me, and tells me that everything will be ok and just to breathe.  He understands me so well that it's hard to believe sometimes.  I've honestly never cried so much in my life because of how happy I am!  He makes me extremely happy, and that's really what counts.  I know that I can count on him for anything, and he knows the same is true for him.  We are always looking out for each other, and that's what makes our relationship true and lasting.  We truly care about each other and want the best for each other.  He also loves me just the way I am.  I'm so used to being with someone that is constantly trying to change me or "critique" me in some way or another, but not Colten.  He never puts me down or brings my self confidence down.  He does just the opposite.  He always tells me that I'm beautiful, even if I feel bad that day and that I couldn't look any worse.  No matter what I do or how I dress, the look that he gets in his eyes when he looks at me is breathtaking.  And I'm so lucky to have him in my life!  I do my best to make him feel the same way, and I'm constantly telling him that I love him exactly the way he is...I just hope he believes me.  We are learning and growing together, and I love every minute of it!  I always thought I would never want to live with a guy before I married him, but having Colten by my side every day has been amazing.  I couldn't have dreamed of anything more than he gives and does for me.  I was so wrong about so many things in my life.  I never knew how good I could have it.  And I have it damn good!  I'm excited to see what our future holds for us and I'm ready for it, whatever it is!

As for religion in my life, I've unfortunately and stupidly put it on the back burner, but I have decided to change that.  I plan on being more active in my faith and pursuing what God has in store for me.  I know I've been through a lot of rough times, but I put completely trust in Him and I know that He wouldn't put me through it if I couldn't handle it.  I'm very excited to pursue my faith further and have a closer relationship with Him.

So, as for the puzzle that is my life, I can definitely say that it's coming together quite nicely.  Things may seem horrible and unable to be fixed or helped in any way, but there's always that light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm excited about my life and I can't wait to continue living it to the fullest each day!  :)

And all I have left to say about that is...'s about damn time!
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