Life Happens

Yesterday was a whirlwind. And now I'm angry, frustrated, stressed, mad, worried ... it goes on and on. 

Colten noticed a knot on his calf several days ago, which we both blew off as probably a bite of some sort that would go away on its own. Well, it didn't. It progressively got worse and then actually started hurting him. So, yesterday, he was off to the doctor. 

Once he was done there, he was told he'd had to have a venous doppler ultrasound done. When he tried to leave for that appointment, his truck wouldn't start. There was no one else around at the time to offer him a ride, so I left work early and took off to take him.  
We got the diagnosis from the radiologist: my dear, sweet husband has blood clots. Plural

I'm scared. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. 

And then I remind myself: life happens. These moments are inevitable. It's scary not knowing what's going on or what prompted something else to happen. It's frustrating having to deal with car problems when you shouldn't be having car problems {he bought a new battery only six short months ago...this should not be an issue}. It's terrifying to watch the love of your life first battle pneumonia and then get hit with blood clots. 

I'm stressed. I don't know where to turn. I don't know what to do. I'm worried. I'm mad. 

His doctor has yet to contact him to inform him of the next step now that his diagnosis has been confirmed. This angers me to no end. Aren't blood clots serious? Shouldn't there be a course of action for him to start on by now? I'm no medical professional, but not having answers or a 'plan' is driving me insane. We were there for hours yesterday, and we still have no clue what is going to happen next. 

Then, we had to still deal with the dead truck at the doctor's office. The plan was to jump it with my car. This took like 20 minutes -- it helps to know where the battery is in your car! I just got the car not too long ago, so I didn't know. My dad had to look it up - it's by the spare tire in the back of the car. Seriously? 
We were finally able to head home, but my husband still has no reliable transportation right now. And he had to open at work today. He has blood clots in his leg and has to go to work - his doctor hasn't said he can't. He has no 'excuse' that's good enough not to be there. He's in pain, and he has to work. This breaks my heart. 

And how was he supposed to get there? We both had to be at work within two hours of each other, and we only had one working vehicle. Stressed is an understatement. 

It's never-ending. Life happens. We just have to deal with it and move on. I'm just lucky enough that no matter what life throws at us, I have my loving, caring, goofy husband to hold my hand along the way, through every storm. He never lets go, and I'm amazed by his strength time and time again. Although he has been in pain, he still puts a smile on my face and cheers me up, even though he's the patient. He will go out of his way to make sure I'm okay. He melts my heart. 

I'm still worried about him and pray that he makes it through the day in as little to no pain as possible. I pray that he doesn't worsen today or have any serious complications while he's at work. I know that God is in control and ultimately knows the outcome of this storm, but while weathering it, I worry. What if he gets worse? What if he's not okay? What if we receive worse news today? Tomorrow?  

The 'what ifs' are nauseating. I refuse to get bogged down in them, but I still worry. I'm just glad that through it all, I get to experience the highs and lows of this life all with my husband by my side. All while life happens around us. 


Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I'll be praying for you guys. Hang in there!

Raewyn @ Be A Warrior Queen said...

Oh my goodness, you are right. Blood clots are no joke! Especially when they follow pneumonia. I don't want to scare you but you must go back to the doctors (or the ER) because it could develop into a pulmonary embolism if not treated immediately. Last yea r at this time (maybe this exact day...I don't remember). My dad went to the doc for pneumonia and they noticed he had a blood clot in his leg. They rushed him to the ER and he was diagnosed with a PE and speny the first night in ICU and the ER. They had to put a mesh in him to dtop the blood clots from spreading and he was in the hospital through Christmas and NYE. He is still on blood thinners now. I know it isn't always so extreme, but it is better to be preventative! You are in my thoughts!

Allyssa said...

Hi, girl! It's good to know that you're recognizing how life sometimes takes twists and turns that we don't expect. What's awesome, though, is that we can ALWAYS trust and hope in the Lord through them all! :)

Haley said...

I'm so sorry! I feel bad that I haven't been around to say- Awwwww! You have the right attitude Brianna! Life happens. Keep your chin up lady!

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