Emotional Disaster

This week has been terrible.    And it's only Wednesday.   Actually, I believe I made that statement yesterday, when it was only Tuesday.     We all know those weeks where it just seems like the world is completely against you.  Well, that's life.  What are we to do?  It's just so...hard.       I received heartbreaking news on Monday afternoon, which I knew was only a matter of time.  More to come on that specific topic later.   My heart cannot handle it right now.     On top of that, the horrific tornado struck in Oklahoma, leaving many families torn apart and desperate for help.  Although I was not personally devastated by the impact, it's everywhere: in the news, social media, talk around the office...  There's no escaping it.  It's tragic, and those affected will need time and prayer to heal their souls.   And the week continues...   Yesterday, Colten received information from his school regarding his financial aid.  We now have to come up with an obscene amount of money in order for his projected graduation/school path to continue as planned.   Thankfully, for this 'problem', I knew where to turn.   But that didn't stop me from having a full blown panic attack.  It came out of nowhere.     And here I sit today, feeling all kinds of defeated and every bit drained from being a total emotional disaster.   My eyes burn.    It's not normal to cry so much. Seriously, I've had to have the lights off in my office for the past few days in order for me to even open my eyes.     But I can't help it.  I'm sad; I'm anxious; I'm stressed; I'm angry; I'm exhausted.   I guess that would sum up being an emotional disaster.   My brain can't even function normally.   I need sleep.     I've been working overtime at work on top of already working two jobs.  Why?  It's excellent money!  And now, since yesterday's news, we're in even more need of as much extra money we can come up with as possible.  And I'm reminded:

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:19 

God will provide for my needs.  When I think it can't get worse after being hit with wave after wave of turmoil, I am shown the light.  I for sure thought there was no way we could afford for my husband to finish school as planned, but there is a way, and he will finish as planned.  It is NOW that the overtime at work is being offered - and it's a big deal, as it doesn't happen very often at all.  It is NOW that we are able to get the support that we need from those we love.  It is NOW that God continues to show me that He, once again, provides for what it is that we need in that moment.

He has not and will not fail me.  That doesn't mean there won't be rough days ahead, as I know for a fact there will be ... it's going to be a hard next few weeks, it's guaranteed.  But I'm not alone.  My husband has lifted me up on so many occasions, and I'm ever so thankful for God placing him in my life.  My parents are always there to support us, both of us, in every aspect possible.  They have never and will never turn their backs on us, especially in our time of need.

So, although this is a very hard time in my life, my faith remains strong.  

 

I just might bend, but I won't break.  

There's gonna be BRIGHTER DAYS.

  I know that this, too, shall pass.  But for now, I fear that I will remain an emotional disaster, and I pray that peace is in my near future.