Why We're Waiting...

I got a lot of feedback on my previous post about babies. So, I'm at it again. Mostly, to answer the aging question, "When are y'all going to have kids???" 

The question mostly comes up like this: 
"Y'all have been married for over two years now. Aren't y'all thinking of having kids anytime soon? What are you waiting for? When are y'all going to have kids?" 

As previously mentioned, we do want kids. Just not right now! Seriously, why can't people just accept where you are in your life, whether it be single, married, dating, baby-less, a house full of little ones, loving on a dog/cat, living in a mansion, struggling in an apartment with no white picket fence - WHO CARES?! Okay okay, that's really a topic for another day {it's coming, don't worry}. 

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Do those precious toes make me want to have a child of my own? Of course! But seriously, what's the rush? Some may disagree with me, but this is my blog. Therefore, my opinions. You can leave if you want, I don't mind. 

Yes, Colten and I have been married for over two years. 
Yes, we both want to become parents. 
Yes, we have baby fever. 
Yes, we're waiting. 

Why? Let's take a look at the reasons why we're waiting, shall we? It's really why you're here anyway... 

Finances.
Surprise, surprise {not!}, having a baby costs bookoos of money. I'm talking lots and lots of paper. LOTS! I don't know from personal experience {obviously}, but it's no secret. It starts with the moment you are aware you're pregnant. It's doctor bill after doctor bill, and it's only the beginning. For nine{ish} months, you will attend numerous doctor appointments to check on your baby as well as your own well-being. Fun fact: we're not rolling in the dough. Therefore, we know that we want to be more financially stable before even attempting for children. Before you go rolling your eyes at me {yes, that means you!}, I am completely aware of the fact that no one is ever able to afford having a baby, and if we wait until we can afford it, it'll never happen. Preach elsewhere, please, as I've already mentioned - I'm aware! But there's a huge difference in being able to afford a baby and being financially stable for a baby to enter into our lives. If you want more details on that, you just let me know. :) 

Marriage.
Marriage is not something that I take lightly {no one should}. I vowed forever with my husband, and by gosh, I'm going to enjoy every minute! Which also means I'm going to truly cherish every single second that it's just 'two' in our family. For those of you thinking, "but it's already been two years..." Yes, it has, but can you ever really have enough time with your spouse? Seriously, Colten and I don't get that much time together {definitely not as much as we'd like}, so we're really not rushing into adding another HUGE and LIFE CHANGING commitment to the mix right now. We want to truly enjoy each other and learn more about each other, which we do every single day. We want to stand by our commitment to stand by each other. That doesn't mean that marriage is out the window once a baby comes into the picture, but I want to be able to experience life with my husband by my side and be sure that we have 'married memories' that don't involve waking up in the middle of the night to a blood curdling scream from a newborn that only has to poop. Ok? Okay. 

It's not our decision anyway! 
Wait, what? Yes, you read that right. It's not mine or Colten's decision when the right time is for us to have children {if we even can}. We firmly believe that it will happen in God's timing. He holds our future in His hands, and if it shall be, it will be. Colten and I have such a want to one day become parents that we know it will happen one day, one way or another. It may not be easy, but through our current state of 'wanting', we're also learning a lot. Roman's 5:3-5 says: 

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. 

We are learning perseverance and building our character to be better parents one day than we would be today. I have unfailing faith in our Savior that his will shall be done through me. If I'm meant to become a mother, it'll happen in God's timing and in God's way. 

However, that doesn't mean that I'm not human and want a baby so badly some days, because I do. God knows the wants and desires of my heart, which leaves me clinging to these two verses - 

Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.  
-Mark 11:24 

Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.  
-Psalm 37:4

God knows what he's doing. He knows better than I could ever imagine. And because of that, we're waiting. We know that His timing will be impeccable, as with all things, and I will just be content having 'baby fever' until it happens. That doesn't go to say that I will be happy waiting until I'm in my 40's to have a baby, because let's face it, I'm a pretty impatient person. But God knows all of this. It's really nothing new to Him. My patience will definitely be tested during this time of 'waiting', but I know it's what's right. For all involved parties. 

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 
-Psalm 37:7 

Yes, God, I hear you! :) 

How amazing is it to be at peace knowing he is working for me, even though I cannot yet see it? When we rest in God and trust Him to take care of us, then we stop trying to make things happen on our own. 



9 comments:

Brittany F said...

Brianna,

This is beautiful! I'm sorry you feel like you need to explain yourself to anyone.

My sister's celebrating her two year anniversary today (woooo) and she's an elementary educator, she really loves children. Her and her husband made the same choice to wait, and for so many of the same reasons. I know she struggles with baby-fever and I know they both want children very badly. I'm going to share this post with her and I think she'll find a lot of strength in your words. You didn't have to share, but I'm so glad you did!

Brittany @ Everyday Thoughts

Patty said...

Girl. I hear ya!!!!
I have struggled with this one, especially guilt from this. Its nobody's business but you and your husband. Jim and I personally, we do take and pray about it each month, but we know right now God is showing us area's we really need to heal and work through in our lives.
I feel ya, and can relate:)

Kaysey said...

There is no rush, promise! Soak up your time with your hubby now. We waited 4 years to have kids.

Allison @ Texas Mrs. said...

Amen, sista! God knows what he's doing!

Haley said...

I'm a bit upset (not really) that you felt the need to write this. You do not have to explain to anyone why you two have decided to wait. I really get irked by people who bug and ask and bug.. It's inconsiderate because some people just can't have babies. That's why I never ask. But- it's totally your decision, for whatever reasons you so choose. Seriously, I was SO ready by the time we decided to try to have a baby and I'm really glad that I was ready because we got pregnant the first time we tried. I'm not kidding. So, it's really important to be ready. Not financially ready- but YOUR financial ready. Not because you've already been married for 2 years but because you and Colten feel like it's time. You have that aching feeling that you want a baby.. you can't stand it anymore then it's time. That is when you should do it. On your time, on His time, whatever floats your boat.

Chelsea Phelps said...

This is really well written! We have experienced the same sort of pressure from different family members, friends, and complete strangers, and it's just a little frustrating. I guess I just have a hard time seeing why it is anyone else's business :)

XOXO
Chelsea
http://www.anchorsaweighblog.com/

Kimberley T said...

Hey I'm just stopping by to let you know that I nominated you for the Liebster award, I hope you can participate.
http://kimt1989.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/liebster-award-2_25.html

Night Owl said...

Oh to the day that I"m in your shoes b/c it's not gonna get pretty. B/c personally what you and your husband do and what you want is ya'lls business. Once everyone stays out of others business life will be so much better. Oh the day when this happens. when folks mind their damn business.

Casey Aslan said...

YES, YES, and YES! Great post!

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